I needed to think things through. “Can I think about it?”
He forced a smile, but pretty much failed at it. “Sure. Of course.”• • •Over the next couple of weeks, I realized for sure that Brady wasn’t kidding when he’d said he wanted to start by being friends again. He was pulling out all of the stops, doing things I only remembered him doing in the early days of our relationship. He’d sent flowers to me at the studio. He’d come by and surprised me with my favorite takeout after work. He stayed to eat with me, but didn’t seem to expect anything else. Which was a good thing, because we weren’t together at the moment—although it was clear he was working toward making that happen.
As safe as Brady made me feel, I still felt like the trip had changed me. My time with Milo had me doubting whether the path I’d been on before I met him was the right one. I needed to be sure what was right for me long term before I made any decisions about where things stood with Brady. And as much as a part of me still loved him, I didn’t know whether I could ever fully trust him again. He’d broken my heart when he canceled the wedding—not to mention the embarrassment that goes along with that, having to tell friends and family what happened. At least he’d had the decency not to stand me up at the altar, like Big did to Carrie in Sex and the City. Then again, Carrie ended up forgiving Big.
Was I really justifying forgiving Brady because a fictional character who had great taste in shoes did the same?
A part of me knew if I hadn’t had the experience with Milo, I would be much more open to the idea of letting Brady back into my heart. But a part of my heart was with someone else now—a man I knew virtually nothing about in “real life.”
I decided to pay a visit to my friend Felicity, who was still home recovering after her car accident. She had no clue about what an adventure my trip had turned out to be.
On the drive to her house, I gave Brady’s mother a call. I hadn’t spoken to her in a while, and given everything she was going through with the Lyme-disease diagnosis, it was time I checked in. After all, it wasn’t her fault her son screwed up. She had been like a mother to me—more so than my own, who continued to travel the world with my dad.
I put my phone on speaker mode and dialed her.
She picked up. “Hazel!”
“Hey, Terry.”
She cleared her throat. “It’s so good to hear from you. How was your trip?”
“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to call. The trip was great. It was…necessary. Soul-cleansing, really. Thank you for asking.”
“I’m so glad to hear.”
“But more importantly, how are you feeling?”
“Better. Not a hundred percent. But better. You know, they say stress can exacerbate symptoms of chronic diseases. I have to admit that my foolish son doing what he did to you put me in a very bad place. I think that’s what led to my symptoms.”
I frowned. “Oh, I hope not.”
“Well, you know you’re like a daughter to me. I was very sad when Brady canceled the wedding.”
“Oh, Terry. Please don’t be. Everything happens for a reason. I feel like I understand that a little more now.”
She let out a breath into the phone. “Please don’t give up on him, Hazel. As much as he might deserve that, you have to remember that Brady was very hurt when his father and I divorced. It took him many years to get over it. I think he has a huge fear of history repeating itself.”
That had definitely crossed my mind—that Brady had his reasons, ones that may not have been about me. But it was hard not to take everything personally.
I sighed. “I get that.”
“He and I have had some time to chat while he’s been looking in on me. Now, I know I shouldn’t be violating my son’s trust, but fuck it, he lost the right to my full protection when he did you wrong. I can tell you with absolute certainty that his decision was completely fear-based. He’s afraid to bring a child into this world only to have a marriage end in divorce. He feels like he needs to be absolutely sure.”
“Well, I agree with needing to be sure. And I think he made the right decision to not go through with marrying me if he wasn’t sure.”
“But here’s the thing, darling. He is sure now. I don’t agree with how he handled things to get to that point, but I can tell you he’s never regretted anything more in his life than the decision to let you go.”