She coughs and turns away. “That probably had more to do with Trinity and him than you and him.”
“Maybe.” What a perfect example of Heidi being too damn smart.
“Your brother’s always kept me in that little brother pocket, too. Still trying to be my protector all these years later.”
“He’s gotten better.”
“Eh.” I snort, and she laughs with me.
Here’s the part that’s going to hurt her, but I think it’s worth the pain, so we can move past it and focus on our future together. “When you married Axel, remember I took off for a while?”
“It broke my heart because I felt like I’d chased you away,” she whispers.
“You didn’t. I wanted you to be happy.”
“You came back when Alexa was born.”
“I couldn’t stay away any longer.” I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I would’ve left again if I thought I was fucking up things for you.”
“No need for that, I fucked up everything all by myself.”
I press my finger to her lips. “You made the best decisions you could at the time.”
She’s quiet while she swallows that down.
“Anyway, you know the brothers like to fuck around and spar. We’ve always fought for fun around here.”
“If you want to call that fun.”
I let out a chuckle because, yes, sparring is fun for some of us. “I don’t know. When I was on the road, I’d do it to earn some cash or bragging rights.” I nudge her shoulder. “Remember Dante?”
“Karina’s ol’ man? The Iron Bulls’ enforcer?”
“Yeah, him. He started calling me Gingersnap in the ring. Fucking hate the name, but it was something I had on my own away from here.”
“So another SAA gave you another road name that you hated and that’s a good thing?”
“I never hated Murphy.”
“No?” she pokes my chest. “What would you have called yourself if you picked out your own road name?”
“The Hulk,” I answer easily.
She dissolves into giggles that warm me from head to toe.
“What? He’s big and green? Why not?”
“I love it.” She gasps and lets out more laughter. “You’re right, it’s perfect.”
“Anyway, when you and I finally sorted our shit, I wanted to build up some extra cash to make sure I could take care of you. Fights were an easy way to do that.”
Her laughter stops. “You don’t need to take care of me. We take care of each other. I’d rather work ten shitty jobs than ever have you risk yourself.”
My love for her burns even hotter because there’s no other answer Heidi would give me. “I’m good at it, Heidi.”
“Well, I wouldn’t know, would I?”
Maybe she’s right and I should’ve allowed her into that part of my life. Was I ashamed to have Heidi see me beat people bloody? Worried it would scare her? The fighters, who weren’t in the ring to pull pussy, often have their girls sitting ringside cheering them on. Especially at the Castle. I thought I was keeping Heidi safe by not having her mix with that crowd.
But maybe I was pushing her away instead. “You don’t have to worry anymore. Except for what I told you, I’m done.”
“Can we afford the car?”
“What?” Now I understand why she got so upset earlier. “I didn’t pay for the car with fight money. I’m good but not that good.”
“Oh.”
“You don’t need to worry about money. Furious is on the right track now, so money’s coming in there, and I told you, the club is doing well.” Honesty seems to be the theme for tonight. “You know your brother’s talent for investing and stuff? It paid off well for the club.” I press my finger against her lips again. “But you can’t talk about it with anyone, ever. As far as anyone outside the club needs to know, we’re all blue-collar guys hustling to make ends meet.”
She’s silent for a few seconds, then finally nods and kisses my fingers. “Got it.”
“So when I say, I don’t want you to worry, and I sure as fuck don’t want you settling for a job you’re not one-hundred percent in love with, please trust me.”
“I do trust you, Blake. Maybe too much sometimes.”
“There’s no such thing as too much trust.”
Seventeen
Heidi
The following weekend I find myself in the Hellcat with Blake behind the wheel, headed to the racetrack.
I’ve managed to avoid Bryce and complete a significant amount of work on our project. Win-win. So tonight, it’s time to have some fun.
The racetrack isn’t quite what I expected.
For one thing, it’s way out in the middle of nowhere and that’s saying something given where the clubhouse is located.
“Is this even still LOKI territory?” I ask when we come up on a faded old sign that reads Zips Raceway.
The road’s battered and bumpy, but the grass has been cut recently, so it must not be as deserted as it appears.
“Told you we might be setting up the support club out this way.”
“Are you upset you didn’t ride with Dex and Rooster?” I still feel like a baby for being scared to drive my own car.
Blake reaches over and rests his hand on my leg. “Hell no. The more time I get to spend with my girl, the better.”
I entwine my fingers with his. “Same.”
“Besides, it’s ‘unofficial’ club business.”
I glance at his cut, carefully draped across the backseat, with the grinning skull and crown back patch face-up. “Uh-huh.”
“We’ll have fun.” He glances over and takes in my tense expression. “I want you to feel confident driving this. It’s different from anything else you’ve driven. Out here, you’ll be able to romp on the gas pedal all you want, test the brakes, response times, whatever you want without worrying about traffic or anyone else getting in your way.”
“Thank you.”
He continues down the road. We pass underneath an archway. A gate with peeling white paint is held open by two ropes of chain link and a padlock. Blake doesn’t slow the car at the empty ticket booth.
To the side, there’s rows of old metal bleachers. A small crowd of people is gathered on the dusty asphalt in front. Racers or spectators, I’m not sure. Cars are lined up to our left. Concrete barriers surround the racetrack. Some are painted. Others nothing more than bare concrete. Overall, it’s clear not a lot of money’s been spent on upkeeping the place in the last quarter century.
A guy and girl jog down the bleacher stairs, and the guy waves at us to slow down.
“This is Eraser,” Blake explains. “That must be his girl.”
Good lord, Blake’s a massive man, but Eraser isn’t far behind in the size department. It’s hard to tell under his full dark beard and layers of tattoos, but I suspect he’s only a few years older than me. He’s so big, I almost miss the slim girl at his side.
Blake parks and steps out of the car first. I follow.
“Murphy!” Eraser quickens his steps to reach us. He stops and actually hugs Blake in greeting. Blake doesn’t punch him in the mouth. So, I guess they know each other better than I thought.
“How you been?” Blake asks, slapping the guy on the back.
“Not bad.” Eraser pulls the small girl closer. Long dirty-blonde hair falls to her waist in effortless, loose waves. She’s wearing a simple black tank top and tight red jeans. She seems completely comfortable around all these rough-looking guys. Confident Eraser will protect her from any threat. My gaze lands on her feet and her thick-soled, shiny black combat boots. Tiny or not, I suspect she can protect herself just fine.
“Murphy, this is my wife, Ella.”
She nods at Blake then focuses on me.
“My old lady, Heidi.” Blake hadn’t asked me to wear my property of Murphy cut tonight, but I still brought a hoodie with LOKI emblazoned across the chest. Murphy’s clover, skull and crown symbol is on the back. Eno
ugh to tie me to the club and my man, without inviting too many questions.
“First time out here?” Ella asks.
Blake shrugs. “Vapor swears this is the place to be on the weekends nothing’s going down at the Castle.”
Before we talked everything out, I might have bristled at the mention of the place Blake’s taken on more than a few underground fights. Now, the expression on my face remains serene.
“Got Heidi a car for graduation.” Blake squeezes my hand. “I’d like her to get used to driving it someplace she doesn’t have to worry about anyone bothering her.”
Eraser’s gaze shifts to the car behind us, and he lets out a low whistle of appreciation. “Sweet graduation present, Murphy. You do any mods yet?”
“Nope. Completely stock right now.”
Eraser’s gaze dances over my car. “Fastest sedan on the planet.” He points in a wide circle to the track around us. “Lotta bros spend a fortune upgrading their old shitboxes, and they still can’t compete with this.” He smirks at us. “Course most of ‘em are lousy drivers.”
“All the mods in the world won’t fix that.” Ella chuckles.
Eraser slings his arm around her shoulders. “They fuckin’ love challenging my girl to race.” He leans down to kiss the top of her head. “Got no idea who they’re messing with.”
“You cleaning out their wallets?” Blake asks Ella.