“I know.” He pulled me close and gave me a final kiss before he released me. “Don’t ever feel bad that you can’t spend more time with me. You’re worth all the time apart, worth all the lonely lights, and I don’t ever wish I could replace you with someone else. I don’t ever miss my previous life. A little bit of you is better than all of someone else.”9DerekI finished the lecture then turned to the class, silently asking them to lob questions at me because I chose to spend my office hours in the classroom rather than my office at the university. I didn’t even use it…not once. With my arms crossed over my chest, I stared at them.
They looked through their papers before someone fired off a question.
“What are you working on now, Dr. Hamilton?” Jeremy asked from the second row, one of my brightest students.
“We’re here for you. Not me.” I moved to the front of the desk and leaned against it, my arms still crossed over my chest. It was getting later in the season, so now I wore warm clothes all the time, usually sweaters and jeans. Most other professors wore blazers and sweater vests, but I wouldn’t change for a stupid dress code. I didn’t need the wardrobe distinction to keep the authority in the classroom. “But since no one else has a question yet…” I glanced at Emerson, who sat in the corner of the first row, working on things while looking at me on and off, always a smile on her lips when we made eye contact. She was in high-waisted jeans, brown boots, and a white sweater with a brown belt…looking gorgeous as always. Other than the faded scars on her stomach, it was hard to believe she’d given birth to someone. Her figure was fit and tight…and her body definitely didn’t feel like she’d given life. “I completed a rocket design, and once it’s completed and tested, it’ll be transferred to NASA. I recently started a project on a new rover that should be deployed to Mars within a year. Satellite images have shown pools where water is located under the surface, and we need a device that can allow us to reach the area and collect samples. So now, we’re trying to design something with those capabilities. It’s been a bit of a head-scratcher so far.” The only reason I brought up the issue was to inspire them further, to show them how education could be applied to do remarkable things. It was something I hadn’t valued before, until Emerson convinced me of the implications.
They were all quiet, but the looks on their faces showed how excited they were.
“Can we see what you have so far?” Jeremy asked.
Brad raised his hand but spoke out of turn anyway. “Can we help or contribute at all?”
“Can we see the rocket when it’s built?” another asked.
My eyes shifted around the room as they asked questions, but I didn’t answer any of them until they quieted down. “I have never taken interns. I’ve made that clear.” My time was already stretched so thin that I simply didn’t have the resources to mentor someone, and I couldn’t ask my engineers to do that either. We had shit to do, despite the program Emerson was developing after my TED Talk. “But the rocket should be completed within a few months. I’ll invite you guys to take a look at it and witness the test launch.”
“Awesome.” Jeremy turned to Todd beside him, and they talked excitedly together. The other students did the same.
I watched them and waited for their voices to quiet down. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. You won’t be able to work on these kinds of projects until your education is completed, so I suggest you ask your questions and make sure you’re as prepared as possible.”At the end of the day, we drove to my penthouse.
I was supposed to tutor Lizzie in a few hours.
My heart rate had been a bit high all day, and even when I thought about something else, it was always there, sitting in the back of my mind. I’d just taught a classroom full of students that afternoon, and I told myself that it was the same situation…just with a younger student.
That was all.
Ronnie pulled up to the curb so I could get out.
Emerson’s hand moved to mine. “Don’t stress about it. She’s a great kid.”
I turned back to her and stared for a while. “Yes. But she’s your kid…so I’m a bit nervous.”
“It’ll be fine. She’s easygoing.”
“I’m not worried about that. I’m just worried she won’t like me.”
“She will, Derek.”
“And if she doesn’t?” I didn’t see how this could work if her daughter didn’t like me. Emerson’s devotion was to her daughter, and if the two of us couldn’t get along, it would never work…and I would lose her.