“It was good. Great actually. I’ve missed Tessa, and I enjoyed getting to catch up with her. She caught me up on everything with their wedding, and helped me forget about mine.”
“You didn’t forget,” he says gently. “I know you, Reese. I know you’re tearing yourself up inside over this. I’m the one you should blame, not yourself.”
“Actually, I should thank you.”
“Thank me?” he says, surprised.
“I had my doubts,” I confess. “I wasn’t sure that marrying Hunter was what I really wanted. I didn’t voice it because I was ashamed. He’s a really great guy. He was good to me.”
“I’m glad. I feel for him too, but at the same time, I’m so fucking grateful that I have this chance with you. To show you what you mean to me.”
I don’t say anything to that. I’m not sure if I’m ready to have this conversation in his truck as we travel down the highway. When we get to my place, because I know he’s going to follow me home, we’ll talk. And while I don’t want to push him away, I want us to ease into whatever this might be. Maybe, just maybe, I can keep my heart from falling even more in love with him in the process.Four hours later, we’re pulling into my building. Mom and Dad were chatty, and so were Cooper’s parents. None of them seemed surprised we were together or when Cooper took my hand to lead me out to my car.
Cooper insists on carrying my bag as I let us into my apartment. “I’m going to grab a quick shower. Wash the travel off me. Make yourself at home.”
“Need any help?” he asks, taking a seat on the couch. He already knows what my answer is going to be.
“I think I can manage. I’ll be right back.”
Rushing down the hall to my room, I strip out of my clothes and take the world’s fastest shower. Pulling on some leggings and an old Central University T-shirt, I brush out my hair and quickly blow it dry. No styling for this girl. I’m in for the night. Instead, I pull it up in a ponytail and call it good.
“That was fast,” Cooper says when I take a seat opposite him on the couch.
“I can take fast showers.”
“That’s a new skill,” he jokes.
“Hush.” I toss a pillow at him, and he catches it easily.
“You ready for that talk?” he asks.
“No. But we have to anyway.” I’ve put it off as long as I can.
“You want to start, or do you want me to?”
“I will.” I need to get this out. “For this to work, whatever this is, we need honesty. In order for that to happen, we need to backtrack.”
“This is forever, and we can go back as far as you want.” He angles his body toward mine from his spot on the couch.
I nod, pull the pillow back from his arms into mine as a safety net, and start talking. “I don’t know when exactly that I fell in love with you.” His eyes light up. “Only that I did. One day you were just Cooper, my best friend, and the next, you were the man I wanted more than anything. I wanted you as my best friend, and my everything.”
He doesn’t speak but reaches over and places his hand on my leg. We’re now fully facing each other from opposite ends of the couch.
“I never wanted to tell you. I don’t know if it was the fear of rejection or the fear of losing you that scared me more.” I pause, collecting my thoughts. “Anyway, that night, the one where things got a little out of control in your room… that night I wanted you. I offered myself to you, and you didn’t want me.”
“I did,” he says. “I wanted you, but I was afraid to lose you.”
I want to believe him. I want to push all of this out of my mind, but I can’t stop now. I have to get this out. “My heart was broken, Cooper. Shattered tiny shards of glass splintered. It was hard for me to be around you, the pain of knowing you didn’t want me that way was crushing.” He opens his mouth to speak, but I raise my hand to stop him. “Hunter was there. He was a really nice guy. He was patient with me, never pressuring me for anything. I found myself spending more and more time with him. All of my friends were your friends. I couldn’t escape you, unless I was with Hunter.”
My heart hurts speaking those words. For me, for Cooper, and for Hunter. He’s innocent in all of this. He gave me his heart, and I accepted it even when I wasn’t ready to. He wasn’t who I wanted, and I let him think that he was. I pretended he was, and that is unforgivable.