“My father died.”
I put my hand on my heart.
Oh no.
No.
Tears filled my eyes. Not knowing what else to do, I held him. “Oh, Ryder.”
He looked up at me in a daze, like he couldn’t believe he was saying the words. “Heart attack. His housekeeper found him this morning. She called Lorena to get in touch with me. It happened in his sleep.”
“Oh my God,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry.”
The right words completely escaped me. I knew better than anyone that life could change in an instant. I knew how devastating it was to lose someone so suddenly. Ryder was an only child. His mother had already passed. His father was his entire world. I couldn’t even begin to imagine the pain he felt.
He held on to me for dear life. “I don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do, Eden.”
I wished I knew how to respond. His pain was palpable—so much so that my own body physically ached.
“I have to get on the next plane,” he muttered.
He got up and ventured into my bedroom.
Feeling totally helpless, I asked, “Are you okay to drive to the airport? I’ll wake Ollie, and we can drive you there in your rental.”
“No. Don’t do that. I don’t want to upset him. I’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure?”
He exhaled. “Physically, anyway. Yeah.”
The hurt in my chest was almost too much to bear. “I’d do anything to make this go away right now. Please tell me what I can do for you.”
Ryder hadn’t brought anything with him, since his trip out here was impulsive. He’d gone to the store yesterday to buy a few items of clothing for the rest of the weekend, along with a small duffel bag.
I followed him around the room like a lost puppy as he grabbed his things.
We walked to the door together in silence. I knew I would never forget this moment. It was utterly heartbreaking.
Not wanting to let him go, I kissed him harder than I ever had. The words I love you were at the tip of my tongue. I wanted so badly to say them, but I was afraid to make this moment about me or anything else. I also didn’t want him to associate the first time I said it with his father’s death. This was neither the time nor place to introduce those words.
He opened the front door, then lingered at the threshold as he rested his forehead against mine.
“Please keep in touch with me,” I said. “Call or text me if you don’t feel like talking. Just let me know you’re okay.”
Tears fell down my cheeks and onto his. He wiped them with his thumb before kissing me one last time. It felt like a tornado of sadness was spinning inside of me.
And then he was gone.***I was staring at Ryder’s full cup of now-cold coffee still sitting on my table when Ollie finally woke up and walked into the kitchen.
“I don’t hear Ryder,” he said.
A part of me wanted to keep what had happened from him, because I was afraid it would hit too close to home. There was really no way I could do that, though. I needed to tell him.
“Come here, Ollie.”
“What happened? Did you fight with him?”
“No. Come here. Sit on my lap. I have to tell you something.”
He could tell by the tone of my voice that something was wrong. “What happened?”
I just came out with it. “Ryder’s dad died.”
His breath hitched. “What? Oh no.”
“I know. It was sudden. Just happened last night.”
“How?”
“He had a heart attack.”
He took a few moments to process before he asked, “Is Ryder sad?”
“Yes. I think he’s still in shock.”
“Was he crying?” he asked.
“No,” I whispered.
Ollie’s eyes opened. He kept them closed a lot, but sometimes when he was stressed, he would open them. “What can we do, Eden?”
“We just have to let him know we care and that we’ll be here for him if he needs us.”
He paused before wiping his eye quickly. He didn’t want me to notice he was crying.
“It’s okay to cry,” I said. “I know how much you care about Ryder.”
Rubbing his back, I let him process his thoughts.
He finally turned to face me. “He doesn’t have anyone. We lost Mom, but I have you, and you have me. Ryder doesn’t have anyone.”
Ollie’s genuine concern both broke my heart and warmed it. I knew Ryder had spoken to my brother about them both losing their mothers.
“We’re not his family, but we can be here for him. He’ll be okay, Ollie. It will just take time. A lot of time. It’s gonna be really hard for him for a while.”
So much of Ryder’s life revolved around his father. I knew in my heart he was never going to be the same.***Ryder texted me to let me know he’d returned to Los Angeles safely. Other than that, I hadn’t heard from him and didn’t expect to for a while. I’d sent him a lengthy email to let him know I was thinking of him. I knew I needed to give him space while he dealt with everything back home.