I sigh, staring at the small bubbles in the water as the steady flow creeps over the small rocks beneath the bridge.
Rolland told me she liked it here, that they would sit out on the balcony of the Bray cabin and listen to the water run.
There’s no comfort in the words he gives and bringing what was left of her here, pouring them into the water, it means little to me. I can’t forget eighteen years of what she was, but I could at least leave her in a place that wasn’t tainted. I can’t say if she deserves it, but I know all about getting things you don’t deserve.
“I’ve gotta admit.” I cut my eyes to him. “Out of all the things that surprised the hell out of me the last few months, this right here takes the cake.”
Collins gives a light laugh, looking out at the water as he slowly pours his mother’s ashes out.
“I tried to get her to live,” I admit after a minute. “Your mom wouldn’t hear me.”
He nods. “Yeah, she uh... she wasn’t really alive as it was.” He looks off. “I lost her to depression a long time ago. She had to be a cold statue around Donley so much, I think she forgot who she even was. Me following his orders later didn’t exactly help her heal either.”
“We’re orphans.”
“Can you be an orphan if you’re over eighteen?”
I shrug.
After a minute, he pushes off the railing and faces the opposite end of the creek.
“It’s a little pathetic to admit, but I feel free for the first time, I get to make my own choices for once.”
“What do you even want, Collins?”
He hesitates a minute before nodding and meeting my eyes. “To leave this place, start over somewhere new.”
“You can’t run from who you are, I learned that the hard way.”
“But who am I, Raven?” he asks, hopelessness in his tone that has me looking away.
“Where will you go?”
“Anywhere,” he admits. He sticks his hands in his pockets, holding up a pair of keys. “To the cabin and the house.”
“You might come back.”
He shakes his head. “I won’t, and besides that, they’re yours. Not mine. So is the money in my trust fund.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Your parents went through a lot, and all they got for it was you and money. It’s yours, Collins. You’ll take it.”
He stares at me a minute before a slow smirk finds his lips. “Man.” He smiles. “Raven Carver, an honest to God, unicorn.”
A light laugh leaves me, and I head back for the cabins, but he doesn’t budge.
I meet his eyes once more.
“I’m going to say goodbye, quietly, and then I’m going to leave just as quiet.”
I nod.
“Good luck, Raven,” he says earnestly. “And thank you. You didn’t have to save her corpse or tell me what happened or anything you’ve done along the way. You really didn’t have to allow me to come here today for this.”
“Last thing I wanted was to see you on my wedding day,” I say teasingly, even though we both know it’s true. “But I wanted it done.”
He nods, understanding. I think he wanted it finished too.
“I hope this place brings you everything you need,” he tells me.
My eyes slide to the balcony behind us and the man standing at the foot of it, watching. “It already has.”
Maddoc’s eyes keep mine as he makes his way down the stairs, so I wait right here, allowing him to come to me like he wants.
He steps against me, his eyes full of so many things, none that have to be said out loud, at least not yet.
Maddoc looks over my shoulders. “You helped Captain leak the information to Donley about him being shot. That leads to the meeting being called and all of us standing here after.”
“It was the least I could do,” Collins responds.
“You didn’t have to do anything. The Graven I knew you to be wouldn’t have considered helping us in any way.”
I grin against Maddoc’s chest. That’s the closest to a thank you he’ll ever give Collins.
Good job, Big Man.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for all the shit I did. I’m leaving, you won’t hear a sound from me ever again.”
Maddoc’s muscles tense a moment, and then he says, “It’s not worth shit, but knowing you’ll be far away from her helps.”
A light laugh leaves Collins, and I look up to Maddoc right as his eyes come down to me.
Without another word spoken, Maddoc leads me up the small hill, and toward the front of the cabin.
His arms wrap around me and he buries his head in my neck, breathing me in, his deep exhale the most calming thing I’ve ever felt.
The creak of the old wooden deck has him slowly pulling away, and spinning to stand at my back, his arms still locked around me, palms flat against my stomach.