If that’s not fucked up, I couldn’t tell you what is.
Rory nods like she understands and maybe with her history she does. She doesn’t push me to expand and I’m grateful. Instead, her eyes leave mine and she looks at my son, who has somehow fallen asleep.
“I think he’s done for the night,” she says softly and I hate that Ryan misses this moment. I hate it because he should have this memory. This should be one burned in his brain, that he can recall when he needs it. But… he’s sleeping and he misses it as Rory bends down and kisses the top of his head. I know, because I’ve done it myself and I can tell that’s what she’s doing, she breathes my boy in.
She inhales his sweet smell, the smell of baby shampoo, innocence and love. She breathes deep and takes that inside and she smiles as it feeds her. It’s a small half smile and she’s looking down, part of her hair hiding her face, but I see it. I understand it and that fucking burning in my gut, the squeeze on my heart they swell and amplify to the point that if I were standing they’d cripple me.
“Yeah,” I murmur, my voice so fucking clogged with the things in my head that I can barely get the word out and it sounds raw. Raw because it was torn from my insides.
“You barely ate,” she says, her gaze coming back to find mine.
I search. I search hard for any sign that she’s other than what she appears. I search for those signs that I should have searched for in Violet, signs that I saw and ignored because how can a woman seek to hurt a child. I ignore my dick, my wants, and I search Rory’s face.
I find nothing and yet that burn is still there.
“Too much popcorn,” I tell her with a shrug and get rewarded with those full lips of hers smiling at me.
“Yeah, but it was good.”
“Even with the chocolate Raisinets on them?” I ask and she scrunches up her nose looking so cute that I want to kiss her.
I don’t.
“I still say that’s just wrong, but whatever,” she laughs quietly.
“Are you doing okay?” I ask, because I know she’s not. She’s hid it well, but she’s been looking over her shoulder all night. She’s worried about her ex and her brother. She’s been panicked ever since visiting the judge. The restraining and protection orders they issued for her did nothing to allay her fears.
Is that her game? Is she using me for protection?
Of all the possibilities this one I could deal with the most. Fuck, I wouldn’t even mind it.
How fucked up is that?
The burn in my gut clenches to the point it feels like a white-hot knife is slicing into me.
“I still think Mexico is a good option,” she says and she’s not joking.
“If they’re stupid enough to come here and bother you, we’ll deal with them,” I vow and I’m fucked up, but I know that I’m speaking the truth. I’ll protect Rory. I’m finding the hard truth is that I don’t have to trust her to care about her.
“It could be dangerous, Noah. I don’t want to bring that to your door. You have Ryan to think about.”
“It could be a moot point. Let’s see if they do anything first,” I tell her.
I have a feeling they will. No man follows a woman to Montana after she left him and clearly hates him… unless he’s fucked in the head.
He’s a different kind of fucked up than me, but he is just the same.
Seems Rory has a knack for attracting a certain kind. Good thing for her that I don’t want to hurt her.
At least not yet—not unless she betrays me and my child.
Son of a bitch, I’m tired of being me…30Rory“Missed you, Gorgeous,” Noah whispers into my hair, his arms squeezing me tight.
I keep my eyes closed. I’m lying on his chest, his heartbeat drumming in my ear and his steady breathing bringing me peace. I manage to turn into his chest and place a small kiss, but then I go back to my comfortable position, my hand draped over his stomach, my fingers pushed into his hip, holding him close… all while keeping my eyes shut.
“Me too,” I whisper and it’s the truth.
It’s been almost three weeks since we slept together and this is the first time we’ve been together since. I thought I remembered it, but as the days began to add up there was the off chance that I made it better than it was in my memory.
I hadn’t.
This time was just as good… maybe better.
This time he only gave me one orgasm, but he took his time getting me there and when it came… the Earth stopped turning for a moment and the ground shook. It’s also why my bones feel like they’ve melted, why it’s impossible to move more than to just place a light kiss on his stomach and why my eyes are still closed.