Every addict has some sort of substitution. Mine was drugs, booze, sex, cigarettes, and working out. But this is more powerful. It’s like I can’t stay away. I need her to give me a fix. Even if it’s for an hour, I’ll take it.
“You scared me,” she croaks as I shake her again.
“How the fuck can you be so stupid? Jesus Christ, last night you could have been gang-raped and tonight I find you alone at one a.m. in the morning locking up?”
I’m already on edge. Anything could set me off.
“David.” She reaches up and touches my cheek. “You’re right. I won’t let it happen again.”
It’s like she’s singed me, yet I let her caress my face with her warm hands, her beautiful golden eyes telling me things that I know I’ll use to hurt her.
“I need to go.” I grab her wrist and toss it away.
“I live down the street…”
“This was a mistake.” I turn toward my bike. “Get in your car and get your skinny ass home.”
“Wait.” She runs after me.
I turn, my agony ready to spill out of me. Not trusting myself to speak, I grab her arms tight, almost punishingly.
“You don’t want me, Beautiful. Trust me on this. You need to run and hope I never come back.”
Her eyes fill with tears as her nails dig into my arm. “I’m strong enough to take that chance. You need me, David, and I need you. Always have. Stay with me tonight.”
Her voice is so fucking sexy; her smell is intoxicating. But in truth, this one makes me bleed and that’s not something that can happen. I can sense it though as all my anxiety and worries slide off me. It’s unfair to give them to her. She says she wants them… She can’t possibly want the real me. If there is a real me.
The night air is crowded with city noises as we look at each other. She’s truly exquisite, and I want her. I want to tell her that I need her goodness and light. My days are filled with revenge and my nights with demons.
She must see something that makes her take my hand until we’re standing in front of my bike.
“It’s two stoplights to the right.”
She doesn’t wait for my reply and puts my helmet on, wrapping her long legs around my golden Harley.
Only for tonight, I reason, knowing my addiction is becoming my new hope. It guides me through the day, but the nights…
Her apartment is dark. She doesn’t turn on the lights as she steers me through a large room and straight to what I’m guessing is her bedroom.
I’m done letting her lead though. Lifting her up, I toss her on the bed. She squeals as I hear her shoes thump on the floor.
While I jerk off my cut and T-shirt and unbutton my pants, my eyes adjust to the darkness. Darkness, it wraps around us like a blanket. I love the dark. It makes my cock harden. Her excited breaths fill the room.
“Do you want me to turn on the lights?”
She tosses of her shirt and wiggles off her jeans panting like she’s on a treadmill. Cocking her head, she waits a moment and lies back, her naked body teasing me.
She’s exquisite, like an ethereal ghost. Except I can reach out and touch her. She’s real and I want her more than I’ve wanted anyone.
“No,” I rasp.
Her breathing picks up, which is a tell-tale sign. She enjoys not seeing what’s next, and I get off on knowing she likes the same things I do. I kick off my jeans and toss them to the carpet. They land with a clank of change and the knife I keep in my pockets.
“David…” Her voice is excited if not a little scared. I would be if I was her. I’ve given her no real reason to trust me.
“You scared?” I stop at the foot of the bed. The inky blackness hides all our pain as I feast on her porcelain skin.
“No,” she pants or maybe moans.
“Maybe you should be.” I push her back and climb on top of her.
“Oh God,” she groans and I can smell her excitement. Her sweet-smelling cunt is like candy that I can’t wait to taste.
I’m mostly fucking with her. Fear… there’s nothing better when fucking. It puts your body into flight mode, but with the right partner, it can be a rush.
“You said that you got me, that you’re strong enough for both of us.” I lean over to whisper in her ear. “We’ll see if you feel the same in the morning.”
I stick my tongue in her ear then bite the lobe.
“Ow,” she whimpers as she impatiently rubs her wet pussy on my cock.
I sit up and she reaches for my dick. “You’re not in charge, Charlie. Save your energy. You’re going to need it.” I say all this as I flip her around, slapping that incredible ass of hers.