As it got closer to late afternoon, my nerves were going haywire.
Around 4PM, I went back to the hotel room and did my best to occupy myself: taking a shower, watching HBO, eating mindlessly out of the mini bar. There was only so much I could do. I didn’t want to leave the room. I couldn’t risk something happening that would delay my getting back by the time she was supposed to show.
I shut off the television at about 5:45 and started to pace.
When the clock finally struck six, I decided to log onto the airport’s website and check the status of the flight.
LANDED.
My heart raced as I stared at that word.
LANDED.
This was it; she was either here or she wasn’t. There was no turning back now.
The minutes after that crawled. I estimated it would take her at least an hour to get her luggage and get from the airport to the hotel.
So when seven o’clock rolled around, my forehead started to sweat. I stood at the window, as if being closer to the outside world was going to somehow make her magically appear.
When seven thirty hit, my heart sank.
And the half-hour until eight was probably the most excruciating, because eight o’clock was the time I’d internally decided to give up on any chance of her showing. I’d told the registration desk to expect her, instructing them to give her a key so she could come right up to the room. I toyed with the idea of calling downstairs to make sure there wasn’t a mix-up, that she wasn’t waiting for me down there. But who was I kidding? If she were here and unable to check in, someone would’ve called me. She would’ve called me. So, no. Calling the front desk wasn’t going to help this hopeless situation.
I lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. It was time I started accepting the fact that Hazel wasn’t coming. That hurt like a motherfucker. And the more it started to set in, the more I just couldn’t accept it. Losing Brady as a friend was one thing. That sucked, and the way things had ended with us was something I’d always regret. But Hazel was the love of my life.
The love of my life.
Wow.
It felt strange to acknowledge that now—when it was apparently too late. I’d loved Zoe deeply. And maybe it wasn’t fair to compare my feelings for Zoe with how I felt about Hazel. They’re two different people, and my love for each of them was unique. But I felt like Hazel was the person I was meant to be with. And losing her made me realize just how much I did love her. It felt like she was holding a part of me I’d never get back.
I forced myself up to a sitting position. I must have sat at the edge of the bed with my head in my hands for an hour straight.
Then something happened. A surge of adrenaline seemed to come out of nowhere—an inner strength powered by love.
No fucking way you’re giving up like this.
Grow some balls and go get your woman back.
In that moment, I started to gather my things in a hurry, pretty sure I was about to head to the airport and ask for the first flight to Connecticut or New York City.
I wasn’t going to give up on us until I had a chance to explain my rationale for not telling her about Brady’s cheating. I owed it to her and myself to make sure she understood where I’d been coming from, and that I never meant to hurt her. And if she still couldn’t trust me, at least I’d know I’d done everything I could.
I’d just gathered all of my stuff when there was a knock at the door.
I rushed to see who it was.
When I opened, the sight of her nearly knocked me on my ass.
Hazel.
She looked tired, disheveled, and was…holding a kitten?
Why?
I didn’t care. I stood there in awe, filled with hope.
Because goddammit, she was here. My Hazel was here.
Still in utter disbelief, my words came out in a whisper. “You’re here.”
She nodded silently, still clutching the kitten.
What the hell?
After she set the kitten down on the rug, I pulled her into my arms.
I spoke into her hair. “I was just about to leave. Thank God I didn’t.”
“Where were you going?”
“To Connecticut. To you.”
I wiped a tear from her eye. She looked drained.
“What happened to you, Hazel?”
“It’s a long story. Can you kiss me first?”
“Fuck yes, I can.”
I couldn’t take her mouth fast enough, letting out an exasperated breath that she likely felt at the back of her throat. With each second that passed as I devoured her lips, I realized it didn’t matter why she was late, why there was a random kitten here, or why her hair looked like she’d been electrocuted.