“Great. Go ahead of me. Maybe the cougars and bears will eat you and not me then.”
Raiden grins, nonplussed by the daunting wildlife probably camping out in there.
“Spiders and snakes too,” I add.
“I’ll be sure to scream if I see anything so you can run for it. That way, if they get me, you can tell the whole world how I thoughtfully and selflessly sacrificed myself for you.”
“Ugh. Do you ever shut up?” I rock back on my heels. I’m wearing runners that I purchased just for this trip. I was ready to do some serious walking and thinking, and now Raiden’s messed all that up. Kind of like how he’s been messing with my mind since the takeover.
Every time I think I’m prepared to encounter him, he proves me wrong.
Kind of like now. My palms are soaking wet, my heart is about to slam its way out of my chest and go running down the trail I’m debating about not even taking, and my va-jay is more enthusiastic than she has been in years. Or maybe ever. I’m starting to think parts of me are broken, meaning the lady parts, my hormonal parts. And whatever parts in my brain responsible for getting my wires crossed and awakening some very unwanted sensations that I can’t seem to control or stop.
I think going to the cabin, plugging my headphones into my phone, and putting on some classical music would help me relax, and that way, I wouldn’t have to deal with Raiden. I could lock him out of the cabin.
But I can’t lock him out of my head.
Freaking potato.
“There’s a team-building exercise in two days.”
“I know,” I snap too quickly. My voice is so shrill that it scares a black-looking bird out of a tree further up the trail.
“They’re doing a fishing derby.”
“I know.”
“You’re going to be paired up with me.”
“Great!” I stomp my foot to work out some of my building frustration—frustration that’s all bad but not all anger based. Now I’m thinking about all the ways I could be paired up with Raiden, and some are pretty imaginative. So yes, it makes me very frustrated. I’m also getting pissed because I just want to go for a walk without him.
Or maybe I don’t want that at all—not really—which is also very frustrating.
Maybe it would be easier to say that everything to do with Raiden is just extremely aggravating.
“I’ll prepare myself to lose. If I were paired up with someone other than you, I think I’d have a chance.”
“Ouch.” Raiden slams his hand over his chest. “Right here, Zoey Zo Zo. You got me right here.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“The guides will do all the work. They’ll teach us everything we need to know and put us right on the fish, and they’ll also supply all the gear.”
“Maybe I won’t give them my information for the fishing clearance tomorrow. Then I don’t have to take part.”
“You can still come on the boat ride either way.”
“You know, I’m really starting to dislike you.”
“That’s too bad. I’m having a great time.”
“Ha! You couldn’t go without technology for a day!”
“Oh, really?” Raiden pulls his phone from his back pocket. Before I have a chance to say anything, he arches his arm back and throws it as hard as he can—and Raiden is seriously still very athletic—into the trees along the trail.
“Why would you do that!” I gasp. “You…you’re…that was seriously stupid! That doesn’t prove anything other than you have no regard for money because you make so much of it now, you don’t even have to work to earn it.”
I don’t wait for a response. I’m sure Raiden would love to remind me that he grew up with nothing, the same as me, and made it big. It’s the typical rags to riches, American Dream kind of story everyone loves to hear. Everyone but me. Right now, I just want to get on with my walk. I take off, leaving Raiden behind me. I tell myself that I hope he’s not following me, but I know it’s a lie.
The truth is, I’m kind of scared to walk alone. I mouthed off so much about the wild animals and bugs and everything that I’m now afraid of seeing a bear or getting bitten by a snake or something. Knowing Raiden is back there, far enough that I can’t see him and can barely hear him, makes me feel oddly and stupidly comforted even though he wouldn’t be able to protect me from a bear or a snake, and the best he could do is carry my lifeless body back to camp. It’s not exactly a comforting thought.
But still. I just feel… Way more okay than I should.
And way more excited than I should be. My heart rate has only increased, and now all of me is getting damp because I’m setting a pace fast enough to power walk my hips right off my body. I take a few turns when the path twists and veers off. It does the same thing far more frequently, and I twist and turn with it. I’ve got my head metaphorically so far up my butthole that I don’t even stop to think about how I’m lost until I stop dead in the middle of the trail.