“You saw the pictures on my phone. I didn’t just manufacture those out of thin air. You saw my ink, right over my heart. The lock and key with your name in the barbed wire and roses. Only you, Breezy. That’s what it says. That’s what it means. I belong to Breezy Simmons. I want to belong to Breezy Russak. The things in this house, I bought them for you before you ever showed up. Give me this chance, baby.”
There was a long silence. He heard his heart beating. Hard. Aching. Fear gripped him, turning his stomach to knots.
“You tore me apart, Steele,” she admitted in a small voice. “Completely and utterly apart. I didn’t think I could survive, and I didn’t even know if I wanted to. Until Zane. Until I knew I had that little part of you. I don’t think I can go through that again.”
His heart stuttered. She hadn’t known she was pregnant when she left. She might have had a woman’s intuition, but she didn’t know for certain. If she had, she might have told him, and he would have found a better way to keep her safe.
“Hear me out. That’s all I’m asking.”
“I don’t know if I can believe you.”
He knew that wasn’t it. She was afraid she would believe him.
“I’m a damn good liar, baby. And I can con anyone. But this is us. You and me. You’re my world and I want you back. I’m giving you everything if that’s what you want, and trust me, Bree, it’s damned hard to tell you some of the things that need to be said.”
“There’s the club. I don’t want that life. I don’t want it for me or for Zane.”
“You saw Czar’s family. You saw the way they were together. We aren’t the Swords. We’ll never be that club or treat our women and children the way they do.” Before she could protest, he bit her shoulder gently and then tugged at her earlobe. Keeping his voice a husky whisper, he continued. “In any case, we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s start with the party.”
Before anything, he had to get those three women he’d partied with out of the way and hope she believed him. If he couldn’t put that to rest, nothing he said after would matter because she’d always come back to that one moment. He cursed himself for hurting her.
She didn’t reply, but she stopped straining away from him. He felt the little goose bumps on her skin and tasted her excited heartbeat on his tongue when he used his teeth and lips on her. She was very susceptible to his particular brand of sex. He kissed his way up her neck and then pressed another one to her nape, his other hand coming up under her left breast to hold that soft weight in his palm.
“My parents, in Russia, ran afoul of a man by the name of Sorbacov. He was very powerful and had the backing of the man he wanted in the presidency. All those opposed were made to disappear, including my parents. I was very young, a toddler at the time.”
She stirred just a little, enough to tell him she was about to stop him. He forestalled her protest by rubbing his thumb over her nipple. She liked breast and nipple play, and he wasn’t averse to cheating. There was satisfaction in feeling the shiver that ran through her body in spite of the heat of the water.
“I know this doesn’t sound like it has anything to do with that party, but it has everything to do with it—and with me—the way I am. I want you to know the real me—Steele, and why I’m Steele. Why I choose Torpedo Ink and my brothers and sisters. Why I choose you. It’s important, Breezy, so I’m asking that you’ll hear me out. Really listen to me without trying to think up shit to keep us apart. Just listen. Can you do that for me, baby?”
She let out a sigh and pressed her head against his chest. “You have no idea what you’re asking of me.”
“I do, but it’s important. Think about raising Zane with two parents. You’d have help. No matter what, Bree, you’ll be fine financially, I’ll see to that, but give us this shot.”
Their son was clearly her first priority. Steele remembered when he had been her priority. Her every thought had been for him. She was made that way. Some women weren’t and that was fine, but she had a way of making him the center of her existence. He should have done the same. Now they had Zane, and Steele had no doubt that she had a big enough heart to make them both her world. She just had to let him back in.
“Just start talking. But don’t break my heart again, Steele. I’m feeling a little fragile right about now, terrified for my—our—son, and I don’t think I can take much more.”
He cupped her face and turned it toward him, so she was looking at him over her shoulder. He needed to see her. To look into her emerald eyes. His heart stuttered again. Those eyes of hers, two large gems that held his heart. He could fall into them forever. He remembered all the times he’d laid her out on his bed and moved in her slowly, staring into those eyes. They were large and vividly green, surrounded by the thickest lashes he’d ever seen, lashes that matched the color of her hair.
“I’m not going to hurt you, Bree. I’d shoot myself in the heart before I’d do that again.” He’d sent her away and his life was shit. He’d had one year with her. One perfect year—or as perfect as it could be when he was riding with a perverted, fucked-up club like the Swords. That told him all he needed to know. If she made his life something to look forward to when he was with the scum of the earth, then being with her was far better than being on his own. He just needed to figure it all out. He was intelligent. He was Torpedo Ink’s strategist.
He leaned forward and took her mouth. The moment he did, the sparks were there, arcing between them. The fire poured from her mouth to his. Or maybe it was the other way around. All he knew was that his cock was once more as hard as a rock and she was kissing him back. Really kissing him. Participating. Her tongue chased his and danced and stroked, flame on flame. Velvet on velvet.
He kissed her over and over. Her nipple pebbled in his palm and he couldn’t resist stroking and then tugging. She gasped into his mouth, her body stirring beneath the hot water restlessly. He dropped his hand to slide it down her tummy and curl two fingers into her. That tempting sheath was hotter than her mouth.
Again, it was Steele who pulled back, forcing himself away from that path he took with her. He could—and would—win her back with sex if that was his only resolution, but she deserved explanations, and he wanted more than a one-sided relationship. If she didn’t truly know him, and know why he was so fucked up, the chances of him screwing things up were far more than if he just came clean.
NINE
“The water’s cooling, Bree,” Steele pointed out. “Let’s get out of here and go down to the spa. It’s hot, and I want you to see the ocean from that view.”
“You do know this house would be impossible to clean. Even if we did do this, Steele, we couldn’t live here. It’s beautiful but intimidating. I d
on’t know the first thing about taking care of a mansion.”
“You don’t have to take care of it, baby.” He stood up, pulling her with him. He loved the way the drops of water shimmered on her skin. “We’ll have help come in. Cleaners. We have plenty of social space to have everyone over, and when we throw a party, it will be mostly outdoors where we have the fireplace and barbecue. I’m pretty damned good with a barbecue.”
She just shook her head and took the large towel he handed to her, drying off without a hint of being self-conscious. He’d done that—made her comfortable in her own skin when she was with him. They stepped out of the large, room-size bath, and she looked around for her clothes.
“Leave it. You’re not going to need clothes in the spa. There are extra towels in an outside linen closet. We can grab them if we need them and I can turn on the fireplace out there for additional warmth if you just want to sit outside while we talk.”
She glanced around the bedroom and then nodded. “The fireplace.”
He knew she chose that because she thought she’d be safer. She wasn’t, not from him. Not when his cock was still raging and she was right there, all soft skin and gorgeous body. He liked breasts, and she had them. He particularly loved the shape of her ass and the way she looked walking away from him. She had curves, more since she’d had the baby. He shut down that thought because he didn’t dare think too much about Zane in the hands of the Swords club, not and keep his sanity. He had to concentrate on winning his lady back and making sure Zane had a home and two parents to come back to.
It was still early afternoon and the sun was shining brightly. The fog had burned off. He knew the wind would come in off the ocean, because it often did, but the chairs in front of the outside fireplace were comfortable and the house curved around on either side, providing a good shelter. The patio was enormous, and the area in front of the fireplace was spacious.
He’d thought about barbecues with his brothers and sisters, not parties with other clubs. He didn’t want wild at his house, he was too fucked up for that. Breezy, like him, preferred clean. Neat. She would oversee the house and make certain it was the way he favored because she wanted it the same way.