Asshole.
Donley tried to demand Maddoc be forced from his home until after the marriage, when we’d be expected to live on the Graven Estate, but I refused to allow that and agreed we’d stay away. Donley was pleased, so now we’re on our way to a hotel suite, where we’re to live until the party pad is gutted and prepared for us, unless the wedding comes first.
I’m almost relieved. I can’t imagine facing Maddoc right now and having to pretend we were able to wash away all we are with a simple signature.
A bitter laugh leaves me.
Relieved.
I must be sick to be feeling anything of the sort right now.
I should be flipping the fuck out, breaking windows and shattering the chilled champagne in here against the doors. I should be plotting Donley’s slow and painful death or maybe taking it out on Captain for making this happen.
I roll my eyes at myself.
Again, I’m pathetic. I can’t even find it in me to hate him right now, like a normal person in my shoes would.
He stole my choice, defending me when I didn’t want him to.
Didn’t I do the same?
I went off, offered me for his daughter like he offered himself for me?
But those are his brothers. His loyalty should have been with them over me, no matter fucking what.
A sad chuckle leaves him, and my eyes reluctantly slide his way.
“Come on, Raven. You know them better than that.” His eyes slowly meet mine. “If they knew I had a way to protect you and didn’t, regardless of where it left them, they’d hate me for it.”
“Who says I won’t hate you for this?”
His brows pull in and he lets out a deep exhale.
“You might,” he whispers, pausing a minute before he says, “But you’ll forgive me with time. They wouldn’t.”
“Is that why you did it, Cap? So they wouldn’t hate you?” It’s a good enough reason.
“No, Raven,” he murmurs. “I did it because you deserve more than this place has given you.”
I shake my head against the seat, looking away.
He’s wrong. This place gave me everything I never had, a family, people to care for. A purpose.
Am I pissed right now? Fuck, yeah, but at the world, not him. How could I be? He only did what his brothers would, what he felt was right, but that doesn’t mean this will be easy in any way, and I can’t promise I won’t ruin everything.
“I could never love you more than him,” I say, watching the trees fly by outside my window. “And I’ll never stop wanting him.”
“I know,” he rasps. “I can live with that.”
I shake my head. “You shouldn’t have to, Captain, that’s my point. You’re worth way more than what you’re getting in me. A thousand times more.”
“I lost nothing today, Raven. I’ve loved someone before, or I think I have. She fucked me over. You won’t. I can make you happy. I know who you are, and I know I can love you like you deserve. It won’t be the same for you, but you will feel it. You will smile and laugh, and sometimes you’ll even feel guilty for it just like I will. All that’s okay and expected. I didn’t stand there and ask for your life for sport. It might be a slow start, but it will be a strong finish.”
The weak in me comes back in the form of moisture stricken eyes and his hand slides into mine.
He squeezes. “Trust me.”
That’s the thing. My world is fucked, I was more or less pushed into this when I thought the day would end much differently. He was sneaky and knew, in the end, only one answer would do. Still... I trust him with my life, and it seems that’s the entire point. It’s his now.
I nod. “I do.”
The rest of the drive goes by in silence.
“You can stop pretending to be asleep now,” Cap says quietly as the car rolls to a stop. “We’re here.”
I open my eyes and step from the car when the door is pulled open for me. I glare at the smirky bastard and move up the steps, Captain falling in line beside me.
A man meets us at the desk, handing us a room key without a word, and the two of us head for the private elevator.
Of course, it’s an over the top suite with gold shit everywhere.
Captain picks up the note from the entrance table. He shakes his head, tossing it to the floor. “Food will be up in fifteen minutes, and they had clothes and shit put in the drawers and closet.”
I nod, moving to grab something so I can shower.
Escape a minute.
I tug open the drawer, an instant frown taking over.
For fuck’s sake.
Lace after lace. I pull open the closet. Dresses, glittery, long ones.
“Are they shitting me?” I tug them from their hangers, dropping them to the floor.