My body felt like it was in a constant state of shock. Like some body part was bound to fly off the hinges next time I tried to sprint.
I sank into the icy bath. I’d become about as used to ice baths as a person probably could. Reflexively, my chest contracted and squeezed a shaky breath out of my lungs as the water crushed in on me. But after a few seconds, the pulsing ache in my muscles numbed and the cramps subsided.
I dried off my hand and held up my phone to check my texts.
Zoe: Dead Ringers at eight tonight? Clint is going to be there.
She added a bunch of kissy emojis and hearts after that last part. I grinned, then tapped out a response letting her know I’d come.
Clint: Will I see you there?
I smiled even wider at his text. Clint had started coming to track practice after he finished with swim, which usually wrapped up about half an hour before us. I hadn’t quite believed it at first, but he very much seemed to be interested in me.
I wasn’t sure why, but some part of me kept fighting the idea of letting that be a reality—like I was too scared to accept something good and simple.
But coming back to Silver Falls had been good, hadn’t it? With the exception of Cassian, things were good. I had teammates, friends, and I was so busy that my dad felt like an afterthought. If I wasn’t home, he couldn’t harass me. And most nights, he was asleep by the time I finally came in to do homework or study.
Even Cassian had been eerily absent. For a few days, it felt like I was his complete focus. Now, though? Aside from a few chance encounters in the halls or a menacing look here and there, I had hardly seen him. The only reliable place I saw him was on the football field while I was at track practice. I’d hear the low, boyish whoops when he made a play. And I’d guiltily sneak a look when he stripped out of his pads and shirt to walk to the locker room with the rest of the guys at the end.
I’d also confirmed the scar on his back had not been my imagination. I thought about asking Zoe if she knew what had happened to him, but all of my friends seemed content to pretend my scar wasn’t even there. I worried bringing up Cassian’s would open the conversation to mine. As long as I could, I wanted to keep living in the fantasy world where my scar and my past never happened.
I’d just gotten finished drying my hair and getting dressed to go out when dad came home.
It was only a little past six, and he wasn’t due back for another couple hours from work. I tiptoed toward the front door and saw him swaying with a bottle in his hand. I clenched my teeth and went to him, helping him to the couch before he wound up falling and hurting himself. He reeked of beer and liquor, and by the way he was swaying, he wasn’t just a little drunk. Once I got him situated on the couch, I stepped back and got my first good look at him.
His face was streaked with sweat and shiny, despite the cold outside. He had on his uniform from the factory, but it was ruffled and covered in grime. I gently put my fingers on the bottle in his hand and waited, hoping he’d let it go without a fight.
His hard eyes met mine, but he finally sighed and sunk back into the cushions, letting me take the bottle. I carried it to the kitchen and poured it out.
“You need anything?” I asked as I put on my coat.
“Yeah.” His voice was little more than a sour croak. “A goddamn time machine.”
I let his words sink in. He didn’t have to say what he’d do with that power.
Erase me.
I slid my coat on and headed outside, wishing the cold could numb my mind like my muscles.12CassianI pulled up to Dead Ringers with Sophie riding shotgun in the Aston Martin. Her skirt was short enough that I didn’t need to guess what color panties she wore. I’d met her at a party a couple weeks back. She was pretty enough, with dirty blonde hair, sultry lips, and big, sparkling princess eyes.
She even had a little bit of personality, which was rare from the girls around here. She wanted to be a dolphin trainer, or something. She apparently spent her weekends interning at a local place where she was training seals.
Still, I found myself gritting my teeth when she squeezed my thigh and smiled before we got out of the car. She leaned in for a kiss, and I let her find my cheek.