Suddenly I’m encircled in warm arms and his lips are on my temple. He lets out a deep sigh. “Well, then you better do what he says.”
I pull back to look at him. “So you believe me?” I don’t know why this is important, but it is.
He looks down at me and our eyes lock. Time stands still. “Of course.”
I sag into his chest as I rest my forehead on him. “Thank you.”
He kisses the top of my head telling me to get ready for my father’s funeral. It’s today. Jason is having him buried in the same cemetery where his father and brother are laid to rest. I’m numb. I’ve cried so much that I don’t remember fixing myself up. A flutter and sharp kick in my stomach bring me back to the present. Gazing down at my large stomach, I straighten my black dress, which Dolly brought over yesterday while I was taking a nap. I miss Dolly and Doug and haven’t seen anyone but the funeral director, Amy, and Jason. All the decisions: What color flowers? Does he have a suit that he wanted to be buried in? All of it has been overwhelming especially since I have no idea what I should answer. I finally told Amy to do what she thought everyone would enjoy foodwise for the gathering after the funeral.
We’re at the clubhouse today. It’s easier to answer all the questions while Jason is nearby. I lean over the sink to get a good look at my face. Despite the black circles, I seem okay. My father’s voice drifts over me. He loves you. Let me go. I shudder because that dream was so real. It had to be my dad coming to me. I touch my stomach. Jason and I need to start discussing names.
“You ready, babe?”
“What?”
He walks over to me and pushes my hair off my shoulder. “I asked if you were ready. It’s time to go.”
I nod and look at him. “Are you allowed to wear that?” My heart flutters as I admire the man standing in front of me. Jesus, he’s wearing a suit. It’s black with a white shirt and I want to die he’s so gorgeous.
“That’s the great thing about being the president—I can do anything I want.” He winks and opens his suit jacket so I can see his black leather Disciples vest underneath.
“You’re so handsome.” I reach up to stroke his honey-colored hair. He catches my hand. Bringing it to his lips, he sucks on my finger.
My breath catches. “Jason.” It comes out in a whisper.
He smiles and lightly bites me. “And you’re stunning. Let’s go.”
Jason helps me into my coat and takes my hand. Warmth from his hand transfers to my cold hand making all of today seem more bearable as we go downstairs. The sound of chairs being moved and feet shuffling make me take notice: all the men have come to their feet. My eyes sting as I nod. Somehow I’ve become part of this crazy family of tatted men.
Amy comes out of the kitchen, teary-eyed yet smiling. As we walk by, every single man says they’re sorry. It’s surreal, like I’m truly their queen. Jason’s expression is serious. He gets like this every time we go out. I guess being shot will do that to you.
“Eve?” I jump. Jason is frowning.
“Sorry, I’m fine. Please stop looking at me like that,” I snip.
“I hate that I can’t take away your pain. It makes me feel helpless and that’s an unacceptable emotion for me.” He kisses my forehead as I slide into the back of a dark Cadillac SUV and Jason follows. Ox waits for us, smoking a cigarette. After a deep breath, I close my eyes. They sting from days of crying.
“I love the way a new car smells.” Opening my eyes, I blink away more hot tears so I can hold Jason’s hand again.
“I guess I’ll have to make sure I get a new car for us every six months.”
“My dad probably never smelled a new car before.” I reach for his hand and pull my bag close as I look out the window, the tears spilling onto my cheeks.
The scenery goes by. I don’t notice or maybe I don’t care. It’s winter but still sunny. My father would like that. At one point I wanted to bury him next to my mom. The sad thing is I don’t remember where she is. Maybe Minnesota. When I used to ask my dad, he would get that faraway look and change the subject. I blink back the tears. That part of my life is over, done. Jason, my baby, and I guess the Disciples are my future. I blink, forcing my tears away now that we’re pulling into the cemetery.
“Prez, I’ve got men everywhere.” Ox shuts off the Cadillac and turns to glance at us.