I push my lips forward, understanding him completely.
The only problem is, I am one of four and I have a feeling at least half of us sees this from a very different point of view.Chapter 50CHLOESo, there we are, all sitting in a doctor’s office, and my hands are shaking. The elephant in the room is the size of a pea.
To say we are on edge is an understatement.
Mason and Enzo have been nothing but positive this week. I’m talking mint tea delivered in bed each morning–– my morning sickness cure–– and they hired a housecleaner to come every day to help with laundry and dishes so I don’t have to think about anything, which is so amazing but still, we’ve avoided really talking about the pregnancy. We agreed last week that we would wait until a doctor confirmed it before got to the nitty-gritty details of what this will mean.
Thankfully the guys are busy with work for most of the day, but they must be tense as heck out at sites too because foul moods enter the house every afternoon.
I canceled with Harlow a few days ago, feeling weird about going out with a stranger now that I was pregnant, and not sure how in the world I would choose just one guy to be my date.
She texted back right away saying no worries, but still, there was a pang of regret that I was missing out on getting to know another woman. The need to connect with other ladies right now is so raw and real, but how am I supposed to do that in this condition? But then she texted again, a day later, asking if I wanted to meet up on her next day off to grab coffee. I replied yes, thinking not having to decide on which guy to bring along might make things easier. I appreciated her effort and promised myself not to cancel a second time in a row.
When the doctor enters the room, and introduces herself as Dr. Brown, we all smile and tell her our names.
“It’s a big group for the first visit. Usually, it’s just the mother and a partner or family member. How are all of you connected?”
Dr. Brown smiles warmly, taking a seat as she is swiping her tablet screen, presumably pulling up my information. I already peed in a cup when I arrived at the office and assume she has the results.
The guys look at me and I take the lead. It is what I want to do. I spent some time doing intense therapy before leaving California, after Mason’s accident, and I no longer care what a random doctor thinks about my unconventional relationship. “They are my partners, all of them.” I fold my hands in my lap, shoulders straight, and meet her gaze. I may be nervous in a thousand and one ways right now, but none of it is because I am unsure of how I feel about the men with me today.
“Oh, uh, all of you are, um, right, of course.” She lifts her eyebrows and smiles wide. I’m sure she has had some sort of training on how to be politically correct in a situation like that, and I’m glad she’s been taught to swallow whatever might be popping into her mind right now.
Still, what she says next surprises me. “That’s wonderful, that you have a built-in support system. You are going to need that over the next, well, forever.” She smiles warmly and I see Mason nodding in agreement.
Why do I always assume the worst of people? Like, automatically decide people are going to offend me or hurt me or let me down?
Then I remember a counseling session, how I had to be reminded over and over that my past trauma doesn’t define my future. That not everyone is out to hurt me just because I have been hurt in the past.
I take a deep breath. “I know it’s different. But it is ours. I’m really thankful I’m not in this alone.” I reach for Noah and Enzo’s hands, as they sit on either side of me, and squeeze them.
“When you say she’ll need a support system, is that because...” Enzo begins.
Dr. Brown nods. “Yes, congratulations, Chloe. You are very much pregnant.”
I pull my hands from the guys’ and cover my mouth in shock. Even though I knew this was true for a hundred reasons ... sore breasts, tired, nauseous, late on my cycle, I still wondered if maybe it was all a silly dream I concocted out of thin air.
But no. It is real.
I’m having a baby.
The guys are looking at me expectantly, and that is when I burst out into tears.
Goodness, what is with the freaking waterworks?
Dr. Brown hands me a tissue and asks if I’d like a minute alone with her.