“Stefan,” I plead. “You just told me that everything I’ve done was for no reason.”
“Don’t do that,” he says, and it might be my imagination, but I swear a tiny bit of his resolve begins to crumble. I push on.
“Do what? Speak the truth?”
“Taara,” he warns, taking a step toward me, but I hold up my hand and take a step backward. Not that there’s anywhere to go.
“No, Stefan. I’ve earned the right to speak the truth, haven’t I?”
With a sigh, he concedes, but when he stands in front of me with his arms crossed on his chest, looking so intimidating, I almost cave. It’s funny how quickly I forget how big and strong and muscular he is until he’s standing in front of me. I’ve seen full grown men quake in front of him, so I know it isn’t just in my head how scary he is. I take a deep breath, let it out slowly, then plead my case as best I can.
“You told me I had a chance to help the Afghani women,” I tell him. “And if you didn’t have me here with you, you wouldn’t have found out what I did about tonight, would you?”
He lets out a breath and opens his mouth, but before he can speak, I plow on. “After what we’ve been through, what we’ve done, what we’ve confessed to one another, I’m not backing down. And I don’t want to be separated from you,” I tell him. “It matters to me. It matters so much to me. I can’t even tell you.”
His stone-like features soften at that, and he takes another step toward me. He’s within arm’s reach now, and I want to let him hold me, tell him everything he means to me. I’ve confessed my deepest dreams and wishes to him, my biggest fears. I’ve come to him at my most vulnerable and survived to tell about it, so I can’t give up now. I won’t.
My throat feels scratchy, and my nose tingles.
“Please, daddy,” I whisper, and when I blink, a tear rolls down my cheek. “Don’t make me leave you.”
He gathers me to him and it’s messy, my hair is all tangled in his beard and I’m crying, my tears dampening his shirt. I’ve cried before with him, but that was different then. That was before he broke me open and folded me all back together again. That was before I believed he loved me.
“Taara,” he says brokenly. “I can’t put you in danger again. If anyone hurts you, I’ll have to kill them.” And when I hear those words, I know, the weight of the lives he’s taken anchors his heart and mind, and he’s loathe to go there again.
“Then protect me, Stefan,” I whisper. “I trust that you will. I know that you can.” It’s a lot that I ask, but I can’t turn away now, and appealing to his inner need to look after me is my only chance.
He holds me in silence for long minutes, our hearts beating in time and my tears streaming down my face, before he speaks.
“Promise me you’ll do what I tell you,” he says, and I know then that he’s softening, that he’s considering my plea.
“I promise,” I tell him.
He holds me tighter. “I mean it, Taara. This is no game we play.”
I swallow hard. I’m willful and stubborn, but I can give this to him. I have to. So, I look up into his eyes and blink away my tears and give him nothing but the bald truth. “If you give me this chance, I promise you, Stefan. I will not let you down. I will trust you.” I go up on my tiptoes and brush my lips across his before I speak again. “I promise. You have my word.” I weave my fingers through his. “We’re a team now, you and I.” I use the last card I have, and I go out on a limb. “And do you really want to trust my protection to someone else?” I shoot him my most winsome smile, but this is the most important thing I’ve ever asked him. “This, from the man who insisted on feeding me breakfast by hand?”
“Chert poberi,” he curses.
“I promise, if I even think about disobeying you, you can flay me alive.”
“I fucking will.”
“You won’t have to, but I still promise.”
He laughs, and I breathe freely for a moment. “Please.”
Before he answers, he tangles his fingers in my hair, and closes his eyes as if steeling himself to do this. Then he captures my mouth and kisses me so hard it’s bruising and punishing, as if he’s warning me what I’m up against. My lips burn and tingle when he pulls away, his mouth just inches from mine.
“Alright,” he concedes. My heart sings with hope. “We’ll do this together. You and me. And I’ll hold you to everything you said, Taara.”