Hate Notes - Page 80
“Of course,” Dr. Cohen said. “You take your time and get your family together. We’re not rushing you. Your mother is comfortable. She just has no reasonable prospect of a meaningful recovery at this point. So it’s a matter of time, and the time needs to be right for you and your family. If I felt that she was suffering, I’d push harder. But take a day or two and give it some thought.” He dug in the breast pocket of his white coat and took out a business card and a pen. Jotting something on the back, he offered it to Jason. “My cell phone is on the back. If you or your family has any questions, just give me a call. Anytime. I’ll be back tomorrow morning to check in on everything.”
“Thank you,” we all said, one after the other.
After taking a few minutes in the hall to talk without the doctors, the three of us went back into Lydia’s room. I sensed that Jason needed some time alone, so I asked Reed to take a walk with me and told my brother that I’d pick us up some lunch.
The Texas heat was thick outside of the hospital. Both of us seemed lost in thought as we walked side by side on the path around the building. “I need to call Iris,” I said. “I feel terrible taking time off when I’ve only been there a few months, but I can’t leave.”
“Of course. And no need to call her unless you want to talk. I’ve kept in touch with her, and she knows what’s going on. We had a long-term temp before Iris hired you, so I contacted the agency she was with to see if she’s available for a thirty-day assignment. I figured you would need some time here”—he looked at me—“and after.”
“Thank you.” I shook my head. “I honestly don’t know how to thank you for everything, Reed. For finding her, for taking me here, for staying with me, for holding me while I sleep. None of this would be possible without you.”
“Stop thanking me, Charlotte. If the roles were reversed, you would’ve done the same for me. I’m sure of it.”
We walked in comfortable silence twice around the hospital. But I couldn’t stop thinking about all that Reed had done for me. He was absolutely right that if the roles were reversed and I could help him, I would. Which made me think about the value of my previous relationship.
After four years with my ex-fiancé, I was lucky if Todd brought me chicken soup from the Chinese restaurant when I was sick. And he had to pass the restaurant on his way over to my place. Reed had put his life on hold because I needed him in mine. I wasn’t even sure when he’d made hotel arrangements or spoken to Iris—he must’ve been doing things while I slept so he could give me his full attention while I was awake. I’d noticed that he didn’t spend his time scrolling through his phone when we were together. Another thing Todd wasn’t capable of doing for me. God, that Allison is a moron. Reed gave fully and unconditionally—even to me, whom he wasn’t planning on promising his heart to, for better and for worse.
Unfortunately, the more I thought about how generous he was, the more I realized I’d monopolized enough of his time already. Reed worked ten to twelve hours a day, normally. Our little trip would have him backed up for weeks. “You should be getting back to New York. I’ll be okay on my own.”
“I’m not leaving you here alone, Charlotte.”
“Really . . . I’m fine.”
Reed flashed a face that said bullshit. “I hate to tell you, but you’re not fine on a normal day, Darling.”
I laughed. “That’s true. But you can’t stay here and hold my hand forever. We have no idea how long it will be. It could be weeks.”
Reed stopped. It took me a few paces to realize I was walking alone. When I turned back, he said, “Do you want me here with you?”
“Of course. But you have to work. You’ve already done so much.”
“I can handle a lot of my work remotely.”
“Not showings, you can’t.”
“I have staff that can fill in for me. I’m here as long as you need me.” He held out his hand. “And I rather enjoy holding your hand, if you want the truth.”
I placed my hand in his and walked the two steps to close the distance between us. Pushing up on my tippy-toes, I kissed his cheek, then whispered in his ear, “That Allison . . . total fucking moron.”Nine days after we’d arrived in Houston, Lydia Van der Kamp died at 11:03 p.m. on a Sunday. Reed, Jason, my youngest brother, Justin, and I were all at her bedside when she simply took her last breath. It had been less than twenty-four hours since they’d removed her from the ventilator.
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