The second photo album featured photos of her teenage years. It didn’t take me long to stumble upon the one I’d been looking for: the first photo of Hollis and Bree. Anna. They were at the beach, and Hollis had his arm around her. Bree wore a bikini and Hollis had on board shorts. They looked happy as could be with the sunshine bearing down on them.
It was surreal to see them together, my best friend and my boyfriend. They loved each other. Or at least Hollis loved her. That was evident from the way he smiled at her in the next picture I came upon. They were sitting under a tree. It was a candid shot, as if someone had happened to notice the way he was looking at her. God, this hurts.
Hollis had an innocence about him in these photos that no longer existed. By the time I met him, he was hardened by loss. The guy in these photos was most definitely long gone. I kept turning the pages. More photos of them together. Some of them kissing. Lots of them laughing. A prom photo. Graduation. They’d been through a lot together. I wondered if they’d been each other’s firsts.
Why, Bree? Why did you keep this from me? I’d opened up to her so much about my attraction to Hollis, about my developing feelings. Had she not made the connection, or was she hoping it wasn’t true so as not to disrupt my life?
She hadn’t wanted to meet him that weekend he’d stayed over in Connecticut. I remember feeling like that was odd, even though I’d chalked it up to her poor health. Did she suspect something and not want to find out the truth? Or did she know the truth?
I had to wonder if things with Hollis and me would ever be the same again. Could we survive this?
I closed the photo album. These questions had to take a back seat for now. Because Bree was fighting for her life. Did anything else really matter?***The hallways of the hospital were quiet, except for an older man singing a Johnny Cash song as he mopped the floor outside the elevator on the fourth floor. It wasn’t quite 7AM, but the ICU had no visiting hours, and I couldn’t sleep. I thought Richard might be here, though I didn’t expect to see anyone else this early.
Arriving at the closed double doors, I rubbed some Purell into my hands and pressed the button to open them. The nurses’ station was subdued, and I stopped when I saw the same woman who had been checking on Bree before I left.
“You’re back quickly,” she said.
“I am. I couldn’t sleep. How’s she doing?”
The nurse offered a sad smile. “Brianna’s about the same. I just took her vitals and made sure she was comfortable a half hour ago.”
Brianna.
I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to that. The name sat like a weight on my chest because of all the implications…Brianna. Hollis’s Anna. Oh, God. I rubbed at my breastbone. Huey’s Anna, too.
“Okay. Thank you. Is it alright if I visit with her now?”
“Of course. We’re going to change shifts in a little while, so you and your brother will need to step out for about an hour then. But right now is fine.”
“My brother?”
She lifted her chin toward the opposite side of the room where Bree’s bed was. “He’s been here for almost a half hour already. Doesn’t look like he slept much either.”
I followed her line of sight, expecting to see Tobias, and a lump formed in my throat.
Hollis.
He sat beside Bree’s bed. His hair stuck up all over the place; one look and I knew he’d spent the last few hours tugging at it. But what was he doing here so early? It was a two-hour drive each way back and forth to the city, and we’d only left in the middle of the night. He couldn’t have gone home and back. I felt like I might get sick. Had Hollis dropped me off at home so he could rush back and be alone with Bree?
That thought brought so many emotions—sadness, confusion. I hated myself for feeling it, but there was definitely some jealousy mixed in, too.
I watched from a distance, unsure what to do. Did I go over and join him? Go sit in the waiting room and give him some time alone? Leave and come back?
After a few minutes of attempting to figure out the right answer, I realized there really was none for this situation. So I took a deep breath and decided to go over and check on him. I’d ask him if he wanted to be alone. I didn’t want to hide that I was here, and I also needed to see my best friend—even if just for a few minutes.