“I love you.”
His eyes, those silver orbs, now teary, look almost startled at my declaration.
“Don’t.” He lets go of my neck and starts to turn, but I sink my nails into his bicep, causing a sound I’ve never heard before.
Pain. It vibrates under my skin and for one second, I wonder if I should have let him go? Before I can even understand, even compute what’s happening, he’s got me pinned, my legs wrapped around his waist as if they have a life of their own.
Vaguely, I process that he is leaning back enough to unbutton his pants. Then he’s inside me.
“Jesus Christ,” he says as he fucks me. In and out he thrusts. My head hits the wall as I reach for what I need. This is no longer about us. It’s pain, pure and primal, which only mating can heal.
“Fuck, your cunt is dripping down my balls.”
“David,” I scream as I come. It shakes my whole body. I’m raw, almost unhinged as I start to pulse. I might be losing it as I claw my nails down his back and tighten my legs. His cock pulses as he comes, and I can’t let go, can’t let my love go, can’t let this end.
It’s done. The storm has erupted. In a wild fury, it’s over and all I’m left with is his breath taking mine as I try to get some back.
Oxygen thief.
He’s been my crush, my wish, my need, and my soul. If he leaves me, I don’t know how I will survive. Through it all, he’s never been my deserter.
“Hold on to me, Beautiful.” He carries me, still locked around his strong arms, still nestled on his semi-hard cock. As we both fall to the bed, he pulls out.
“Are you okay?” He wipes my tears, which can’t seem to stop. I push his hand away as I sit up to look at him.
“Are you?”
He laughs, almost bitter, and sits up, reaching for his cigarettes. “Beautiful, I’m so far from okay you have no idea.” He lights up.
“Well, then I guess I’m not okay either.”
When he turns, our eyes lock, and I smile trying to lighten everything. He’s having a rough day. He’s trying to deal with the past and the present. I get all this.
He cocks his head, leans down, and kisses my lips.
“I’m no good. Not for you, not for my club. Anything I love goes bad or dies. Do you honestly think I’d let myself ruin your light?”
He turns and unzips the bag Edge brought and I bolt up and grab the first thing I see. It’s the T-shirt David was wearing yesterday.
“No, no, no.” I run after him as he carries the bag and slips on a dark T.
“David, please. I love you. I’ve always loved you. Give us a chance. One chance.” My hands reach out to him even though his back is to me. I know he hears me, feels me.
He looks up at the ceiling then turns. His silver eyes are filled with a pain that has hit him way more than it’s hit me. How can I even try to compete with the ghosts that dance in his eyes?
“No,” I scream and run to the door, blocking him.
“No.” The tears that seem unable to stop make me stutter, “N-n-o, I need you.”
“Jesus Christ, Charlie.” His eyes focus on me. “This can’t happen anymore. You’ll despise me, Beautiful.”
“You need me.” It comes out almost like a question. “David, what we have will never be bad. I have always loved you. Don’t you get it?” I reach for him, but he steps away as If I might burn him with my touch.
“Stop. Look at yourself. Look at what you’re becoming. I need help before I ruin everything that is us.”
“Oh God.” I grab at my heart—he’s breaking it into a thousand little pieces. The pain is like someone has reached in and tightened my heart yet won’t rip it out to give me peace.
“I thought I was your light.” I spit this at him.
He cocks his head, and his silver eyes tell me everything he’s not going to say.
“You are my light. But if I stay with you, I’ll extinguish it.”
He takes my numb hand and gingerly moves me aside. I let him, to preserve what little dignity I have left. He’s leaving and I can’t seem to stop him. He’s leaving me and the pain hurts so badly I think it might kill me. Pain, betrayal, all of these thoughts float in my head as I watch him.
“This is the worst thing that can ever happen, David. You’re breaking my heart.” This stops him. He hesitates then turns, dropping the bag. In one step, he holds my face with both hands.
“If this is the worst that ever happens to you, Charlie, then I’d say you’ve lived a charmed life. Because trust me… there are way worse things that can happen.”