He can’t even face me, and it makes my blood boil to think that he blames me for getting pregnant. I’m the one who demanded the condom that night. He’s the one who couldn’t be bothered with wearing it. If anyone has a right to be mad, it’s me.
“Now isn’t the time, Benson,” Dalton snaps.
My entire body tenses, using precious energy I don’t have.
“Frankie,” Zeke breathes as he steps closer.
I can’t look up at him. Doing so would only bring another rush of tears, and I’ve cried enough over the last couple of days for this boy. He’s breaking me, and he doesn’t even care. He’s unaffected, and that hurts most of all.
I thought things would be different. The look on his face when he was pacing my room holding on to the test that sealed both of our fates made me believe for the briefest of moments that although he was scared, he was ready to face this challenge with me. Then I made him leave, but he took it a step further by packing his things and disappearing.
I just needed a moment alone, a little time to wrap my head around the million changes going on in my body and the destruction of the future I’ve been spending most of my life planning. It’s a lot to think about, and doing so with him panting and seething in front of me wasn’t helping.
“Frankie,” he repeats when I don’t look up at him. “Please, can we talk?”
I shake my head, keeping my eyes focused into the shallow depths of my locker. Tears burn my eyes, but yesterday after a pep talk from Piper in the restroom, I decided I’d never let the idiots in this school see me cry again.
“Hey.” Zeke curls a finger under my chin, forcing me to look up at him, but his touch is gentle, as is the look in his hazel eyes when our gazes meet. “God, you’re so pretty.”
I swallow thickly, knowing that he’s lying because I look a mess. I barely brushed my hair this morning, and the dark circles under my eyes show no sign of fading anytime soon, but he looks sincere as he peers down at me.
Unable to focus on the pleading look in his eyes, I drop my attention to his lips. I loved the way those lips kissed me, loved the way they whispered my name that night, loved the way he smiled at me while we ate chili dogs at the county fair, but I’m no fool. I also remember the way those perfect lips curled up in anger before they aided him in saying hurtful things. I remember those very lips drawing me in before cutting me down.
I’ll never forget what those lips have done, and it’s that dichotomy that leaves me confused when they tilt up in a small smile.
His fingers leave my chin, and like a love-sick moron, I miss the contact, but then he brushes a wild strand of hair from my cheek, tucking it behind my ear. Before I can stop myself, I lean into his touch. I live for the times he’s nice to me, but it’s knowing what comes after that makes my back stiffen again.
He doesn’t miss the way my face grows rigid or the half step back I take to put a little space between the two of us. The push and pull is over for me. I won’t fall for his handsome smile, or the way his eyes sparkle as he watches me any longer. I may not get his love and affection, but I don’t deserve the ire that follows so shortly after either.
And in this moment, in this exact second in time, I’m grateful for the gift he’s given me. The baby wreaking havoc on my body makes a smile tug at my own lips as excitement warms me from the inside.
I may not have the attention of my parents or the affections of the boy in front of me, but the baby will love me unconditionally, and what an amazing feeling at the prospect of never being rejected, or having the opportunity to wake every day knowing that I’m loved. I’ve never had that before. I’ve never closed my eyes at night knowing that someone cares for me other than Piper, but this will be a different kind of love. I’ll be needed. I’ll be wanted.
Those thoughts make me want to rush through this pregnancy just so I can hold my baby and watch as his or her bright eyes smile up at me.
As if he can read my thoughts, Zeke’s hand lowers from my cheek to the flat of my stomach, and I freeze, my lips trembling as flashes of him taking everything from me filter into my head. I try to take another step back, but I’m trapped between him and my locker.