“Good morning,” I said, breathing the nutty scent of the java.
“Good morning, beautiful.” Noah pulled me into an embrace and held me so tightly I could barely breathe.
Speaking into his chest, I said, “I can’t believe this day is finally here. I don’t feel ready.”
“I’ll never feel ready.”
Things were still unclear between us. Noah refused to put a label on what we were or make any promises aside from his general vow to “always be there for me if I needed him.” That didn’t define whether or not we were in a relationship. He’d be there if I really needed him someday, but whether he’d be there for me during all the days in between was still unknown.
The lack of definition was intentional; I knew that. And I didn’t want to waste our last day pushing the issue or analyzing things. I just wanted to be with him and cherish every second.
“So I was thinking we could take a drive today,” he said.
“Where to?”
“Wherever the wind takes us as long as I’m with my favorite girl.”
I felt on the verge of crying. It wasn’t going to take much. I’d probably be losing it on and off throughout the day.
Something I’d forgotten about popped into my head.
“Katy wants to take you to dinner to thank you for all your help. I didn’t give her an answer because I wasn’t sure how you wanted to spend your last night.”
“That’s nice of her.”
“Yeah. But we don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.”
“As long as you’re there, I’m good with it. Pretty much gonna be stuck to you like glue today.”
That made me warm inside but sad, too. “Okay, I’ll tell her it’s a go. We don’t have to stay long.”
“We’ll be out all day, so we can meet her somewhere on our way back. Is your mom going, too?”
“I have a feeling she’s going to try. She keeps telling me how much she’s gonna miss you.”
My eyes suddenly filled with tears. The random crying had commenced.
Noah surprised me by placing his hand on my chin and bringing my mouth into his. Well, that’s one way to stop me from crying. It was the first time he’d kissed me since the one night we’d spent together. Apparently, on his last day he had no fucks left to give. I was thankful, because his kiss was my oxygen right now. I’d forgotten how damn good it felt.
His warm lips covered mine, and I immediately went in search of his tongue. With his taste and smell flooding my senses, I felt my body go limp. With every push of his tongue against mine, my panties got wetter. If we’d been a smoldering fire the past several weeks, he’d just poured on the gasoline.
After forcing himself back, he cradled my face. “Fuck, I missed kissing you,” he rasped before planting one more on my lips.
Smacking his chest playfully, I said, “That didn’t make this any easier, you know. But by all means, keep making my day more difficult.”***We ended up at a place I’d never considered.
Noah drove us to an amusement park about an hour away. We spent the car ride reminiscing about the summer as he held my hand. He introduced me to some of his favorite music, bands like Cake and Audioslave.
I’d never been more uncertain about the future, but I cared more about this man than I’d ever cared about anyone or anything. That was scary. No matter what happened after tomorrow, at the very least, I hoped to God I would see him again. I was crazy about him, and if he’d told me to hang everything up, run away to Vegas and marry him, I probably would have said yes.
That insane thinking was precisely why he’d say I needed to go away for a while, that I didn’t know what I really wanted. I guess time would tell, but my money was on my feelings getting stronger with distance between us.
The afternoon at the park was a blast. We rode all of the big rides and ate some greasy food. Our time on the roller coaster reminded me of our very relationship, all of the ups and downs, twists and turns.
It was the first time since Noah’s arrival in New Hampshire that we’d truly let loose away from home like this. It was a shame we didn’t have time to visit more places together.
My favorite parts of the day, though, were the moments when we walked through the park holding hands. He must have known I needed his touch today.
Toward the end of the afternoon, we passed a little house where psychic readings were offered. I’d never been into visiting a fortune teller, but if there was ever a time in my life that I hoped for some answers about the future, it was now.