There was a moment of silence. Logan turned away as Jess heaved himself back into his chair. Jess wiped at the blood on his face, his hand lingering to hide his expression. Having walked made sitting in the chair all the more difficult, as if it was the first time all over again. His lungs burned for air and he fought down rising panic. He didn't dare look at Logan. He needed out of there. He needed Saber.
The back door was still open and he thrust at the wheels hard, propelling his chair out onto the porch. It was light outside, and raining hard. The wind felt good on his face, but the tightness in his chest didn't go away. He heard the door of the van slam and looked up.
She came to him out of the rain, water plastering her hair around her face, slicking back the springy curls. Her eyes were enormous, almost purple, her mouth inviting. The sight of her shook him, warmed him, eased the terrible weight in his chest. She had bruises coming up on her face, her cheek was a little swollen, and she walked with a limp, although she was trying to hide it. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on. Her gaze locked with his and his heart somersaulted at the relief there. The shimmer of tears--for him.
"You made it." Her voice was husky, as if she might be choking.
"Was there any doubt?"
She stopped in front of him, swallowed hard and shook her head. "No, of course not. But it's good to see you." She pressed her palm to the cut on his head. "Since we're taking Patsy to the hospital, you can get this looked at."
He didn't tell her he was using an experimental drug for an experimental program and he needed his own doctor, he simply caught her hand and pulled her to him so he could taste her wild, exotic flavor and lose himself in the dark excitement of her soft mouth.
CHAPTER 15
Saber really didn't like Dr. Eric Lambert. He and Lily Whitney-Miller had arrived at the house with Captain Ryland Miller in the evening after things had settled down in order to take care of the cut on Jess. She expected to dislike Lily, knowing the woman knew all about her past, yet it was Lambert who set off her initial alarms.
Unlike Lily, Eric Lambert wasn't a GhostWalker. He might work with them, but he had no firsthand knowledge of what they suffered, what their lives were like. He studied them, and he patched them up when they went down, but the bottom line was, he experimented on them--just as Peter Whitney did.
The GhostWalkers were government assets. Resources. Weapons. They thought of Lambert as their friend, but he thought of them as a top secret arsenal. It was next to impossible to watch him interact with Jess and Lily as if they were his friends and colleagues while listening to his elevated heart rate and smelling his fear every time she got near to him. And it was tempting to get near him. To offer her hand when she knew he was so afraid. And damn Jess for telling Lambert about her abilities.
She stared out the window in Jess's bedroom into the rain, wishing everyone was gone so she could go yell at him. Pick a fight. Make it easy to leave. Lily and Lambert knew. And if they knew, eventually the government would come knocking on the door and expect her to do a little job for them. She'd told Jess it would be like that, but he'd given her up anyway. He was too trusting, thinking everyone was his friend. A big happy family.
Moron. Idiot. Naive. She pushed the heel of her hand hard against her forehead. What is wrong with you?
Saber? Jesse's voice sounded in her mind.
Whoops. She was really distracted to make such an amateur mistake. It was exactly how she'd given herself away in the first place. She was so connected to him, she barely noticed when she reached for him anymore.
Well, you're an ass. You told that slimy little doctor Lambert about me. I told you what would happen once everyone knew. He's a government man. In a couple of weeks we'll be getting a knock on the door and an engraved invitation to some social event where I'll get to use my special talents for the good of mankind.
That's not true, baby. First of all, Eric's not like that and he's not "everyone." Second, I didn't tell him. He doesn't know.
He knows.
There was a small silence while he digested that. Are you certain? You're tired and maybe a bit cranky.
Saber sucked in her breath. Cranky? He thought she was cranky? Her blood pressure was shooting through the roof, she wanted to scream at him, but she forced a calming breath to stay under control. He knows and I'm not cranky, I'm angry. I can fight one enemy, but not several, not all at once. He's government all the way and he'll trade all of us in in a heartbeat if he's given the order.
Frowning, Jess cast a brief look at Eric Lambert. The doctor looked the same as he always did, laughing with Lily, teasing her about how she looked as if she'd swallowed a basketball. Saber didn't know him and she was so worried about anyone finding out about her past. There was no real way Eric could have known. Saber was seeing things where they didn't exist. You're paranoid. And exhausted. Why don't you go to my room and lie down. Eric's sewing up the cut and they'll leave. We'll get some sleep and you'll feel much better.
First I'm cranky and now I'm paranoid? Saber's voice went low. Cold.
Jess winced at the ice in her voice. "Lily, come on. Enough already."
Lily studied the cut on his head, frowning as the blood continued to seep in spite of the hours that had passed since he'd first been injured. "I told you to be careful. We're using Zenith on you and that drug is dangerous."
Eric held up his hands. "I'm going to wash up."
"You know where the bathroom is." Jess waited until he was out of the room. "You assured me that you were going to destroy the file on Saber."
"I did." Lily straightened up, stretching her back out.
"But you told Lambert about her?"
"No, of course not."
"Why of course not?" Jess took the pill she handed him. His head was throbbing. They'd spent most of the morning at the hospital, staying with Patsy while the doctors ran tests and treated her wounds. Once they knew she was in good hands--and he'd put a guard on her door--Jess and Saber had returned home and waited all afternoon for news from the cleanup crew at Patsy's house. Saber still hadn't been to bed and she still intended to go to work. She wasn't--he was going to make certain of that--but she needed sleep desperately and so did he. He just wanted everyone gone so they could be alone and he could hold her.
But Saber was wrong about Eric Lambert knowing the truth about her. Jesse hadn't told him and neither had Lily. He breathed a sigh of relief.
"He isn't one of us." Lily ducked her head. "That sounds terrible, Jess, and I don't mean it that way, but he could never understand our lives. If Saber stays, she's going to have to be protected. Her skills will have everyone after her, even the good guys--especially the good guys. And what Whitney did to her as a child...He forced her to kill animals, animals a little girl would love and want to have for pets. He put her in the position of having to have perfect control or kill a friend--another child--toddlers even. How can a child get over that kind of trauma?"
Jesse was glad to hear Lily refer to her adopted father as "Whitney." She was finally coming to terms with the fact that he was a monster beyond redemption, and she was beginning to distance herself from him emotionally. Jess was certain that was a good thing. "I didn't think about that."
"You wouldn't, Jess--you came from a loving hom
e. Saber wouldn't have known what a mother and father was, not for years. She grew up training. Her life was all about rigid rules and constant learning. What do you think those first few years were like?"
He was ashamed to admit he hadn't given it much thought--at least until he saw the pictures of her childhood.
"It's amazing that she's still here with you, that she could learn to trust anyone as much as she does you. You're probably the first person she's ever confided in, or shared any of the real Saber with."
She was making him feel worse by the moment. He hadn't wanted to think about Saber's trauma, or even acknowledge there was a threat if she stayed with him, because he didn't want to lose her. "She's probably being paranoid, but she thinks Eric knows about her."
Lily went very still. "Jess. Why would you doubt her? She was raised in a world even you can't comprehend. She has to be very sensitive. We haven't even begun to discover what she can do with her abilities. When a GhostWalker 'thinks' something, it's most likely true. Look at you. Until you were in that chair, you hadn't developed your ability to move objects and yet now you're incredibly strong. You 'thought' you might be able to do it and played around a little bit, but because you didn't have time, you didn't bother with it. There're so many others with hidden talents they haven't begun to tap. If Saber says Eric is treating her different, I wouldn't ever think she's paranoid, I'd believe her."
He didn't want to believe her because he didn't want to accept the consequences. Logan knew. For sure, Logan knew. Was it possible that he had told Eric? Jess rubbed his head again. He was too tired to think. "I need to go to bed, Lily."
"I know." Lily packed up her equipment. "How are the bionics coming?"
"It's frustrating. I'm beginning to think we should have gone with a power pack even though that would be limiting. I can't keep function and I sure can't trust it." His frustration and anger were in his voice, but he couldn't help it.
Eric returned, leaning into the doorframe. "Are you visualizing? Using your psychic abilities to rebuild the pathways?"
Jess sent him one smoldering, dangerous look. He wasn't in the mood to be lectured. He'd done enough visualizing to get fifty pair of legs working, and he was still sitting in a chair, taking falls that put stitches in his head, humiliating him in front of his friends and Saber. He wasn't going to take bullshit from anyone, not even a friend.