Luca closed her eyes for a minute in an attempt to keep calm. When she opened them, I smiled.
“That’s my girl. Okay . . . here we go. First, we drive to New York. We do that late tomorrow night so the roads are empty. I reserved an Airbnb on the Lower East Side—it’s a two-story brownstone, and I took both floors so there wouldn’t be anyone else in the building but us. The place has a nice big desk that looks out a window where you can work while we’re there. We’ll stay there Thursday through Tuesday. I’ll do a day trip to Connecticut on Saturday and come back at night. You can write while I’m gone. Sunday we can spend the day in bed, maybe trying out some of those things I can’t wait to do to you and watching old movies. Monday you’ll work while I go do the last of the radio shows, and then we’ll drive to Detroit at night before going on to Chicago. After that, we drive back to Vermont and stay here for a week. My assistant will pack up my guitars and send them here, and he found a studio that I can use to practice during the day so I’m not loud during your writing time. The tour comes after that, but we use the next two weeks to ease into things, and we won’t worry about that schedule for a while.”
Luca’s eyes started to well up. I pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. “Talk to me,” I said. “Tell me what you’re thinking?”
One big, fat tear rolled down her cheek. It caused an ache in my chest as I wiped it from her beautiful face.
“I want to. I really, really want to. But I’m afraid, Griff. What if I have a meltdown in the middle of the trip?”
“What if you don’t have a meltdown and you have a great time?”
She frowned and closed her eyes. “You’re the sweetest. But I’m serious. I don’t think you fully understand how debilitating a real panic attack can be. Simply making plans causes an irrational amount of stress for me. I don’t just have anxiety the minutes before walking into a building, Griffin. I obsess over the possibility of even having a panic attack. It’s all I can think about when I know I have to do things that I’m uncomfortable doing. Every day my fear builds and builds until I get to a place where I start to crack.”
“How about if we take it one day at a time, then? Just go with me for one night. Don’t plan to stay two. After day one is done, you can decide how you feel about the next day. I can drive you back at any point.”
“I don’t know, Griff. You have a schedule. You don’t have time to run your agoraphobic girlfriend home if she becomes a basket case.”
I felt like I was starting to lose the battle. “Don’t worry about my time. A relationship is about give and take. You’ll be going outside of your comfort zone for me because I want you with me, and if I need to take a day and run you home, then that’s what we’ll do. My mum used to have a saying about relationships. To be honest, I never quite understood it, but I think that it’s because I never had a real relationship before.”
“What was the saying?”
“She used to say, What comes easy won’t last long, and what lasts long won’t come easy.”
Luca smiled sadly. “Your mom was a smart woman.”
“She was.” I cupped my girl’s cheeks. “So what do you say? Will you give it a try? We’ll start with one day and see how we do.”
She looked back and forth between my eyes. I could see the sheer terror in her face. But I knew we could make it work together. She wrapped her hand around my wrist while I held her face. “Can I think about it?”
Just then the doorbell rang. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
“Oh God. I’m not dressed, and I wasn’t expecting any company.”
“I’m expecting company.” I cradled Luca in my arms and stood, taking her with me. “Go put some clothes on. I borrowed your phone to call Doc. I invited him over.”
Her brows furrowed. “Doc? Why?”
I kissed her nose before setting her down on the floor. “Because I knew you would need someone to talk to about what I just asked you.”
Luca graced me with a real smile this time. She pushed up on her toes. “I really do love you, Griffin.”
“I love you, too. Now go get dressed so you can talk through stuff with Birdman, and we can get back to our plans for tonight.”
“Plans?”
“You’ve forgotten so soon? Drinking, fucking, and naked pizza in bed.”