Sweet? Michelle couldn’t remember anyone ever calling her sweet. Determined, a good surgeon, self-reliant, but sweet? She kind of liked having that adjective assigned to her. “Goodnight.”
Mrs. Jordon gave her a small nod and turned her attention back to her husband.
Michelle left and went to the nurses’ desk. “Who’s Mr. Jordon’s nurse tonight?”
The other nurses looked everywhere but at her before one said, “I am, ma’am.”
Michelle smiled at the young nurse and watched as she noticeably relaxed. “I’d like you to call social work and see if they have a volunteer who could sit through surgery with Mrs. Jordon. She has no one else and she shouldn’t be alone.”
By the time Michelle finished making her request everyone at the desk was looking her direction.
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll see to it. If there is no one, I’ll come in. It’s my day off. They’re such a lovely old couple.”
Michelle smiled and glanced back toward Mr. Jordon’s room. “Yes, they are. Thank you…”
“Becky.”
“Thank you, Becky.”
Michelle walked down the hall to her next patient. She’d never done anything like holding a family member’s hand before and had certainly never thought of who sat with them during surgery. It felt good to focus on helping someone else instead of her misery. Ty would have been surprised and pleased if he’d seen her. More than that, she was proud of herself. Ty may have left but he’d been a blessing in her life, encouraging her to break out of her shell and show that she cared. For that, she’d always be grateful to him.
She still needed to take one more step.
* * *
The next morning she entered the OR. Her team stood ready to go to work. They all looked at her expectantly. Instead of her usual “Are we ready to begin?” she said, “I’d like to tell all of you something.”
Almost in unison their brows rose.
“I know I’ve been a bit rigid and at times difficult to work with.” There was no argument. She really hadn’t expected there to be one. “My mother has been fighting a difficult battle with cancer and I’ve been preoccupied with her care and prognosis. I’ve been deathly afraid that I might lose her.”
Murmurs of concern greeted her that were so heart felt that Michelle regretted she’d kept her mother’s illness a secret for so long.
“My mother had cancer a couple of years ago and is doing great now,” said one person.
“My niece had it as a child. She had her first baby six weeks ago,” commented one of the scrub nurses.
“My father has it now,” said another.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Michelle offered.
“How’s your mother doing?” the nurse at the end of the table asked.
“Very well. We’re getting good reports but the fight isn’t over.”
Jane, who stood at her right elbow, said, “I’m here if you ever need to talk.”
“Thanks, I may take you up on that some time.” With a lightness in her heart she’d not felt in a long time, Michelle meant it.
“Now, we need to get Mr. Jordon patched up. He has a wife that’s waiting for him to get better.”
Everyone took their positions and waited for her to take the lead.
“Mark, why don’t you put on some of the rock and roll you like playing before I get in here?” Michelle said in a teasing tone.
“Yes, ma’am.”
When all looks settled on her, she raised her brows and said, “Are we ready to begin?”
* * *
Hours later, Michelle walked into the surgery waiting room. Mrs. Jordon looked haggard but glad to see her. She took a seat next to the older woman and took her hand. “Mr. Jordon came through the surgery well and he’s doing fine. You can see him as soon as they get him settled in CICU. That will take a few minutes.”
“Thank you, Dr. Ross.”
Michelle let go of the older woman’s hand and stood. Smiling down at Mrs. Jordon, she said, “You’re welcome. He should be home and under your care in less than a week.”
“That sounds wonderful.” Mrs. Jordon looked over at the woman sitting two seats over and back to Michelle. “I understand you are the one to thank for Robin being here.”
Robin must be the volunteer in the traditional hospital volunteer jacket.
“I just thought you might like a little company,” Michelle said. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Please get some rest. We all know what bad patients men can be,” Michelle said, and smiled.
It felt good to know that she’d not only done her best for Mr. Jordon but for his wife as well. Ty had told her that if she’d just let others in that she’d no longer need him. He’d been wrong. She’d started letting people in but she still needed him just as much as she ever had. Would the ache ever ease?
* * *
The blazing hot days of summer were in full swing as Michelle pushed her way into the OR for the last time that afternoon. The last weeks had been difficult ones as she’d adjusted to Ty’s absence. There had been no phone calls, emails or letters. Nothing. It hurt but he was a free spirit and she’d expected nothing less. But it would have been nice…
It hadn’t been easy, still wasn’t if she allowed herself too much time to think. She’d strived day by day to move on. She’d shared a shopping trip with a couple of the nurses who’d asked her about where to buy clothes. It had been enjoyable and they’d planned to do it again soon. She wouldn’t exactly call her interaction with the nurses friendship but she was making a step in the right direction. It was a slow process, learning to open up, but she was making an effort.
Her mother was still seeing her doctors regularly and all the reports were good. Michelle continued to be pleased with her mother’s efforts to recover. She went out more, spent time with her friends and otherwise required less of Michelle’s time. The downside was that it gave Michelle even more time to wonder where Ty was and what he was doing, which left her gloomy. Thankfully her days were busy.
“Hey, everyone, are we ready to go? Whose turn is it to pick the music?” Michelle asked as she walked toward the surgery table.
Silence hung over the room for a second before Jane said, “I think it’s yours.”
“Then how about some of the classics?” Michelle took her place and looked toward the head of the table. “Are we rea—?”
Her heart stopped, jerked into motion again and kicked into warp speed.
The sparkling green eyes that held steady over the mask of the person in the anesthesiologist’s chair she knew so well. They were the last thing she saw before she went to bed at night. They were the ones that burned warm and caring in her dreams. The ones she wouldn’t mistake for anyone else’s. The ones she had looked for every time she’d entered the OR but had never expected to see.
Ty.
His gaze held steady. Waiting. Questioning. Asking.
Her breath came in soft, short gasps.
Someone cleared their throat, making her remember to blink.
Ty’s eyelids lowered too but when they came up again his eyes held that infamous twinkle. Her heart zipped faster. If she’d paid closer attention, she would have known sooner that it was Ty. He wore a hot pink scrub cap with gray elephants on it. Who else would wear a scrub cap like that? She knew all too well what his thick, wondrously curly hair felt like in her hands. The perfect touch of it running through her fingers.
Glancing at the others in the room, she could see that they were watching her closely for a reaction to Ty being there. This time it wasn’t in uncertainty but in anticipation.
“I’m ready. By the way, I like your taste in music,” Ty remarked with a hint of humor in his voice.
How like Ty to joke when her nerves were tied in a knot. What was he doing here? Why hadn’t he told her he was coming?
“I’ve been led to believe that music soothes the savage beast,” she said in a dry tone.
He chuckled behind his mask.
How could she be
expected to do her job with him sharing the OR? How long would he stay this time?
Michelle took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She was a professional and she had a surgery to perform. Thankfully it wasn’t a difficult one. Maybe this was the case she should let her resident take the lead on.
Ty glanced at Michelle more than once but she never returned his look. It was as if she was making a point not to acknowledge that he was there. Did that mean she wanted nothing to do with him? Or did it mean that she was so aware of him that she was afraid she might be distracted? He hoped with every fiber in his being that it was the latter.
Ty had questioned whether or not to agree to be in the OR without letting Michelle know first. He’d been assigned the case and there had been no time to speak to her. Michelle was a consummate professional and would always put her patients’ care first. If he’d thought anything less he wouldn’t have taken the case.
Thankfully the surgery wasn’t a long one. As soon as the resident finished closing, Michelle was out the door.
Ty had to stay with the patient until he was settled in CICU. Then he’d go in search of Michelle. He would have to hunt for her. She’d been shocked to see him and she would have gone somewhere to regroup before she could face him. He hoped that when he found her she’d still want to have something to do with him.
After checking on the floor for her, he then went back to CICU. He was told that she’d come and gone. He called her but she didn’t answer. Was she so mad at him that she would refuse to speak to him? A fist of worry squeezed his heart. Had he missed his chance?
Determined to make Michelle hear him out, he circled around by her office to see if she was there. If not, he’d go to her house and then her mother’s if necessary. He tapped lightly on the partially open door to Michelle’s office then pushed it wide.
She sat behind her desk, removing the wrapper from a chocolate cake roll. Her hand shook slightly as she worked. Maybe she wasn’t completely unaffected by his return after all.