“Stop it. He’s a kid, Dolly. He didn’t hear anything. You know, even if he’d been in the room, he would have been banging on the door.”
“Good poi—” The kicking continues.
“You okay?” Edge grins as he straightens my panties and fixes my dress.
“I’m fine. Stop it.” I knock his hand away and rub my hands up and down my dress.
“Mommy says you guys need to come join the party.”
He kicks again, and my eyes open wide as Edge calmly unlocks the door.
“Hey buddy.” He ruffles James’s blond hair and walks around him. My face burns and I stare in horror as James lifts up a giant fluorescent orange-and-white Nerf water gun. “Hello. I’m the new Prez. You’re my prisoner. Follow me.”
“James,” I say, “you’re not supposed to point guns”—I hold out my hand for him to give it to me—“even water guns at people’s f—” I gasp as a huge blast of water hits me straight in the face.
“Oh my God, James!” He must realize he’s in trouble because before I can grab him, he bolts out of the room screaming at the top of his lungs.
“Edge.” Water drips off my chin and onto my dress. “What the hell? Why didn’t you save me?” I throw my hands up.
“Come on, he’s a kid.”
“Edge Daniels, if you say that one more time, I swear to God.” I rip a bunch of tissues out of the Kleenex box and pat my face.
“Auntie Dooolllyyy.” He’s back and peeking around the corner, laughing. I lunge for him, successfully taking the gun out of his hands.
“Wow.” He looks at Edge who starts laughing. “She’s fast.”
“You have no idea, kid.” Edge is full-on laughing as I raise the water gun and aim it at his face.
“Help me, James. Auntie Dolly is after us.” Edge grabs him, holding his joyful, laughing face as a shield.
“You’re unbelievable.” I start after them. James is laughing and pretending to shoot me. We turn the corner and when Edge sets James down to open the screen door, I see my shot. I take it but instead of getting Edge, I shoot Axel straight in the face.
“Shi… oot,” I scream. If I wasn’t trying to still get Edge, I would take a second to enjoy the shocked look on Axel’s wet face.
“The fuck is going on?” He grabs my arm, spinning me around.
“Oh, for God’s sake. What the heck are you doing in my way, Axel?”
“Me?” He wipes his face with his shoulder. “I’m walking. Forgive me.”
“Well, move.” I bolt around him and run out the screen door toward the party.
Baby Zack is turning one. This time, both Eve and Charlie went overboard with the decorating and activities in my opinion. I mean, come on. The only ones who seem to be enjoying it are the adults, who are drinking, and the older kids.
Babies don’t care about the train and its annoying whistle. The train is new and Charlie’s idea she got from her friend Tess.
I’m not kidding. A train is puttering around a bikers’ compound, stopping to give kids and, I guess, adults rides if you count Dewey.
My stomach starts to feel queasy and I break out in a cold sweat. What was I thinking? One of the strippers at Edge’s club stands screaming at her three boys, yet they continue to spray her with one of the Nerf squirt guns.
“I can’t do this.” I sit down on a chair. A wave of dizziness makes me wonder if I’ll need to use the bathroom again.
“Dolly? You okay?” I jump and stare into concerned green eyes.
“No. Blade, I’m definitely not okay. If anything, I think I’m freaking out.” I wave my hands up and down in front of my face then at the sky where balloons are floating up in the air. His daughter Nicole watches a little girl who unties them from chairs and hands them to her to release one at a time.
He sits down and grins, leaning forward, arms on his lap. “You’re going to be amazing. This is fucking mayhem and, in a year and a half, we’ll be doing it for your kid. The thing is though, you won’t have to do it alone.”
My eyes dart to his and I take a deep breath. He’s right. As I start to look around, instead of seeing unhappy people, I see a family. Brothers laughing with brothers, old ladies watching other old ladies’ kids to give the parents a small break. Cousins running and playing, rolling in the grass and dirt.
“It’s our family.” I look at him.
He stands. “Welcome home, Dolly.”
He walks down the steps looking like the king he is. The screen door swings open and Axel steps out, his shirt soaked. Glaring at me, he shakes his head and stands next to Blade.
“Turn off the music,” Blade demands, and all the Disciples and even the kids turn. Only the annoying train keeps ringing its bell until Ryder walks over to the driver.