Wyatt lifted his head to look into her eyes. Definitely confused.
"I don't know. I've never done this. Training involved me doing things to others, not them doing anything to me. I've never felt like this and I don't know what I'm supposed to do now." She sounded lost. Afraid. Vulnerable. "Aren't we finished?"
Because any man she seduced was supposed to die. That was her job. Seduction and assassination. There was no aftermath, no loving arms to be held in.
"No, baby, we're not through yet. We got what we both needed. What we had to have, but I still want to love on you. I need to do that, sugar. It's important to me."
He kissed her eyelids, her temple and smoothed back her hair. "I get to love on you, honey. Just like this. Hold you close to me and let you know how amazin' you are. How much you matter to me. That what we did together wasn' just about sex. It will never be just about sex with you. I don' know what's growin' in me for you, but it's there, Pepper."
She lay beneath him, looking up at him with questions in her eyes. His hand stroked her long hair from her face, his fingers gentle, soothing even.
"I don't understand."
"You deserve tender. Gentle. I can do that now that we've been through the storm of the century." He grinned at her as he leaned down to brush a kiss along her throat. His hand stroked her breast and then he leaned down and flicked her nipple with his tongue before rolling off her to lie on the floor close, his body pressed to hers. "You are incredible, Pepper. My woman. Incredible. How do you feel, sugar? Are you all right?"
Was she? Pepper wasn't certain of anything. She lay very still beside him, wanting to touch each place on her body where he'd kissed her. Where he'd touched her with such gentle fingers. He'd gone from fierce to tender in minutes and the change threw her. Wyatt was... She didn't know.
And then it dawned on her. Her body wasn't hurting. There was no burning. No tension. For the first time she could recall in years, her body was her own. Completely sated. Satisfied. There was no terrible drive for sex. No unwanted hunger she couldn't assuage or stop.
"Oh, my God, Wyatt." She turned to him, her eyes wide with shock. "It's gone." She felt the burn of tears, her only warning and then she was sobbing, breaking down completely, another first for her.
Wyatt immediately gathered her to him, holding her close, cradling her in strong arms, sitting, his back to the wall with her in his lap. He actually rocked her as if she were a child in need of soothing, and at that moment, Pepper had to admit she was. No one had ever been kind to her like Wyatt. Never. She couldn't remember anyone ever holding her or brushing kisses over her temples or down to the corner of her mouth.
"I'm sorry," she managed to blurt out in the middle of the storm of tears.
"Don' be. I'm here. I've got you. I told you to trust me, honey. I'm not goin' anywhere. When it happens again, we know what to do."
He touched her mouth with his finger, and then slid his finger between her lips so that she sucked on it. Extracting it, he put his own finger in his mouth, tasting her. Tasting that addicting spiced honey. His cock twitched. He couldn't lie to her, as much as he wanted this moment for her. She had to know.
"It will come back, Pepper. That need. But I'll be here to take it away for you. Whenever it gets too much, long before it begins to drive you insane, do you understand, babe? Me. I'll do that for you."
Pepper's heart clenched hard. He was right. Sadly. For the moment the terrible need was gone, wiped away by Wyatt, but if he wasn't around... "You can't really tie yourself to me, Wyatt. We both know that. Living with me would be hell. You'd lose all your friends, even family members. You won't always be around. You're a GhostWalker and you have to leave to go on missions. What happens then? What if I have a meltdown and can't take it?"
He ruffled her hair and dropped a kiss on top of her head. "Silly woman. Your man is a fuckin' genius. One of my best friends is even smarter than me. Do you think we can' beat them at their own game? Once I have the children squared away, we're devotin' our time to helpin' you out. We'll find a way to overcome it or at least tone it down so you're not sufferin' every minute of the day without me."
"It's so horrible, Wyatt. Once it starts the hunger builds every day and I can't think. I can barely eat anything. How can you keep up with that?"
He laughed softly. "Seriously, babe? I'm a GhostWalker. I guess I'll just have to do my duty."
"It's not funny." But there was a faint smile in her voice.
"It's occurred to me that if I get you pregnant, the cycle will stop for the duration. If that's so, every time I have to leave, you'd better be prepared to have a baby. We might end up with a dozen little ones runnin' around, but I'll know you're not steppin' out on me." He was half serious. He'd given it a lot of thought and it would make sense that if she got pregnant the biochemical might not be able to move through her so quickly.
"A dozen? Children? Are you crazy?"
"I'm Cajun, babe. Of course I'm crazy." He looked down at her face. "Are you okay now? I didn't hurt you, did I?"
She moistened her lips. "I'll be a little sore, but in a nice way. Thank you, Wyatt. For understanding and trying to help me. No one's ever done anything like this for me."
He didn't like a certain note in her voice. A hesitation. A kind of embarrassment. "What we did together is a good thing, Pepper," he said, trying to understand what was going through her head.
She took a deep breath and let it out, shaking her head and then subsiding against his chest, her head tucked down so her hair fell around her face.
"No, honey. You're not hidin' from me. From us. We talk things out. That's how we're goin' to make this work. I know you're not used to a partner, but that's what we're formin' here. A partnership. You tell me when somethin's not right. Or when you're upset. I'll do the same. We have to be honest with one another."
Pepper kept her head down, her mind racing. Wyatt made her want the life he was tempting her with so much she couldn't breathe. He didn't know how truly bad it would get with other men wanting her when her guard came down, or the women despising her for being around their men. But she wanted him to be her ma
n. The moment he'd used those words, a thrill had gone through her.
"Put your eyes on mine, sugar. Right now."
She even loved the way he could go from an easygoing Cajun charm to a commanding arrogance that sent shivers of need through her body. She had never wanted to please a man before, but she wanted to please him. She wanted to belong to him. She wanted his body and his mind and his protection. Most of all, she wanted him to love her. She had never considered being loved by anyone until she met him. But to confess that to him...
She shook her head before she could stop herself, a metallic taste of defeat in her mouth.
Wyatt caught her chin in a firm grip and lifted it, forcing her head up. "Say it." His voice was rough, but his eyes were gentle. Tender even.
"I don't want you to want me for sex." She blurted it out in a little rush. "I don't understand how all of my training failed. I didn't realize how truly flawed I really am. The one thing I'm supposed to be good at, controlling a man through sex, just went straight out the window. You were in control, not me. And still, I don't want you to stay with me because of..." She broke off and waved one hand down their naked bodies.
"Because the sex was better than either of us ever imagined or thought possible?" he finished for her. He bent his head to hers and brushed a gentle kiss across her mouth. "You're really fucked up, aren't you, babe? They did a real number on you. The sex is off the charts and I'd be a fool not to want that every day of my life. That's all you, sugar. Not their damn enhancements. I have three little girls who desperately need a mother who will fight for them alongside of me and protect and love them. That's you. I need a woman who can put up with my jealous, arrogant, demandin' nature and love me anyway. That's you too. I like holdin' you in my arms and feelin' you in my bed. I like listenin' to you laughin' and touchin' your skin. I like knowin' you're goin' to be wet for me and that anytime I want you, that you're goin' to want me right then, at that moment."
She swallowed hard, his words penetrating through her brain and finding their way to her heart. It hurt, an actual physical pain in her heart to hear him talk like that - to her - about her. Did she dare take a chance? She'd be risking so much more than he realized. She'd be risking him. Wyatt.