The pilot came on the intercom.
“We’re beginning our descent into Heathrow Airport. At this time, please ensure your seatbacks and tray tables are in an upright position and that your seatbelt is correctly fastened. Also, at this time, please ensure all electronic devices remain in airplane mode. We appreciate your cooperation and thank you for choosing British Airways.”
I was so ready to exit this plane, but part of me wanted to stay in the air indefinitely. That would ensure I would always have this hope. It hit me that I was going to see Gavin tonight. Once I touched down and learned the truth, whatever it might be, there would be no going back.
As I started to feel the plane descend, not only did my ears pop, but my heart raced beyond belief.
“Nervous flier?” the guy sitting next to me asked. “We’ll be okay.”
He’d misinterpreted my nervousness.
Rather than explain, I simply said, “Thank you. I hope so.”
When we touched down, my hands started to tremble.
“You’re good. We’re safe.” He smiled.
God bless this man for trying to pacify me, but it was going to take a lot more than that.
After we pulled to the gate, I was grateful for the long line to get off of the plane. More fear filled me with every step I took. Stuck for a moment in aisle gridlock while a man helped an old lady retrieve her bags from the overhead, panic welled in my throat, but I managed to avert a full attack.
Finally off the plane, I made my way to customs, where the process was surprisingly quick.
After that, I took my time walking through the airport. My legs felt wobbly as I looked around. What was I looking for? A sign with my name? Gavin? Was he even picking me up, or would there be a driver?
There was no one waiting for me as far as I could see.
A name was called out on the overhead speaker. Someone was apparently looking for a lost loved one.
I could relate.
For a split second, I wondered if being here was all a dream. This would be a typical point to wake up, if that were the case.
The man who’d been sitting next to me on the plane had reunited with whom I assumed were his wife and little girl. I smiled at the girl’s excitement to see her dad. But my happy thoughts quickly faded into another rush of anxiety.
No one was here for me.
I rode the escalator to baggage claim. Several flights must have landed at the same time because a swarm of people had gathered. All alone in a new country, I felt like a lost child searching for my parents in a sea of strangers. I couldn’t even find the conveyor belt assigned to my flight.
At a loss, I broke out into tears. I knew it had nothing to do with being lost and everything to do with my fear of what was to come. Wiping my eyes, I looked to my left, and in the distance, I spotted him. His eyes had definitely been on me, which meant he’d likely seen me wipe my tears. My heart felt like it was leaping out of my chest to get to him. He wore a leather jacket reminiscent of the one he’d worn the very first day I saw him, and he began weaving in and out of people as fast as he could go.
With every foot closer he came, the more certain I was that I couldn’t handle bad news. I didn’t even want to leave this airport if it meant having to acknowledge I’d lost any chance with him forever.
When he finally got to me, he was out of breath. “You’re really here.” He placed his warm hands on my arms. “Why are you crying?”
“Because I’m scared.”
“Why are you scared?”
I panicked. “Because I love you. And I don’t want to lose you again. I don’t know what you’re about to tell me. All I know is I love you, Gavin, even if you love someone else. I’ll never stop. I’ll always love you.”
His eyes glistened as he wrapped his hands around my face. “Raven...do you think I would tell you to get on a plane and come all the way here, just to say I’m in love with someone else? I would never do that to you.” He leaned in and kissed my forehead, and the comfort felt better than anything. “I’m so sorry you were waiting for me. There was an accident tying up traffic. I got here as fast as I could.”
Calm swept over me, the feelings of panic replaced by knowledge that I was safe. It was the most euphoric sensation in the world.
He took a deep breath in and placed his forehead against mine. “I thought maybe we’d have some time to ease into this conversation, but fuck it. Apparently, I need to say this right now.” His warm hands rubbed over my shoulders.