More Than Him

Chapter FourLailaniOne Week LaterUgh. This baby is already giving me a hard time. Every morning for the past few days I have been running to the toilet leaning over it. Luckily, nothing has been coming out, but I guess the point is to let me know I am no longer in charge. “Blip, I thought we had an understanding. I take care of you and you be good.” I rub my stomach and begin getting dressed for the morning. The past week has been good. I got the hang of the job and am now taking on my own two floors. I work six-hour day and the rest of the day is for me. I have begun researching information on scholarships and different programs. Today, after my shift, I have an appointment with Gladys from the library. She works in the community department and I was told she is the person to talk to if you need information on resources. Bzzz. Bzzz. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I look at it but I don’t need to. For the last few months, Phillipa has been calling me, begging me to tell her where I am. It’s not that I don’t want my best friend to know where to find me, I don’t want her in the middle. The less information she knows, then she is not betraying her husband by keeping secrets from him. I would never do anything to put my friend in a situation. “Hi bestie. How is the growing belly?” I try to always keep the conversation light and make it about her, but it never works. She is more than determined and stubborn.

“The belly is fine. Not getting big yet, thank goodness. How is yours?”

“Making itself known now and not the most appealing way.” I say scowling as the memory of me over the toilet not even thirty minutes ago.

“How is work going?” she asks. This is how she builds up to the location.

“I am still learning the ropes, but it is fine. I am excited though that I have an appointment with the lady that runs the community center at the library. She is going to give me information on scholarships and programs to help single moms who are trying to go to school.”

“That is amazing, Lani. I just… I don’t understand why you just won’t come back home. Cord and I will be more than happy to help you anyway you can. We would even do our best to keep Dun away from you if it is what you want. Just come home.” This is why I love her. Loyalty has always been at the top of the list for us.

“I love you, Phillipa, but no, you know I cannot do that.”

“Fine...at least tell me where you are.” See persistent.

“You know I am not going to do that. But I love you.” I hear her sigh and her voice get emotional. I feel horrible, but I have to do this on my own.

“I love you too. I am here if you need me, Lani.”

“I know and that is more than enough.” Hanging up, it takes me a second to get myself together, before I finally get dressed and out the door. The walk to the library is not too long but long enough for me to once again go over everything in my mind. The difference between the other times I have done it and this one, is that now, I have some direction. Some hope. A plan. Opening the library door, I am immediately filled with warmth. Something about being surrounded by books is comforting. “Hi, my name is Lailani Moore. I have an appointment with Gladys.” I say once I make it to the desk.

“Yes, please. Hold on a moment.” She walks away from the desk. I walk around for a while, looking at things.

“Miss Moore?”

“Yes. hello. Thank you so much for meeting with me today.”

“It’s a pleasure. Please, follow me. So, tell me what you are looking for by way of assistance?”

“Well, I am going to be a single mom once this little blip is born and I just want to be ready to provide a life for us. I want to be able to do more than just survive.” I think that is the first time I have expressed that out loud to anyone.

“Well darling, I will certainly do my best. Any ideas on what you want to go into?” This is the question I have asked myself over and over. I know what I used to want to do, but now, in this situation I have found myself in, I have a bit more direction.

“Yes, I would like to be a caseworker. I believe I could be of some help to those in need.”

“That is an excellent idea and admirable profession. It just so happens we have quite a few scholarships available and some classes opening up next month actually at the local community college. Would you like to sign up for a meeting with the advisor?”