“You finding out more?” I prod him. I didn’t want him to check into Rory, but now that he has I want it all.
“Does a bear shit in the woods?”
“Keep me posted,” I order him.
“Will do. Throw Crusher a bone before the fucker has an aneurysm,” he says and I ignore him.
“Later, Marcum.”
“See you around, Mijo,” he says and hangs up.
I clasp the phone tightly in my hand and walk back to my bedroom. I flop on the bed, not bothering to undress or turn the covers down. I doubt I’ll even sleep. I can hear Rory’s bed creak from behind the wall and I stare at it. It’s silent for hours and I’m careful not to make a sound. I’m thinking over everything Marcum gave me, and I’m not liking any of it.
I roll over onto my side, still staring at that damn wall. I close my eyes, willing sleep to come and knowing it won’t. Eventually I hear it. So quiet and muffled I have to strain, but it’s there just the same.
Crying.
Sobbing.
Rory’s tears…
Fuck.
I fall asleep only after her tears stop and the silence lulls me into it. I fall asleep with only one question on my mind.
What are you hiding Rory and why were you so desperate to tie me to you?
I unfortunately don’t have any answers.39Rory“Here!” I huff, throwing my mounds of papers that I had been holding into Diesel’s lap.
I’m standing outside his garage. He’s on a creeper, having just rolled out from under his truck as I approached. His eyes instantly got intense and narrowed on me. It was then I knew that I wasn’t the same person that I used to be.
I’m not proud of it, definitely not. But, there was a time when I didn’t like who I was. The old Rory would have taken his shit—would have taken everything he dished out. The old Rory was used to being trapped. The thing is that Noah messed up. He showed me something good, something I’d never had before and something I really wanted. He took it away once and it nearly killed me. He talked me into coming back and now here he was ripping it away from me again. The last two days, I let the blows he delivered fester until I thought they would kill me. They didn’t, I’m still standing. Slowly I switched from pain to anger. I needed some way to channel that. So, I’ve been researching.
“What’s this?” Noah asks, looking at the papers.
“Research as to why you’re an idiot,” I huff.
“What?” he asks, his voice going tight.
“I researched all of the reasons why vasectomies fail!”
He doesn’t say anything. He just stares at me and that makes me nervous, but I push through.
“Did you hear what I said? Fail!”
“Be hard not to hear you,” he says. “You’re screaming.”
I do my best not to let his face, his tone, and his words fluster me. He wants to keep being a jerk, despite me handing him proof… Whatever.
“Okay then, to go forward,” I start, getting so nervous that it’s about to overcome my anger and I have the strangest urge to run back home. I don’t—but I really want to. “Did you know that you have live sperm three months—or sometimes longer depending on how often you… you know… after a vasectomy?
“How many times?”
“How many times you’ve ejaculated!” I huff.
“How many times is that?” he asks bored.
“It’s different, near as I can tell but it has to be after three months and sometimes ten! You have to have ejaculated at least like… twenty times,” I tell him, my mind sifting through my research and hope I’m getting it right. I think I’m hitting all the high points, but he’s making me nervous.
“Been two years, Rory and a fuck of a lot more than twenty times. You and I were more than the twenty times. I probably ejaculated in your mouth more than twenty times because you’re a greedy bitch who likes having cock in your mouth. I just didn’t realize it was any cock,” he says delivering a blow that hits so hard I don’t think I’ll ever recover from it.
Ever.
I think this is the point. This is where it is not about salvaging my relationship with Noah. This is the part where it becomes trying to make him understand he’s going to be a father. No woman needs to be with a mean man. I should know because for years of my life I was surrounded by mean men. They tried to destroy me. I don’t want to invite that back into my life, especially when this particular man is a man that I let into my heart.
“Fine. Then, you’re looking at number two-thousand, Noah.”
He says nothing.
“I’m number two-thousand!” I tell him again.
“Finish all you have to say, Rory,” he sighs. “Then, leave.”