Stupid.I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to watching these boys play.
It’s pure heart and natural ability. They’re born athletes, but it’s their dedication to the sport that makes them shine above the others.
Every shift of their feet counts, every twist of their body is purposeful.
Everyone feels it, the passion behind the grind seeping from each of them.
It’s the end of practice and the last few shots are being taken in the mock game the key players have going, and the others around stop mid drills to watch Maddoc fly down the court like he’s running freely, as if he doesn’t even have to focus on the ball that’s effortlessly and consistently bouncing against the old gravel. One of his teammates attempt to guard, but Maddoc spins and overheads the ball to Captain who wastes not a second to shoot, purposely a little to the left as the defender pushes off from the right, and Royce hops up for the assist.
Swish.
Everyone claps and the team starts doing their little wolf calls as they form a tight circle to call break.
I grin and push to my feet, heading back for the parking lot to wait while they have their end of practice pep talk.
I lean against the bumper and close my eyes for a minute, letting the sun beat down on my face. It’s cold, being December, but the sun is out and soon it’ll be gone. I can’t help but feel like all this will be too.
A car door slams and my eyes pop open to find Leo standing there, glaring my way.
“I won’t let you cause problems for them.”
“For them, or for you?” I tilt my head considering him. “I honestly can’t tell what your angle is, Leo. I’m not even sure you’re a bad guy, to be honest. But let me tell you what I do know. You’re attempting to manipulate your ‘friends,’ and they won’t be thanking you for it in the end. If you have legit concerns about me, go straight to the guys and make them listen to what you have to say. Be honest. Don’t be sneaky. You know as well as I do, they won’t put up with that.”
He grins with his teeth together. “Fuck you.”
“You’re trying, but in the end the only one you’ll be fucking is yourself.”
He glares hard before dropping his stare to the ground and moving for the driver’s seat, and imagine that, Maddoc steps up in the next second.
He looks from where the car Leo’s sitting in, to me expectantly.
“He’s got a problem with me.”
“It’s called blue balls, RaeRae,” Royce teases, stepping around Maddoc and ushers me out of the way so he can lift the hatch and put his shit inside. “Trust me, I know how they feel at the hands of you.”
“Shut the fuck up, man,” Maddoc snaps and shoves his laughing brother away, refocusing on me. “What’d he say?”
I roll my eyes. “Not that it’s a big deal, but he said he won’t let me fuck shit up for you guys.”
“The fuck’s he think he can do about it if you did?”
“Guess you’ll have to ask him.”
I step around Maddoc and climb inside the SUV and close my eyes.
Leo’s trippin’ if he thinks I’m more than the girl giving these boys the female presence they so desperately crave.
Someone for Captain to care for, someone for Royce to worry about, someone for Maddoc to protect.
Eventually, maybe this week, maybe next year, one of them will meet a person who matters, and she’ll come in to take over for me, not that I’ll be here that long. But either way, she’ll belong like I never could.
The fact of the matter is if I never went home, my mother would be fine. If I left tomorrow, the boys would be fine. If I never came back, Maddoc ... he’d be fine.
A nasty little ache forms in my chest as I’m slammed with realization, it climbs up my throat, trying to choke me with my own self-honesty.
They’d all be fine ... but I wouldn’t.“Hurry up,” Maddoc tells me as Captain puts the SUV in park.
Once in the department store and grabbing my necessities, I take a couple minutes to go through the five-dollar bin of DVDs. I find one I’ve heard of but never seen and head for the munchies aisle, spotting Bass.
“Hey.” I walk toward him, checking out his stash of snacks he’s got in his hands, choosing Bottle Caps and caramel corn for me.
He does a double take and then focuses back on the candy boxes stacked in front of him. The way his features go rigid has me squaring my shoulders.
“Something on your mind, Bishop?”
With a low curse, he turns toward me. The reserved look in his eye has me masking my unease.
“Look, I decided not to say shit after since you were shacking up with the Brays, but I think you should still know.”