I trusted him, though. Even though he hadn’t taken a seat in that Council Room, he still checked in. He still helped. I had but to ask, and he’d see me through all of this.
“About that…” I said, turning off the water.
“Do you mind if I air-dry?”
“Do you mind if I accidentally look?” I laughed, picking up his sweats and handing them over.
His eyes were steady on mine, and I quickly looked away. I really needed to get over this embarrassment. It was getting downright ridiculous. I’d seen plenty of naked men. I’d raised a boy, for God’s sake.
False equivalence, I thought.
Boy, wasn’t that the truth.
“Just kidding,” I said, staring forward. “I won’t look.”
“No, I don’t mind,” he said quietly.
“Where does that leave us?” I asked. “I mean, with Damarion, not with your very appropriate confidence in your body.”
He didn’t answer for a moment as we crossed the lush green grass, the garden as lush as ever despite the chill air and dusting of snow.
“I don’t know, Jess.” I could hear the regret in his voice. I could hear the resolve.
I could hear the sound of a man taking the harder road, being the bigger person, and leaving.
“We will work this out, okay?” I clenched my fists. “This is your home. You’re staying here. I haven’t been trying to free you from the magic, and that’s my bad, but I will, okay? We’ll get that worked out, and then—”
“The magic isn’t the problem…”
“Just shut up.” Magic infused my words. This time, it was his jaw that clicked shut. “Sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean— Just, let’s not talk about it right now. I’ll sort it out, okay? I’ll make this work. I’m a mother, damn it—I’m used to accomplishing the impossible.”
“Okay,” he said, and bumped me with his shoulder.
I wanted to turn and hug him, or grab his hand, or maybe slap him, I wasn’t sure. I settled for bumping him back.
“I wanted to ask you…” I bit my lip, thinking about the feeling of danger I’d felt with the second summons, as we passed the maze and turned left toward the little cottage at the very back of the grass, nestled into the trees. Edgar’s little sanctuary. I’d never asked why he didn’t live in the house, and given I didn’t really want to extend an invitation, it seemed better to continue avoiding the topic. “Remember when you said you were good at reading people?”
“This is the second time you’ve started a conversation like this.”
“Oh, right. Well…as a man, and not as a…whatever it is that annoys you about Damarion, what do you think about him?” I paused. “Is it okay to be asking you this?”
“You can ask me anything.” He was quiet for a moment, though, his pace slowing as we walked. “It would take a decent effort to subdue him, but I would. He will never tolerate us being friends, you and me. It will never sit right with him. He is loyal, though, and he’ll protect you with his life. If it can’t be me watching out for you, as much as it pains me to admit it, it’s good that it is him, regardless of my views on his training methods.”
“And it does pain you to admit it.”
“It absolutely does, yes. I hope to never think of this moment again.”
I could tell he was only half joking. We slowed even more, nearly at Edgar’s front porch, one chair overturned next to the door and another lying at the far edge on its side. I frowned at the setup.
“Do you think this is normal?” I asked, putting out my hand to stop Austin’s progress.
“Why don’t you text him to make sure he isn’t…otherwise unoccupied? Because normal and that vampire are not two words that should be said in the same sentence.”
I huffed out a laugh and patted my pockets. “Oh. I don’t have my phone.”
“You know I don’t.”
I sure did. I’d taken in his flat, muscled stomach and the happy trail leading down to its well-maintained destination before I could stop myself.
Before we finished our approach, I said, “I don’t want you to leave. That needs to be said. I will find a way to make this right, but in the meantime…” I shrugged. “Just figured you should know that.”
His gaze was heavy on my face, but something stopped me from turning and looking at him. Thankfully, there wasn’t a chance for it to get awkward. At least not between us.
The door swung open and Edgar stepped out, a red-fanged smile stretching across his face.
“Hello! You finally came to visit. And Austin Steele, too? Wow.” He rested his fingers on his chest. “This is a treat. Come in, come in!”
He stopped beside the door like he was nervous about a cat escaping. But instead of shooing an animal, he nudged a man’s leg, ending in a hiking boot, out of the way. Given its stubbornness in moving, it was thankfully still attached to the—hopefully living but definitely unconscious—source.