“Sorry, man,” Tug says as we near the airstrip to leave.
The drive takes a little more than an hour, but we’re still on guard. Phone calls move faster than the SUVs we’re traveling in, and a counterattack is expected before the plane will have the ability to take off.
“We always knew finding her there was a long shot. There were no travel plans for her or anyone connected to Petrovich.”
I nod my understanding because it’s true, but not finding Dani in West Africa means I’m pretty much back at square one. Being anywhere in the United States is just as bad as the possibility of her being on foreign soil.
There’s a collective sigh of relief as we pull up to the tarmac without altercation, but the guys don’t settle until we’re a mile in the air over the Atlantic Ocean, and even then, most squirm in their seats. It’s the adrenaline that built up that wasn’t used with the mostly calm mission that keeps them from fully relaxing. I can’t imagine what the next couple of days are going to look like back in New Mexico when they get home and search out ways to release all the extra energy.
I once again scour the dossier Wren compiled for me, hoping that there’s something I overlooked, something I missed the first hundred times I went through it. Nothing jumps out. I’m right back where I started.Chapter 18Anna
If I get that same damn Working text from Deacon again, I may scream.
It’s been days since I’ve seen him. Days since the gala. Wren and I had a blast laughing, drinking, dancing, and ignoring all the looks we got from people who couldn’t believe we had the gall to show up at an event and have a good time. It’s what’s been missing in my life for a while now. Fun and games at those types of events were frowned upon when I was younger, but there were concessions because of my age. The older I got, the stricter the rules. By the time I made it out of high school, the expectation was to mingle and smile, two glasses of champagne max, and dancing was only suitable occasionally in ballroom style. Wren wasn’t suitable two nights ago, and his insistence that the running man was acceptable with every song played was frowned upon by many in attendance.
I avoided eye contact with my parents, but the few times I did happen to look in their direction, I found Mom smiling and Dad shaking his head with a sparkle in his eye.
Needless to say, we had a blast, but then he dropped me back at the hotel before disappearing again. I haven’t had human contact in two days other than a quick phone call from Mom asking who my date was and if I’m going to bring him to their house for dinner. I put a big X on that suggestion and told them that he was just a friend doing me a favor by attending. When she wouldn’t let it go, I lied and told her that he was married and his husband wouldn’t appreciate me taking him away again anytime soon. She then suggested I bring them both. In the end, I agreed but didn’t give her a timeframe. It’s my hope that she’ll forget all about it.
It’s been weeks since someone has reached out to me other than family members, and it was in the early morning hours a day ago when I realized I’ve been the one to always reach out to the people in my life. If I don’t call them, they can’t be bothered to contact me. Being my stubborn self, I decided that I’m done with people like that. I don’t need people in my life that don’t value me.
That mental declaration led to deeper thinking about the kind of person I am, and I spent hours in my head reflecting on my life. Let’s just say it’s a scary damn place to be trapped.
I’m at my wit’s end. Seclusion doesn’t work for me because I don’t like myself or who I’ve become in the last ten years. Staring at all the stuff I bought when I first came to the hotel makes it even harder to deal with. I didn’t need the entire lingerie line. I wanted it. I didn’t need eight different bodywashes and four types of shampoo. I’m not going anywhere and have nothing planned for the next couple of weeks, so I didn’t need a dozen new pairs of shoes and a closet full of clothes. I hate myself right now. It’s no wonder Deacon doesn’t even want to see or talk to me.
My best friend is missing, and I’m a petty idiot who’s worried about clothes and the scent of my hair. I know all of the stuff is a distraction because thinking of Dani makes me think of all the horrible things she could be suffering from. Thinking of her makes me think of him and the way I acted like a complete idiot in the bar and in the bedroom days ago.