“You look like shit. There’s no need for both of us to be here. He’ll sleep right through now. Why don’t you take a break?” Vanessa says to me.
I rub the back of my neck. “Why don’t you take a break? I’ll stay with him.”
She smiles. “I’ll be all right. I’m happier when I’m here, next to him. You go ahead. There is a hotel just up the road. It’s not much, but you’ll be close by, and you can refresh and recharge. You’re no good to him tired and irritable. Go on.”
I don’t want to leave the hospital, but the doctor assures me things look all right for now. I haven’t slept in over twenty-four hours and Ness is right. Liam needs me at my best. I take a taxi to the hotel Vanessa told me about.
The room is drab and basic. I drop my bag on the bed and walk to the window. The hospital is so close by I can see from where I am standing. A square gray building. I think of all the people who work there, who die there.
I should sleep.
The bed looks comfortable enough, but when I lie down and close my eyes, all I see is Izzy. I can’t get her out of my head. I roll onto my back with my arm over my eyes.
And there she is again.
Chapter Fourteen
Izzy
I get lost in the maze of streets and don’t even realize I am lost until two men walking towards me say something in French to me, but their body language and leering faces snaps me out of my daze.
I’m alone in a dark street with two men who look like thugs. I don’t think I have ever been so frightened in my life. I drop my head and crossing the road start walking away quickly. My heart hammers in my chest. My ears listen for their footsteps. They don’t follow. One of them laughs and calls something out. I don’t turn. Just keep my head fixed straight ahead and my stride long and fast.
To my relief, only a short distance away, the street joins a busy one full of traffic and people.
I run the last few steps and burst on to the busy street. I look around me. I realize for the first time that I am soaked to the skin and shivering. Nobody takes any notice of me. I flag down a cab and give the address of the apartment I am staying in to the taxi driver.
He doesn’t speak. Simply grunts, switches on the meter, and starts on driving.
By the time I get back to the apartment, everyone is asleep after all the champagne at the party, and only Marie, Lina’s French friend, whose apartment we are staying in, is awake.
“You are wet,” she says and shoos me towards the bathroom.
My mind is blank as I peel off my clothes and get into the shower. I don’t even cry. Slowly, feelings come back to my frozen limbs. Eventually, I get out and wrap myself in the thick bathrobe Marie hung behind the door for me.
I dry myself and go into the living room where she is watching TV. To my surprise Lina has come to join her friend in the living room. They are talking in low tones. When they hear me they both turn towards me, but it is only Lina who speaks to me.
“I heard the doorbell. What are you doing here?” she asks, a frown on her face.
I shake my head, because quite honestly, I cannot speak. Cannot say a word. She stares at me for a few seconds then, she stands, and comes over to me. “Come on, let’s have a cup of tea in the kitchen.”
We go into the kitchen, but it is not tea she takes down from the cupboard, but a bottle of cognac. I sit down and watch her pour a generous measure into two mugs. I smell the fumes from where I am sitting. I drank Jameson last night. I can still taste it on my tongue.
She pushes one of the mugs towards me. I curl my hands around it and drink it down. All of it in one go. It burns my throat and makes me cough. I look at Lina’s face.
Her mouth quirks. “It’s okay, honey. It happens to all of us.”
I bite my lip. She doesn’t understand, but I nod. I can’t talk about it. Not to her. Not to anyone. She can never understand. No one can.
“So Charlotte went on her honeymoon. Everything went really well,” she says softly.
I nod.
“Kylie got really drunk and threw up in the toilet,” she adds into the awkward silence.
I nod again.
She drinks her cognac and refills our mugs. I drink it and stand up.
She stands too. “I’m really sorry, Izzy.”
I nod, then I turn to leave.
“I’m here if you need to talk,” she says.
I turn. Her face is soft and full of concern. I nod and manage a half-smile. For the first time in my life, the pain is too deep for me to talk about my pain to anyone.
Tyson
“Norway?” Vanessa chews on her lower lip, looking uncertainly from me to Liam and back to me.
Liam frowns. “Why?” he whispers weakly.
“Because there are specialists there who are in the middle of developing a new treatment for your specific cancer. There are doctors throwing all their expertise behind it,” Liam’s doctor says.
“Can he manage a trip like that?” Vanessa looks at the small team of doctors gathered at the foot of the bed.
“Yes. Mr. Eden has already made the arrangements for transport. All the necessary medical equipment can be taken onboard.”
“And it’s ready to leave whenever you are,” I finish, looking down at my friend. “All you have to do is stop being a stubborn jackass and accept the very thing you would do for me if you were in my shoes.”
“How much is it going to cost?”
“I can afford it,” I say.
“No, it’s too much,” he protests.
“Stuff it. It’s not too much. It’s nothing.” I touch his shoulder—it’s like touching a skeleton. “Please.”
Liam looks at Vanessa, his jaw set hard.
Her eyes fill with tears. “Please, Liam. Do it for me.”
It’s what decides it for him. “All right. Let’s go to Norway.”
Chapter Fifteen
Izzy
Two Days Later
The journey back is strange and strained. I find it difficult to talk to the others and spend most of it pretending to be asleep. Lina’s brother comes to pick us up.
As soon as he drops me off on m
y street, I wave goodbye to everyone and run up the three flights of stairs to my little apartment. I lock the door behind me, then lean against it. A strangled sob bubbles up out of my throat. I’m alone, finally. I can let it all out. Tears overwhelm me as I slide down the door and end up in a heap on the floor.
What’s wrong with me? Why does it matter so much? He was just a man, just a man, just a worthless man. I made a mistake. So what? I had fun, right? Then why is my heart breaking? It must be my pride that’s hurt. Yes, that must be it. My pride. My pride is hurt.
Though I did think we had something special. Nobody can tell me that night was not special.
I cry my heart out. When I finally manage to get myself up off the floor I feel cold determination take over. I’ll get over this. I take my shoes off, then the belt of the brand new dress I wore for the first time today, a cute little knit dress that hugs my body and whose light grey shade complements my eyes. I pull it over my head and toss it on the bed, not even bothering to put it away.
I only wore it because I was sick of Catherine and Lina looking at me as if I was going to slit my wrists.
A pair of tracksuit bottoms and a cuddly old night shirt will suit my mood a lot better. I pull my hair into a bun on top of my head and put the kettle on. An afternoon of trashy TV is what I need more than anything. I’ll get over you, Tyson Eden. You’ll see, I’ll get over you if it’s the last thing I do.
Chapter Sixteen
Tyson
Two Weeks Later
“It’s looking good, Ralph. He’s looking real good,” I say into the phone. The Norwegian sky is a clear blue and the air is fresh and clean.
“That’s great news,” he says, and I can hear the smile in his voice. “Did they say when he can come home?”