“Everything okay now?”
“Now that you’re here, yes.” She smiled.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d be up.”
“I don’t think I would have been able to sleep tonight anyway.”
Me, neither.
“What happened exactly to upset you?”
“I really don’t want to talk about it, if that’s okay. It has to do with work.”
The fuck it does. Speaking of those white lies we talked about earlier…
Rubbing my hands along the tops of her arms, I said, “Look, I really can’t stay. I just…”
Needed to make sure you were okay.
Needed to see you.
Needed to touch you.
I continued, “I just wanted to say hello, to let you know I was thinking about you.”
And to say goodbye.
She looked panicked. “When will I see you again?”
“I’m not sure. Work has been crazy.”
And Jay needs to die.
Bianca hesitated for a while before she finally said, “I really don’t want to be alone tonight. Will you lie with me?” When I didn’t respond, she leaned in and gently kissed me, then said, “Please?”
There was nothing else in the world I wanted more.
Unable to come up with a legitimate reason to refuse, I nodded. “Yeah. Sure.”
Bianca led me to her bedroom. It felt surreal. A yellow legal pad sat atop the nightstand. I suspected that was the side of the bed where she lay whenever she was chatting with Dex. It took everything in me not to lean over to try to see what was written down. I figured there might have been some obscenities from earlier tonight.
Bianca got into bed, and I slipped in behind her. Several minutes passed as we just lay there together. My mouth was against her back, and I let the sound of her breathing soothe me. It was as if I could feel her thoughts through each breath. I knew in my heart that despite the fact that she was enjoying the warmth of Jay’s body, she was thinking about the real me, about Dex.
It all seemed innocent enough until she backed her soft ass into my dick. She intentionally rubbed against me, causing a raging hard on. After a few more times, I realized she was doing it to egg me on. Fuck, it was working. I continued to let her slowly grind against me. There was a word for this in high school: dry humping. I should have known that there was no way I could innocently sleep next to this woman.
Ready to explode in my jeans, I said, “Stop.”
She turned around and whispered over my lips, “You don’t want me?”
My body was in turmoil. She wanted to fuck me. And I wanted to be inside of her more than anything. But I just couldn’t. I could never consider sleeping with her until she knew the truth.
I got up and ran my hand through my hair. “I need to leave.”
She hopped up from the bed. “I’m sorry. I got carried away. It’s been a long time. I thought you wanted it, figured that’s why you came here so late. So, I wanted to let you know that it would be okay…if you wanted to. But it’s fine.”
My voice was louder than I intended. “I do want to…God, I do. But you really need to be careful, Bianca. You don’t even really know me.”
She let out a bitter laugh, “You’re warning me against you?”
“No.”
Fuck yes, I am.
I continued, “I just don’t want to move too fast with you. And I just think we…should get to know each other better first.”
Even though I know almost everything there is to know about you.
Letting out a deep breath, I went on. “But since I really can’t resist you, I think the best thing for me to do is to go home tonight, then take you out again properly. You’re not some booty call to me, Bianca.”
She placed her hands over her face and spoke into them. “You’re right. I was just…feeling like I needed it tonight.”
I know.
Because of me.
My chest hurt. I needed to get out of here before I admitted everything. She wasn’t in the right state of mind for the truth tonight.
Kissing her softly on the forehead, I said, “I’ll call you soon, okay?”
She simply nodded before walking me to the door.
Try to whittle your way out of this one, douchebag.
Feeling like an absolute asshole, I drove home in my Jeep vowing that after tonight, Jay was dead.The next morning at the office, I was distracted, to say the least. Cancelling all my meetings for the day, I did something I almost never did. I went home and did nothing.
Sitting on my couch, I watched the clock, anxious for my chat with Bianca later. Only nine more hours to go. Dread filled me.
Should I tell her tonight?
I picked up the phone and decided to dial the one person who I knew could relate to what I was going through right now.