“Yeah? Anyone else gotta go?”
“Smoke put in for a transfer to Florida.”
“Good riddance.”
“Amen. I’m keeping an eye on Tiny, but I think everyone else is solid. We’ll see what happens when Sway comes home.”
“God help you.” His phone rings and he smiles when he checks to see who it is. The call can only be from Hope. I doubt he looks like that when anyone else calls him. “Hey, baby doll. You almost here? I’m out front with Z.”
“You want me to go?” I ask when he hangs up.
“Nah, stick around. She wants to see you.”
Not sure I should intrude on their brief window of time together, I nod. A few minutes later, she pulls in and Rock goes over to open her door. The intensity of their affectionate greetings hasn’t lessened while I’ve been away. That’s a good sign.
When Rock’s finished properly molesting his wife, much to the delight of evening traffic, she turns and beams at me. “Z! What are you doing here?” She hurries over and envelops me in a ruthless hug. “I’m so happy to see you,” she mumbles against my cut.
For some reason, Hope, more than anyone else, makes me home sick and I hug her back just as hard. “Miss you, sweetheart.”
“Nothing is the same without you.”
“Yeah, no one comes barging through our screen door every morning,” Rock adds.
“Is it really ‘barging in’ if I do it every day and you’re expecting me?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, stop.” Hope slaps her hand against Rock’s chest. “We miss you.”
“Eh.” Rock wobbles his hand from side to side.
Ignoring his comment, but keeping her arms around him, she asks me what I’m doing here. “Don’t tell me you missed CB so much you had to visit?”
“No. I went to visit Grinder, so I wasn’t far. Thought I’d stop in and see how Dex was doing. Never expected to find Rock here.”
Her mouth turns down at the mention of Dex’s name. “The club’s having a rough time lately.”
“We’ll get through it. We always do.”
“How’s Lilly? Chance? We’re supposed to get together again sometime next week.”
“I think she’s looking forward to it.”
“Good.” She pauses. “You said you saw Grinder? How was he?”
To my knowledge, Hope’s never met him. Only heard things Rock or one of the brothers has told her. But her love for the club runs deep and extends to all the members.
“Hard to say. Tired, but in good spirits. As good as anyone can be in his situation.”
“I hope it’s not much longer until he gets out. I know he’ll probably need a lot of help getting adjusted…” Her voice trails off and she glances up at Rock.
He squeezes her shoulders. “Club’ll help him figure it out.”
The front door slams open and Blue sticks his head outside. “Rock, need your help.”
Rock growls and I turn to answer Blue’s request. “I’ll—”
“No, I got it. Stay with Hope for a minute,” Rock says, stalking off.
Hope watches him go with anxiety glittering in her eyes.
“I’m sure it’s nothing,” I try to reassure her.
“Oh, I’m more worried he’s so pissed about being here. He’ll bite some poor girl’s head off.”
I roar with laughter. “All this time, and the stuff you worry about still blows my mind.”
She grins. “Good.”
The door opens again and Blue steps out. He nods to Hope. “He should only be another minute. Sorry, Mrs. North. He said you can wait inside if you want.”
She glances at the door and smooths her hands over her sweatshirt. “Uh, no. Thanks. I’m fine out here with Z.”
“You okay?” I ask after Blue goes back inside.
“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.” She tips her head back. “It feels good to be outside.”
“The sunshine agrees with you. You’re prettier than ever.”
“Oh, please. I look like I’ve been put through the spin-cycle.” Her gaze shifts to the door again.
“You didn’t bring Grace?”
“Nope. She’s having some afternoon snuggle time with Auntie Trinity.”
Ah, shit. Now I miss Trinity too.
“Rock didn’t want to expose her to CB so early.” Her lips twist with humor, but I can picture Rock saying something to that effect.
“More like he wanted to show you the backseat of his SUV while you were here.”
She giggle-snorts into her hand. “Possibly. Except, I’m pretty sure he has his bike.”
“Feel free to use my office. Not like you two haven’t defiled it before.”
Her cheeks turn pink, which cracks me up even more, and she reaches out to smack my arm. “Ugh, does Lilly realize what she’s getting into?”
“That I’m a total deviant? I think it’s what she loves about me the most.”
Her laughter eases up and she’s all seriousness again. “Things are good with you two?”
“Better than ever.” It sounds flip, but the words roll off my tongue so easily because they’re true. “I’m kind of shocked how well she’s taken to all the club stuff.”
“I’m not. Lilly’s smart and practical. Plus, she’s always had a bit of bad girl in her.”
“Beauty, brains, and deviance. My dream woman.”
A hesitant expression freezes her face. “You’ve forgiven her?”
“I don’t know if forgive is the right word. I understand.” I jam my hands in my pockets. “I’m not as worried about her leaving again as I was.”
“Nothing worth having comes without risking your heart.” She grins and squeezes her hands together. “I’m so happy for you. This is perfect.”
“We’re far from perfect, but I’m damn happy.”
“You deserve to be happy, Z. And I can’t think of a better man for Lilly.”
I like that Hope sees me that way. Settling down with one woman, fatherhood, neither of those things seemed appealing to me before I met Lilly. And honestly, I wasn’t sure I was cut out for it.
Sometimes I’m still not.
“I love the club and everything, but I also really love just being home with both of them. I don’t know, doing small stuff.”
“Chemistry is wonderful, and from what I’ve heard, you two have it in abundance.”
A rumble of laughter explodes out of me. “You could say that.”
“But,” her expression turns soft and dreamy, “I think the real magic comes from all the beautiful, ordinary moments you share together. That’s where the love grows, and where the foundation for a relationship that will go the distance flourishes.”
“Christ, woman, you’re going to make me tear up here.”
“I’ve had a lot of time to ponder this.”
Something in her tone makes me ask, “You miss working?”
“Honestly? Not yet. I haven’t had time to. And I don’t care how silly any of my lawyer friends think it is, but Grace will only be this little once. I don’t want to miss it.”
“Anyone who runs their mouth is probably jealous they couldn’t spend time with their own kids.”
She gives me a thoughtful nod. “Maybe. Everyone’s journey is different, you know? I just wish some wouldn’t judge so harshly.”
“Someone give you shit, Hope? Do I need to kick some ass?” I make a big show of cracking my knuckles. “Because I’ll do it.”
“No.” She laughs. “I’m fine.”
Before I give it too much thought, my biggest fear jumps out of my mouth. “I’m worried this happy phase won’t last and I’ll get bored eventually and do something stupid. I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Oh, Z,” she touches my arm. “I think the fact that you’re worried about that is a sign it won’t be an issue. You’re going to go through ups and downs. It can’t be all sunshine and rainbows a hundred percent of the time. Those down times will help you appreciate the rainbows so much more.”
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“Interesting way to put it.”
“If you ever feel that way, then talk to her. From what I’ve seen, in so many of the cases I handled, communication, or lack of it, was the cause of so much misery. Not talking about things or having a partner you’re not comfortable sharing your feelings with and then letting it fester into resentment and hatred causes more damage than anything.”
“That makes sense.”
“And don’t take this the wrong way—”
“Here we go again.”
She laughs and continues. “Strong men like you—and I don’t just mean physically strong. Strong mind and character—have a hard time admitting they even have feelings sometimes. It’s okay to be vulnerable with the right person.”
“What makes them the right person?”
“That you trust them not to use your fears against you.”
What are my biggest fears? Lilly leaving again. Not being a good enough father. Making the wrong decisions for the club.
Lilly’s reassured me in all three areas lately.
“Besides, you’re settling down later in life—”