“Yes,” I say. No hesitation or regret. “I love you.”
I don’t have a chance to say it again before he captures my lips with his.12CalebI’m shaking with both adrenaline and exhaustion from the panic I felt and some of the most intimate, satisfying sex that I’ve ever had. Not to mention the fact that Ally she said that she loves me.
The words bring up unexpected emotions. The words that I’ve heard so few times from anyone. It’s like a dream after thinking the same thing, but I’m still overwhelmed by everything.
“I don’t know what I thought,” I say. “When I came upstairs and the bedroom was empty, I’ll admit that I panicked. Just… my mind went into overdrive.”
Her face goes blank for a moment. “I was trying for some distance. After … ”
“After what?”
Ally blushes a perfect, delicate pink. “After me mentioning that we hadn’t been seen together. You went stiff and cold and … I thought that you might have been embarrassed. Of us. Of me. And that if you were embarrassed, then you couldn’t possibly feel what I was feeling. And that it would be better to just get some distance now, rather than letting things go too far.”
I open my mouth to refute her, but she holds a finger to my lips exactly like I did on that first day. “No,” she says, gently smiling. She’s aware of the role reversal as well. “I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I thought that it would be easier this way. But after that…I don’t care. I don’t know if you’re in the same place that I am, or if you ever will be. We’re really different people, but I just want you to know that I’m going to make the most of every moment that I have with you. No matter how it ends.”
She bites her lip, and her fingers flex on my arms. No matter how confident she sounds, admitting this makes her nervous. “Am I allowed to talk now?”
“Yes,” Ally nods.
“Good.” I kiss her hard before pressing my forehead against hers. “I don’t know how you could ever think that I would be embarrassed of you.”
“I don’t know, I just …”
“I’m just a possessive bastard,” I say, laughing softly. “I like this little bubble we have, here in the house. I guess I just didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to share you. I fell into this little life we created so deeply that I completely forgot that we were supposed to be going out at all and putting on a show. Because this has felt so real, Ally. But I do want to go out with you. I want to do everything with you, Ally. I’ll take you to concerts and restaurants. The fancy ones and the holes in the wall that only locals know about. I don’t give a fuck about where we go, as long as I’m with you.”
Running her fingers through my hair, she searches my face. “You had such a bad reaction. What was it about?”
I sigh. I don’t want to talk about my family, but Ally is it for me. And if I really believe that—and I do—then she’s needs to know everything.
“I was thinking about my family. You’re going to hate them. They’re exactly the rich, entitled snobs that you think they are, Ally. Exactly who you thought I was when we met. And they’re not exactly going to like you either. It’s not going to be easy. They’re going to judge you, and I was afraid that you’d meet them and think that I was pretending. That I was really just like them, and that you’d go back to thinking that I was just the entitled rich boy. And that would be the thing that made you leave.
“For what it’s worth,” I say, “I’m hoping I’m wrong. And I’m hoping that they’ll love you.”
She grins. “I hope that too, but it’s okay if they don’t. I didn’t marry them. I married you. And you said you don’t exactly have plans to see them that often.”
I laugh. “No, not if I can help it. Probably once a year to make sure my mom is okay. I’ll keep trying to convince her that there’s something better out there for her and that she doesn’t have to stay. I have no idea if she’ll ever listen.”
Ally pulls my head down on her chest. “I’m sorry. I know that’s hard. That it hurts.”
There’s a flash of pain in my chest. Both for me and for her. “At least she’s alive,” I whisper, slipping my hands underneath her body so that I’m fully wrapped around her. “I’m lucky there.”
“Yeah.”
I hear grief in the single word, and resignation. It’s old pain, one that she’s come to terms with. But old wounds can still hurt. I should know.