‘Why don’t you wear your blue dress? The one with the sweetheart neckline that we got from Browns. It makes you look quite simply stunning.’
‘That’s a good idea. I will do that.’
She smiled with satisfaction. ‘Right. I had better crack on. It’s been a bit of a nightmare day and there’s so much to do. One of the horses foaled last night. Have to go and check how mother and son are doing. See you later?’
‘OK.’
She turned away and began to walk out.
‘Ivana?’ I called.
She turned around. ‘Yes, darling?’
‘Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. I do really appreciate it.’
Her face misted over. ‘I’d love to do more. You are my daughter. Not of flesh, but of spirit.’
We smiled at each other and then she was gone.
Dinner was a dreary affair. It turned out that Daffy decided not to come after all. She went to a party in Fulham instead. Of course Ivana was a wonderful hostess, but Daddy couldn’t stop talking about the new foal. And Wills kept giving me puppy dog looks, which were irritating at best. It was even possible that he was plucking up the courage to ask me out. I invented a headache and excused myself early.
‘Do you want me to send Bertie up with some hot chocolate for you?’ Ivana asked, her face concerned.
‘No,’ I said, feeling really guilty. ‘Please don’t worry. It’s nothing. I’ll be fine once I take a couple of tablets.’
‘Goodnight, darling,’ she said with such feeling that I almost wanted to blurt the truth out to her. I was fucking Dr. Kane and I was missing him so much I couldn’t even bear to sit beside Wills and put up with his fumbling attempts to court me when I knew all he really wanted to do was crawl into bed with a man.
But I didn’t. I knew she wouldn’t understand. Ivana and all the people in my circle placed position and status above silly little things like love and emotions.
‘Goodnight.’
I went to my room and I lay down in the dark. For hours I tossed and turned and in the end I knew I had to go and see Dr. Kane. I got out of bed, dressed, left Marlborough Hall and nervously drove down to London. I hardly ever drove since my accident.
I rang on Dr. Kane’s bell at two in the morning.
Marlow
I was lying on the sofa, music muted right down, and dreaming of Olivia when the d
oorbell went. For a second my brain went blank. I glanced at my watch. Who the fuck was ringing my bell at two in the morning? Kids? A drunk at the wrong address? It rang again. I didn’t even think I expected anyone to reply when I said, ‘Yeah?’
‘Dr. Kane,’ she said and I froze. For a few seconds there was silence and then her voice said again, ‘Dr. Kane?’
I came to like a sleepwalker waking up. ‘Yeah, come up,’ I said.
I stood at the closed door and listened to the sound of her heels on the stairs. Then I opened the door. She stood at the second step of the stairs and looked at me with those huge eyes.
‘Come on in then,’ I said softly and she walked up to me. I stood aside to allow her to pass through. She had changed her perfume. It was subtle, expensive, mysterious. Exactly what I would have chosen for her. I closed the door, caught her by the arm, whirled her around and set her against the door. She looked up at me with wide eyes.
‘What are you doing here?’
Her seductive mouth moved. I could feel my blood heating up. My cock stirring, hardening. I stared at her, mesmerized.
‘I couldn’t sleep,’ she said.
We stared at each other. I couldn’t sleep either.
‘I can’t,’ I said, my eyes moving from her mouth to her eyes and back to her mouth. Her chest was heaving. ‘Fucking resist you,’ I said, and grabbing both her hands, pinned them over her head.