"Are you okay?" I ask, knowing that he isn't, but that he will probably deny his true feelings anyway.
"Yeah, absolutely," Aaron replies, shaking his head a little and forcing a smile onto his lips. I'm filled with tenderness for him; dangerous feelings. For all his harshness and controlling dominance, he is just as vulnerable and human as I am. I rest the cup on the counter and put my hand against his cheek. Aaron inhales deeply and closes his eyes.
When he opens them, his gaze is filled with liquid heat, and before I can react, he's on me, hands in my hair, lips pressed roughly to mine, body forcing us both backward until my back hits the counter hard enough to bruise. He feels desperate in his intensity, mouth moving so deep and hard that I think that I taste blood. Everything is clawing and feverish between us; right and wrong, bitter and sweet, filled with hurt and longing.
I hold his face between my hands, and then grasp his shoulders, feeling the coiled strength in his muscles and the burning heat of his body. He hoists me up by the thighs, carrying me toward my bedroom with fierce haste that tells me so much. This is about more than just sex; otherwise, he wouldn't be breaking his own rule. I've poked at his vulnerabilities and woken up a man who is raw with hurt and angry with me too. I can feel it in the roughness of his touch as he casts me onto the bed and grabs at the waistband of my jeans, pinching the skin of my stomach as he fumbles with the fastenings and pulls them off.
I'm burning with desire for him, lost in my lust and in the darkness of his pain and mine. I want to give him everything he needs to ease his suffering, but I'm terrified too. With every part of my clothing he removes, I feel another layer of self-protection removed. I know that I'll be sore when he's finished with me, between my legs and in my heart. Even knowing all that, I can't find it within myself to deny him or fight against my own desperate longing.
Aaron undresses with the same frenzy, yanking off his sweater and pushing his jeans and underwear down in one, avoiding my eyes that watch his every move. When we are finally both naked, he flips me over with rough hands and climbs onto the bed, straddling my thighs and pressing me down. With my face in the quilt, I can feel the jerkiness of his breathing as he pauses, seconds of helplessness that seem to stall the beats in my chest. Then I feel his hands on my wrists, palms gripping tightly as he pulls them up above my head, laying one on the other. "Keep them there," he breathes into my ear. If you move them, I'll stop."
His words are always the thing that makes me lose my mind, taking me into a place where my inhibitions are forgotten; white noise that blocks everything out. His hand in my hair is tender, stroking over the long loose strands that are tangled at my neck, over my back, and partially concealing my face. Firm fingers trace the line of my neck, following it down over the bumps of my spine to the small of my back, then up to where it curves into my bottom. He doesn't stop. When he traces the seam of my ass until his fingers touch my wetness, I exhale loud and long, but he does nothing more than graze my flesh. The bed depresses as he places his hands next to my shoulders and leans in to press kisses against my neck and lick a slow trail, following the path of his fingers. His breath is hot, then cold as it hits the wetness his mouth had left behind, and I can't keep still. As his tongue licks closer to my bottom, I start to squirm in earnest, and he reaches beneath me to pinch a nipple in response.
"Still, Nicole. Or I won't give you what you want."
Holding myself as motionless as possible, I wait, panting, desperate for more and scared of where he might go. I've experienced what Aaron is capable of in all its filthy glory. He knows what to do to my body to extract the most violent orgasms I've ever experienced, even at my hand, but it takes everything I have in me to succumb to the level of submission he seeks.
His fingers hold my nipple more softly, gently rolling it while his hot breath gusts against my shoulder blade, and the tip of his heavy cock rests between my thighs. It's as though he's swimming in the quagmire of his own thoughts, toying with me while he processes what he's doing.