RavenIt took me another half hour before I had the courage to press send.
After I finally did, I slammed the cover of my laptop and collapsed on the floor in a puddle of tears. I was pretty sure Gavin was the one—the love of my life.
The one thing Ruth was right about? This choice was mine. I’d made the choice that was right for my mother, and for Gavin, in the long run. And I could never tell either of them.
This would be my dirty little secret. Well, mine and Ruth’s. After all, I’d just made a deal with the devil.CHAPTER FOURTEEN* * *GAVINI couldn’t believe what I was fucking seeing. One moment I’m showering, getting ready to go over to my girlfriend’s house to check on her, and the next she sends me a breakup message that doesn’t even sound like her.
What in the actual fuck?
WHAT THE FUCK?
The more I looked at it, the madder I became. I was so angry I was shaking.
Throwing a shirt on, I stormed out of my room in search of my mother. This had her name written all over it.
I found her in her bedroom. “Mother!”
“What’s gotten into you, Gavin?”
“What did you do?” I spat out.
“What on Earth are you talking about?”
“Did you say something to Raven?”
“No. Why? When do I even see that girl anymore?”
“You swear you didn’t do or say anything to upset her?”
“Why would I concern myself with her? You’re not seeing her anymore, right?”
“Right,” I muttered.
Sadly, that was apparently the case now.
I examined her eyes. There was no hint of dishonesty in them. If anything, she looked a little concerned for me. Either my mother deserved an Academy Award, or she was telling the truth.
I walked away in a huff, unsure what to do next. I needed to calm down before going to Raven’s. There was no way I’d disappear from her life without questioning her when she’d broken up with me through a damn email message.
An email.
Are you kidding me, Raven?
I needed her to look me in the eyes and tell me the same things that were in that message. If she could look me in the face and tell me she didn’t care about me anymore, I would walk away—as hard as that might be.
I couldn’t believe this was happening. It didn’t even feel real. It felt like being in the middle of a nightmare.
I picked up the phone and dialed Marni.
She answered, “Yo.”
“Hey. Have you spoken to Raven?”
“Not for a few days. Why?”
“Because she just fucking broke up with me in an email.”
“What?”
“Yeah.”
“That doesn’t sound like her at all.”
“I know.”
After a long pause, she said, “Well, shit. I’m sorry, Rich Boy. I really am.”
“Can you do me a favor? Will you talk to her and tell me what she says?”
“I’m at work, but I can call her. I won’t lie to her, though. I’ll tell her you asked me to call her.”
I’d have to accept that. “I don’t care. That’s fine. I just need you to find out whatever you can before I go over there. If this is really what she wants, I have to accept it. But fuck, Marni, I didn’t see this coming. I want to throw up right now.”
“Damn, Gav. Don’t do that. Let me see what I can find out.”
“Okay. Thanks. I appreciate it.”
I spent the next half hour pacing across my room. How could I have been so stupid? Why didn’t I see that she wasn’t happy?
When the phone rang, I practically leaped across the room to pick it up off my desk.
“Hey, Marni. Talk to me.”
“So...I did speak to her.”
Something about the tone of her voice made my stomach churn even worse.
My mouth felt dry. “Okay...”
“And, man, I don’t know. She sounded really out of it, to be honest.”
“Out of it?”
“Yeah…like, numb.”
“What did she tell you?”
“She said she’d had a change of heart when it came to you, that things were moving too fast. She swore nothing else was going on.” She paused. “She said she meant what she wrote.”
Those words obliterated my last shred of hope. I raked my hand through my hair. “I can’t believe she wouldn’t tell me to my face. Do you think I’m crazy for needing to see her to believe it?”
“Nah, man. I think that’s completely understandable. I’m shocked, too. She’s my best friend. You’d think I would’ve seen this coming.”
“Yeah. I guess you never really know sometimes.”
“Shit. I gotta go,” she said. “The manager just got here. Text me if you need anything. Good luck.”
“Thanks. I’m gonna need it.”***It took me a full half hour before I could get out of my car to knock on Raven’s window. I figured if she wasn’t in her room, I’d go to the front door. The window thing had become more a habit than anything else. It wasn’t about hiding from Renata anymore.