More Than Him

“Hi. How are you? How is everything?”

“Everything is great. Just got done from taking this test for school. Decided to take a walk through the park before going back to nap.”

“I bet. Being pregnant is really draining.” she replies laughing.

“Girl, no shit.” I say leaning back on the park bench. “Speaking of bellies, how's yours?”

“She is fine, busy. I swear it's like she is taking an aerobics class in there.” she groans. But I can also hear the happiness. “Have you started feeling anything yet?” I smile, looking down at the little pouch.

“Yes. I can feel him moving around in there. I think it is finally becoming more than flutters. I was getting out of the shower the other day and I swear I saw a little movement when I was looking in the mirror.”

“Wait...did you say he? You're having a boy!” she screams in my ear. “That is so wonderful, Lani. OMG!” I shake my head, giggling. “Will you please tell me where you are. His auntie would like to mail him something.” Her calling herself his auntie almost made me cry.

“Phillipa…”

“No. Stop it. It has been long enough. Tell me something Lani.” I sigh knowing she is right. How long can I keep this up? However, I am not ready to give her everything. So, I give her something basic.

“Fine. I am in Tennessee. That is all I am willing to tell you right now. Okay?”

“Fine,” she sulks. “For now.”

“Alright, well I need to sleep. I love you,” I tell her as I am putting my key into the lock.

“I love you too, Lani. I am here if you need me.”

“I know.” We hang up and I lay in the bed realizing I didn’t make her promise not to tell him. It’s probably because I really hope she does.Chapter SixLailaniUgh. Rolling over I see the sun is out and all I want to do is rollover and go back to sleep. I had a hard time sleeping last night and now it seems I am going to have an even harder time waking up. Yesterday after I finished speaking with Phillipa, I napped like I said I would but when I got up, I still felt restless and tired. I ate, studied, talked to some coworkers, and read a bit, but nothing worked. I was unsettled. Then it hit me, now that Phillipa has the state I am in, if he wanted to find me, a min with his resources could. The thing that kept me...tossing and turning, was if he would even look. Would he come for me? Does he even care? I know Phillipa says he asks about me and if she knows where I am all the time, but does he really care? Or is he just saving face in front of them? The biggest question is, what would I do if he did show up?

I don’t know how much time I spend staring out of the window, but when I look at my clock I groan once again. Today is one of my busier days. On Monday and Thursdays, I work from eight to ten, class from ten thirty to one, work from two to four, class again from five to seven, then eat and sleep. Yes, I know. I am crazy, but I am also determined and as tired as I am, I am finally working toward my goal. Ok. Time to get up. Pushing myself, I go do my morning routine, put on my uniform, and walk downstairs. I giggle as I was through the lobby, little peanut fussing at me to feed him. “Come on little man, let’s go eat.”

Work goes by pretty fast, and so does the first class. When I get back to the room to change back into my uniform, I note there is a note from Flora telling me Sherry needed the extra shift and since she knew today was my busy day, she gave my second shift to her. If it were any other day, I would be disappointed, but today, it is perfect. Having a bit more time, I go downstairs for lunch and decide I am going to take advantage of the situation and have a midday nap. Hopefully, I can think of something that won’t keep me up. Setting my alarm, I lay down and pass out.

“Mmm. Good morning baby,” he says kissing the side of my neck.

“Good morning,” I reply turning over on my back to look in his eyes. I love morning best, when we have been cocooned together all night after hours of lovemaking, only to wake up and the euphoria hasn’t worn off. When I wake up in his arms in the morning and see the adoration and love in his eyes, I can’t help, but feel warm and safe.