“Take me to your room,” she said.
“Now? We haven’t eaten yet.”
Then it hit me. What was I smoking? Crack? Had I become hormonal like Gia with the pregnancy? Why was I questioning it? Hello? She wanted to have sex. Giddy up!
She spoke over my lips. “Yes. Now.”
“You don’t have to ask me twice.”
When it came to wanting sex, she’d gone from cold last night to completely hot today. Fuck if I was gonna complain about that. I was either going to fuck her tonight or fall off the wagon smoking an entire carton, so I was happy she was in the mood.
I carried her upstairs to my bed. As I hovered over her, she spread her legs wide open.
“Look at you…all ready,” I teased.
Gia was super wet lately. She always said being pregnant made her arousal ten times stronger, and she wasn’t kidding. She was so incredibly lubricated when I sank into her, and it felt damn phenomenal. It had only been a little more than a day, but it had seemed like forever since I’d felt this.
She pulled me so tight against her as I fucked her good and hard. I couldn’t help but feel like she was holding onto me for dear life.I hadn’t told a single soul. And it was eating away at me.
As Rush slept, I just kept staring at his handsome face wondering how many more mornings I would have like this, where I would wake up feeling protected and loved, where Rush wouldn’t be broken and devastated.
Last night had been so amazing, but it was tainted by the enormous guilt I felt. After we made love, Rush served me the most delicious lasagna. Then we watched a movie while eating ice cream out of the container. He gave me a foot massage until I fell asleep on the couch. He must have carried me to bed because I don’t even remember how I got here.
Now it was morning, and the sun was pouring in through the French doors that led out to the balcony. The waves of the nearby ocean were crashing amidst the sound of the seagulls’ morning call. Waking up at Rush’s place was heaven. I cherished each and every second of this peace. But it was bittersweet, knowing that the calm would likely be short-lived.
I went back and forth on how to handle things. Some moments, I was pondering never telling him the truth. Others, I couldn’t fathom keeping this secret. For a millisecond, I’d even considered running away and never coming back because I couldn’t deal with the shame.
A part of me did wonder whether I could get away with never saying anything, that maybe Elliott would never question the baby, and that everyone would just assume it was Rush’s child.
The other part of me, the much bigger part, knew that I couldn’t live with this secret for the rest of my life. It would kill me. Every time I would look into Rush’s trusting eyes, a piece of me would slowly die from the guilt. Protecting Rush was my number-one priority. Not to mention, if Elliott ever said anything about his tryst with me, Rush would put two and two together. Elliott could very well hold this over me until just the right moment to unleash it. He couldn’t ever be trusted.
There was no way out. I had to tell Rush that his brother was the father of my baby. I cringed at the thought, unable to even think those words. It was just unfathomable. It didn’t matter how many times I’d said it to myself, it just didn’t seem real.
I felt like I needed to confide in someone first, but there were very few people I trusted—basically Rush and my father. Riley was a good friend, but I couldn’t risk even the small chance that she would tell someone. Confessing the pregnancy to her had been one thing. But this? No.
It was becoming clearer and clearer to me: I had to tell my father everything.
Rush’s body stirred, snapping me out of my thoughts. He rolled over and pulled me in for a kiss. He was gloriously hard as he often was when he woke up.
“You slept well,” I said.
His voice was groggy. “You didn’t?”
“Not really. I’ve had a lot on my mind and terrible heartburn kept me up.”
More like heartbreak.
He suddenly got up from the bed.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“I’m going to get something. Be right back.”
When he returned to the room, he was carrying another doll, but this one looked exactly like a real baby. And it wasn’t ugly at all.
“What is that?”
He looked down at it and chuckled. “So my mother had this idea. I told her it was stupid, but she insisted. This thing is supposed to simulate a real baby. It can be programmed to cry at certain times and a bunch of other things. She said she wished she had one of these when she was pregnant with me.”