“Then that makes it even more special that you came.” He let go of my hands and nudged on my bag. “You got your Rubik’s Cube?”
Despite feeling like my world was ending, I forced a smile. “Yes.”
A muffled boarding call reminded me that time was running out. “I have to go.”
“Okay.” Placing his hands on my cheeks, he planted a hard kiss on me as if he would never have the chance to do it again. “Take care of yourself, baby,” he said over my lips.
“You, too.”
He slid his hands from my cheeks down my arms and hugged me again before slowly letting go.
I was about to leave when he stopped me. “Wait.”
“Yeah?”
“Tell me something funny, Rana. I really fucking need it right now.”
This felt like a lot of pressure given my miserable state. Then I remembered something that happened to me that morning.
“I’ve been so preoccupied since last night, I brushed my teeth with your shaving cream this morning. I’ve never seen it in a tube like that before. So, if I tasted like I went down on the Old Spice guy, that’s why.”
He bent his head back in laughter then kissed me on the forehead. “Never fails. Thank you.”
“I guess I should be happy it wasn’t Preparation H.”
Landon’s smile faded before he kissed me one last time.
As I walked away, listening to the loud echo of my heels, I turned around to find that he hadn’t moved. He was still standing in the same spot with his hands in his pockets. Don’t ask me how, but I just knew he wasn’t going to leave until I was completely out of sight. That was the type of person he was. I wondered what he was thinking in that moment, whether he doubted if he’d ever see me again.
With each step I took away from Landon, I felt emptier and out of sorts—truly like I was leaving a piece of myself behind.Landon had stuck a wad of cash without my knowing into my coat pocket—five hundred-dollar bills. I’d only realized it as I was exiting the plane after we landed in Detroit.
Once outside, the brutal cold air was certainly a rude awakening. The Uber I’d called was taking a long time to arrive. As I waited, it really hit me how depressing it was here compared to California.
But it wasn’t even the weather. It felt like I had a hole in my heart. I missed him already. So much. Even more than when I’d left him standing there at the airport. The reality of the distance now between us made the ache so much worse.
Every time my mind would wander to his past, to disturbing images of him screwing different women for money, I would quickly shift my attention away from that. At the moment, those thoughts were background noise. I couldn’t yet deal with them. The more pressing issue was that being home no longer felt that way at all.
Desperately needing to hear his voice, I picked up my phone and dialed his number.
Landon picked up after three rings. “Rana?”
“Yes, it’s me.”
He sounded sleepy. “You made it home okay?”
“I’m here. Whether I’m okay is debatable.”
“I’ve been numb all day. I’m in my room right now staring at your outfit hanging in my closet while smelling you on my sheets, wondering if it was all a dream and if not, wondering how the hell I ever let you get on that plane.”
“I just needed to hear your voice. You sound like you were napping. Did I wake you?”
“I’d dozed off because I got no sleep last night. Fuck, I’m so glad you called.”
“You were very sneaky with that money, by the way.”
“Yeah, well, you went and had your dad pay for the ticket, which wasn’t right, because I told you I wanted to cover it. So, I wanted to get you back.”
“You didn’t have to do that.”
“I wanted to. You need the money.”
“It seems so weird that you’re far away again.”
“I may not be physically with you right now, but I am always here for you. Anytime you need me, Rana, you know I’ll drop everything, right? If you ever need to talk to me or just hear my voice, I don’t care what time of day it is, you call me.”
I hadn’t shed one tear since Landon’s revelation last night, but I was starting to cry now. I couldn’t put my finger on exactly why I’d chosen this moment to break down. There was only one thing I knew for sure. “I miss you already.”
“Are you crying?”
A tear fell down my cheek. “I’m sorry.”
“Are you kidding? It means a lot to me that you are. Yesterday I wasn’t sure if you’d even continue speaking to me, let alone cry and say you miss me. Your tears right now are music to my ears.”