Waves of fear--not anger--rolled off of him. He didn't even realize he was using his anger, whipping himself into a rage to keep from feeling the terror her disappearance had caused. She felt a shudder go through his body and saw that he was pale beneath his weathered tan; most of all she could see the terror for her behind the icy cold in his smoldering eyes.
"I know, I'm sorry," she said, meeting his gaze steadily, wanting him to know she meant it. "And I'm sorry for scaring you. I'll be more careful, Jack."
He dropped his arms as if she'd burned him, stepped away from her, and shook his head. "Damn you, don't you do that. Don't you look at me like that." He took two more steps away from her. She was looking at him with something far too close to love in her eyes--disarming him, making him feel naked and vulnerable and without an outlet for the terrible fear she'd put in him.
Fear--it tasted like bile in his mouth, churned in his gut until his only recourse was action to remove it. He turned on his heel and left her, heading to the shop and his workout bag, something he could hit until his hands were bloody and he was too damned tired to think anymore.
"Why'd you hit him, Ken?" Briony asked.
"Because he values my life more than his."
"And you don't feel the same about him?"
"I don't have you and the babies. He's got to consider that now before he stands in the line of fire."
"I don't think that's going to change. And I don't understand. It was just an old man," Briony said to Ken. "He shouldn't be so upset."
"Think, Briony, you always have to think. The old man comes here often for food or if he needs medical attention. We know him and we let him on the property. He's not quite right anymore, been living alone too long, but he's a decent man. If Whitney wants to find out where you are, what better way than to use Brady? He wouldn't even know they were using him. Plant a vid camera on him and give him the idea he needs to see us, and they've got their spy in the enemy camp."
Her hand went to her throat. "You don't think they'd actually do that, do you?"
"Whitney's seen our files, Briony. He isn't stupid. Why risk sending his men in without insuring you're here and getting the layout as well? You notice we didn't bring him up to the house? We never bring him up to the house. We feed him meals and give him supplies, but not up at the house--but they wouldn't know that."
"How terrible to live that way. You don't think it's just a tiny bit paranoid?"
"We've taken out targets in nearly every country in the world, Briony, and no matter how top secret our status, our names have leaked out a couple of times in the past. Someone comes for us every now and then. It's our way of life, and if you're going to stay--it has to become your way of life as well."
"And the baby?"
"Babies," he corrected. "They'll learn. We'll teach them."
"That's what he meant when he said I'd be a liability." She looked up at Ken. "He knew someone could use us to go after him, didn't he? If they captured and tortured us, he'd do anything to get us back, wouldn't he?"
"We'll protect you and the children. You couldn't be safer with anyone else. Jack and I both would stand between you and anyone who wanted to harm you."
"But who's watching out for the two of you? I've just brought more danger on both of you in even more ways than I imagined."
"Jack and I are a family. We'll always be family. We'll always look out for each other. If you and the little ones live here, you're part of that family, it's that simple, Briony."
"Are you all right with me being here, disrupting your life, Ken?"
"Hell yes. You make him happy, Briony. I can't remember him happy." A slow smile curved his mouth, but never quite lit up his eyes. "And you can cook. You did make dinner, didn't you?" There was a hopeful note in his voice.
A ghost of a smile to match his slipped through the strain on her face. She couldn't bear for Jack to be angry with her. She hadn't thought about wandering through the woods alone--but she should have. And she certainly hadn't considered that Whitney might use an old, half-mad mountain man for recon--but she'd remember, and it would never slip her mind again. She could learn their ways. She was smart, fast, and strong, and she wanted to belong to Jack.
"I'll put biscuits in the oven, and by the time we clean up, it should be ready." She hesitated. "Are you going to call Jack?"
"No. You are. When you have dinner ready, just call him in. Don't let him brood about this. It happened. It's over."
"I really am sorry, Ken."
"I know, honey. It isn't an easy way to live, and Jack should cut you a little slack, but he's doesn't do scared well--and you scared him."
"I know I did."
Ken dropped his arm around her and walked with her to the house.
"Aren't you afraid he'll get more upset?"
"Because I have my arm around you? He can learn to live with it. If I feel affection toward you, I'm going to show it. Jack's a part of me. He loves you and you make him happy. Believe me, I feel affection for you for that alone, but it isn't sexual and he might as well find out what he can live with and what he can't." He dropped a kiss on her forehead. "It's good for him to see he isn't as bad as he thinks he is."
Briony washed her hands and put the biscuits in the oven. "You were worried about me coming to live with you at first. I could feel it."
Ken shrugged. "Jack is--Jack. There's no telling how he's going to react to anything. This is a completely new situation for us, and honestly--I didn't know how he was going to react. He feels things much deeper than most people, or he doesn't feel at all. It's a difficult trait for him to have to live with."
Briony took a quick shower and dressed in the soft cotton pants and tank top she liked to sleep in, before hurrying back to the kitchen to pull out the biscuits before they burned. It took that long to work up her courage. Dinner's ready, Jack. Come in and eat. She tried not to let her voice shake, tried to sound matter-of-fact, but she knew Jack would know she was upset. She couldn't speak telepathically and not have him know.
Ken sniffed the air appreciatively. "I'm falling madly in love here, Briony."
She forced a smile as she placed the pot of stew in the middle of the table. "I sure hope the woman you end up with knows how to cook."
For a moment his smile slipped, but he recovered fast. "Since we'd all be living here together, you could teach her."
"Lucky me." She heard the door open behind her and knew immediately that Jack had stepped into the room. He'd been working on the heavy bag. She smelled sweat and blood and the tangy masculine scent that sent her hormones into overdrive. She swung around, her gaze jumping to his, her heart pounding in her throat.
"Smells good," Jack commented, his gray eyes watching her closely. He crossed directly to her side, never once looking away.
Jack held her gaze captive. Briony felt mesmerized by him--was mesmerized. Her heart beat so hard she was afraid she might have a heart attack, but she didn't dare lift her hand to press against her chest; she was trembling too hard to hide. He bent his head to hers and brushed her upturned lips. Once--twice. "I'm sorry, baby. I was angrier with myself than with you. I should have given you specific instructions on where you should or shouldn't go. I'm sorry I frightened you." He kissed her again, so gently her heart did a funny little somersault and soft wings brushed the inside of her stomach.
"What did you do to your hands?" She caught his wrists and turned his hands over to inspect his knuckles.
"I'm fine. Let me get cleaned up for dinner."
"I'll do it," Briony said decisively, leading him back to his wing of the house. "Next time you decide to wig out on me, wrap your hands."
"Wig out?" His eyebrow shot up. He wasn't going to admit that there was a certain satisfaction in pounding flesh until it bled. She already had enough to condemn him.
He let her wash and apply antibiotic cream to his wounds, enjoying the way she touched him, her hands gentle and her eyes shy. In the close confines of the bathroom, with her clean s
cent enfolding him, his body zinged out of control, tightening and pulsing, blood engorging his groin. "I'm going to take a quick shower before dinner, and tonight, Ken does the dishes. You need to rest." He'd opt for a cold shower, but he doubted it would do much good.
Briony noticed the baby book was on the bed and bookmarked as she went through the bedroom on her way to the kitchen. Sometime during the day he must have retrieved it from the dresser and had been avidly reading again. She smiled to herself, secretly pleased. She hoped he found all her additional comments enlightening.
The entire time she'd been attending Jack's knuckles, all she could think about was running her hands over his chest, his belly, dipping lower to feel the hard strength of his very evident erection. She loved that she could do that to him, and most of the time she could block out the thought that Dr. Whitney had orchestrated the intensity of the chemistry between them.
She avoided Ken's eyes as she sat down. "Quit smirking."
"I've never heard him apologize. I wanted to record it, just to play back later so I'd know I hadn't lost my mind. He just might really get on his knees and propose," Ken said. "And the biscuits are great by the way. If Jack doesn't get out here soon, I'm eating them all. Every last one." To prove his point he dipped one in gravy.
Briony shook her head. "How did you survive before I was here?"
"I don't know. You're not just an angel, you're a goddess. A woman ought to know how to cook just to qualify to be a woman."
Briony choked on her milk. "And you think your brother is a chauvinist! Really, Ken, I ought to dump all the food in the garbage for that statement. Why haven't you learned to cook?"
"I can cook. I get by; I just don't cook like this," Ken said. "And of course I'm a chauvinist, but it isn't my fault."
"It isn't?"
"No, Jack was born first and I share his genes. I can't help it if he infected me inside the womb."
Briony burst out laughing. "I should have known that would be your excuse."
Jack stood in the doorway, leaning one hip against the jamb, toweling his hair dry while he listened to Briony and Ken bantering back and forth. She sounded happy, easy in her relationship with Ken already. Ken could do that. He genuinely liked people and they liked him. Briony looked past his scars and seemed to see the man Jack saw, the one to be respected and loved. Jack could see that Ken was relaxed and even happy in Briony's company.
Jack examined his feelings closely. Maybe there was a twinge of jealousy, but not because of the shared laughter and the way the two seemed to be growing closer, but because Ken was the better man and she deserved better.
Briony was reaching for the coffeepot when he stepped all the way into the room. "It clearly states no caffeine," Jack said.
Her gaze jumped to his face. "No it doesn't. I read the entire book and it's not in there anywhere. You'll have to read it again."
"You will." He pulled a red marker from his pocket and held it up. "The book is the latest edition, with new and important text."
She flashed a small, shy smile at him at their shared intimacy.
Ken reached for another biscuit, and a knife sliced through the air to bury itself in the table half an inch from his hand.
"Back off, biscuit thief."
Briony rolled her eyes. "Great, Jack. You'd better not be doing that in front of the baby."
"Babies," both men corrected simultaneously.
"Wonderful, surround sound," Briony complained.
Jack pulled the blade from the table and slipped it back into the scabbard at his belt. "She said I wigged out, bro. You ever see me wig out?"
Ken coughed into his napkin, nearly choked, and had to have Jack slap his back. Jack's hand went to his brother's shoulder and squeezed briefly before he sat down.
CHAPTER 15
Briony watched Jack as he padded barefoot around the dark room. He had stayed up late reading, mostly, she was certain, in the hopes that she'd be asleep when he got to bed. Her close proximity had to be just as hard on him as being continually surrounded by his scent was on her. It was hard to lie in his bed and not fantasize about him.
"You should be asleep," he said abruptly, standing over her.
His shoulders looked wide, arms sculpted with defined muscle, and in the darkness she couldn't see the hideous name carved into his chest. He was breathtaking. Her pulse kicked up a notch. "So should you."
He stood for a moment, just looking down at her, almost hesitant. "You took your vitamins today, didn't you?"
He slipped into bed beside her--not under the covers, but on top, giving her a measure of privacy, but no real reprieve from the sexual need clawing at her so sharply. The moonlight caught him for just a moment, and his eyes gleamed silver, ice cold, and devoid of emotion, as if he'd stepped back away from her.
"You've been reading that book again, haven't you?" she accused.
"It's a good book, very informative, especially with all the new additions to it. I think we should find one specifically about carrying twins."
"You're just evil. You know I don't want to think about twins. Every time you mention it, and you've got your brother doing the same thing, I get a stomachache."
His eyes laughed at her. Laughed. Briony's breath caught in her throat. How could eyes so flat and cold and devoid of emotion one moment be warm and bright and move over her with such raw passion the next?
"Jack." She said his name and heard the ache.
He heard it too. She watched his face change, go hard, go blank, the light fading away. He lay back down close to her, but she felt his body tremble.
"Briony." Jack's voice was tight, maybe a little too husky, but he couldn't sound indifferent or casual when he was going to make one last attempt to do the right thing. "I want you to hear me out and really listen to me for once."
Her hand found his in the darkness. Comfort? An offer? Fear? He didn't know, because he wasn't opening his mind to her, not when he knew that what he was going to say would run her off. He wouldn't be able to bear her terror of him, her disgust of him--disgust of the monster he knew himself to be. Her fingers tangled with his, closed around his as if holding him close. He shut his eyes and reached for inner strength. Why was it easier to talk after night closed in?
Briony didn't say anything, but her hand, so tightly holding his, gave him the added strength to try to make her understand. He let out his breath and took the biggest risk of his life. "I'm not a good man, Briony. You keep thinking I am. I don't want you to come to me without knowing what you're getting into. When I go out on a mission and acquire a target, it's simply that to me. Nothing more."
"You've been trained that way, Jack," she said gently.
"No, baby. It's my nature. It's who I am. I escaped the rebel camp, and instead of hightailing it out of there like anyone else would do, I went back and took out as many of them as I could. That's not training, Briony, that's my nature. You aren't someone who likes conflict, and you don't fight with me just for the sake of arguing, but sooner or later you're going to be opposed to my point of view enough to fight with me--and you won't win. You won't. I'll try to see it your way and I'll want to give in, but in the end, if I think your safety or health or something else important to us is compromised, we'll do it my way and you might want to walk out on me."
"Couples fight, Jack. No one gets along all the time, but it doesn't mean they walk out on one another. Look at you and Ken. He's a very strong man and definitely thinks for himself. You must have arguments."
"He knows my triggers and he backs off when we hit one. He accepts me the way I am. Believe me, Briony, if I could, I'd be different."
"What happened today was a stupid mistake on my part, Jack. I put our baby in danger. I didn't mean to, but I should have been thinking. I asked you to teach me. I want to learn. You had a right to be furious with me."
"Babies," he corrected automatically. "You're damned lucky I didn't turn you over my knee. I didn't because you're a grown woman and you'd probably
take a gun and shoot me after, but I swear, Briony, you ever scare me like that again and I'll risk it." He pressed the heel of his hand to his pounding head. "Damn it, I know I would."
Her fingers brushed his face. "You were so afraid for me--for us. Did you think I would blame you for being so angry?"
He could feel her struggling to understand what he was trying to tell her. He sighed. "My father was a very abusive man. He didn't want to just love my mother--he wanted to own her. She belonged to him. She was his possession, and he became more and more jealous of anything or anyone--including her children."
Memories flooded and he tried to hold them off, tried to keep from smelling the blood, Ken's blood, his blood, tried to keep from feeling the beatings, so many of them they all blended together until he couldn't remember not being beat. Broken bones, bruises, swollen faces, and hiding the evidence so no one would know. Moving constantly so no one would ever suspect, so none of them could make friends--so no one ever shared his mother, cared for his mother.
His fingers tightened around hers, his thumb sliding over the back of her hand. "I feel possessive toward you. I don't like anyone else touching you or getting too close."
Briony drew in her breath, frowned, thinking of Ken teasing her, laughing with her, and Jack sitting there looking so relaxed. "Tell me what happened, Jack," Briony encouraged, because he had to get it out, needed to get it out.
"He got worse and worse, to the point where she hid us when he was drunk. He wanted us dead because we took her love away from him, because we took her time. She thought about us, tried to do for us, and God help her, she loved us. He was jealous even of his own children. Eventually she tried to leave him--for us--and he killed her."
"Oh God, Jack. How terrible."
"I walked outside the little shack she'd found for us and saw him standing over her with her blood covering him and the baseball bat in his hands. Ken had come up on him first and was covered in blood. He was still swinging the bat at Ken. Blood was everywhere, all over the ground, smeared on the steps, splashed on the walls, and Ken's arms were broken--both of them." Jack held up his hands. "I don't even know how it got on me--probably when I jumped him to get him off of Ken, but I remember her blood on me, Ken's blood." He shook his head as if to clear his vision. "It was everywhere."