“You’re right. There’s no sense in even thinking about it further if we haven’t talked it over with him.”
She wrapped her arms around my neck. “I love you for wanting to look into it.”
“I’d do anything for you and him. You know that. I don’t want him to ever feel like I didn’t do enough when I could’ve helped.”
When we arrived in Malibu, it was shaping up to be the perfect beach day—not a cloud in the sky and just the right amount of current. The ocean had become Ollie’s favorite place—the relaxing sounds of the waves, the feel of the water, and the texture of the sand. It was sensory overload. It was therefore an ironic place to broach the subject we were about to put forth.
Ollie and I had just come back to the shore to have lunch. As we sat down on the beach blanket, I looked over at Eden before I addressed him, “Can I talk to you about something?”
“You don’t usually ask me permission.”
“You’re right. But this is important.”
He shrugged. “Okay.”
Eden moved in closer to sit next to him and placed her hand on his leg. I took in some of the salty air before I started talking.
“I feel guilty sometimes that you can’t see the things we can, even though I know you don’t feel like you’re missing out because not seeing is all you know. I sometimes have to stop myself and understand that your experiences, while not the same as ours, are not necessarily less. They’re just different. But because we care so much about you, I want to make sure I do everything in my power to help you live your best life. I feel like that’s my responsibility, my calling.”
Eden unwrapped a sandwich and handed it to him. He took a bite and ate quietly while I continued.
“So, I went to speak to a doctor, a world-renowned eye specialist, one my mother used to see, actually. Eden came with me, and we took all of your medical records. He let us know that there are some experimental surgeries available now that weren’t around when you were younger. He said we might be able to look into some of those if you were ever interested. Nothing would be guaranteed, but if they could help you see, even a little…”
The breeze blew Ollie’s longish hair around. He stopped chewing and opened his eyes. I suspected he was stressed.
“We don’t have to talk about this if you don’t want to, Ollie,” I said.
“No, I’m listening,” he answered.
“I never want you to misinterpret why I looked into this. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you are. I want to make that clear. I’m not looking to fix you in any way. I just want you to know there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do and no amount of money I wouldn’t pay to try to help you see if you decided you wanted to take that chance.”
After some silence, he asked, “What else did the doctor say?”
“He said he didn’t think it would be possible for you to see fully, but that one of these experimental surgeries might allow you some limited vision—like seeing shadows and movements, things like that. He said we couldn’t expect a miracle, and there was also a chance that even if you qualified for the surgeries and went through with one or more of them, they might not work at all. So there would be a lot to consider. You by no means have to make any kind of a decision right now. I’m just throwing it out there.”
“Okay,” he said.
“I’m not gonna say anything else, because this day is supposed to be about relaxing and enjoying the beach. I’ll always be looking out for you in any way I can.”
He nodded. “Because you’re my brad.”
Brad?
“Your what?”
“Like my brother and my dad. Brother-dad—brad.”
My mouth curved into a smile. “I’ve never heard you say that before. Is that what you call me?”
“It is now…if you want.”
I could feel my eyes starting to well up. “Of course, I want to be your brad. I love it. I think it’s the perfect name.”
He took another bite, then spoke with his mouth full. “Me, too.”CHAPTER THIRTY* * *EDENRyder seemed really anxious tonight, and I couldn’t figure out why. I’d gotten a rare night off from waitressing, and he’d brought me to one of his favorite restaurants in downtown L.A., but he was really aggravated when the table he’d reserved wasn’t ready when we arrived.
“What the fuck good is calling ahead if you have to wait?”
“It’s okay, baby,” I said, rubbing his back.
Nothing calmed him. “No, it’s not.”
We’d been particularly busy lately, and it had been a while since we’d gone out to eat alone. With my busy school schedule and work, most of our spare time was spent hanging out with Ollie.