Raj blinked because for an instant his surroundings had vanished; what she had told him had to be the very last development he had expected, but it also led to a revelation that hit him even harder. He turned pale, in the matter of a moment recognising the situation he was in.
‘We’ve barely got out of bed to eat for three months,’ Raj breathed in a rueful undertone. ‘What can I say? I was in charge of contraception and I forgot. So, we are going to become parents...forgive me, I am stunned by the concept of something so surprising.’
‘You said it would be a disaster if I became pregnant,’ Zoe reminded him uncertainly, still unable to read his mood, particularly when he sprang upright again and started pacing across the floor, clearly too restless to stay seated.
‘A disaster more from your point of view than from mine,’ Raj qualified with level clarity. ‘We agreed to part but I cannot agree to let you leave me carrying our child and I do not want our child raised without either one of us. Surely we are doing well enough together for you to stay in our marriage for some time to come?’ A straight ebony brow lifted enquiringly, intense dark eyes scanning her triangular face for an answer. ‘Could you accept that? If we remain married, we can raise our child together.’
A quivery little breath ran up through Zoe, allowing her lungs to function again. The backs of her eyes prickled and stung. Until Raj had asked her to stay married to him, she had not realised how horribly tense she had become and the painful tension slowly ebbed out of her stiff muscles.
‘So, we just go on as normal?’ Zoe checked.
‘Why not? Are we not both content as we are?’ Raj prompted tautly.
Zoe nodded but couldn’t help wishing he could be a little more emotional about staying married to her. There she went again, wanting what she couldn’t have, she scolded herself, because she knew herself better now. She could look back and recognise the raging jealousy that had assailed her after seeing those photos of Raj with Nabila that had so clearly depicted his love for the beautiful brunette. There was nothing she could do about such feelings except keep them under control and hidden. And considering the circumstances in which they had married, each for their own very practical reasons, it was illogical and pathetic to long for Raj to fall in love with her as well.
‘You said...“stay in our marriage for some time to come”,’ Zoe recited tightly. ‘What sort of time frame were you considering?’
At that question for further clarification, Raj stiffened and raked long brown fingers through his tousled black curls. ‘Must we be so precise?’
Zoe swallowed hard at the edge of reproof in his tone. ‘Well, it would be easier for me to know how you see the future.’
‘With you and our child together. I would impose no limits. I would like to throw away all the boundaries we agreed and make this a normal marriage,’ Raj spelt out without hesitation. ‘I still can’t believe that you’re pregnant.’
‘Neither can I,’ Zoe revealed, scrambling off the bed only to be immediately caught up into his strong arms.
‘I didn’t think it could happen that easily...it is a brilliant accident,’ Raj murmured with husky conviction as he came down on the bed with her. ‘Are we still allowed to share this bed?’
‘Of course, we are. I’ve been fully checked out.’ A kind of sick relief combined with dizzy happiness was filtering through Zoe as she dimly acknowledged that he was giving her what she most wanted. She wasn’t going to have to give him up like the salted caramel ice cream she had recently become addicted to, she was going to get to keep him. Of course, it wasn’t perfect, she conceded reluctantly, not when he only wanted her to stay married to him because she was pregnant. Even so, being accepted as a normal wife was a huge upgrade on being labelled a friend with benefits.
‘What are you thinking about?’ Raj chided, lying back on the bed with his gorgeous dark eyes fiercely welded to her reflective face.
‘Nothing remotely important,’ she told him, and she meant it when she said it even if she dimly understood even then that sooner or later she would once again fall into the trap of craving more than he had to give her.
He toyed with her mouth, soft and gentle, and then nipped wickedly at her bottom lip with the edge of his teeth. Her hands lifted and her fingers speared into his black curls, liquid heat pooling in her pelvis as he deliberately snaked his lean hips into the junction of her thighs, the thrust of his arousal unmistakeable. He was always so hot for her. It was enough, it was more than enough to be desired, cared for, appreciated. Even if she felt as though she was keeping him by default? She crushed the thought, burying it deep. She already had more with him than she had ever thought she would have, so craving anything else would be greedy.
‘I want you so much,’ Raj confided rawly, sitting up over her to wrench off his shirt, yank roughly at his tie. ‘Knowing my baby is inside you is so sexy...’
Zoe blinked. It was? He was lifting her to deftly undo her bra, groaning with satisfaction when her small pouting breasts came free to hungrily claim an engorged nipple with his mouth. A gasp was wrenched from her as he teased the other with his fingers. ‘You’re more sensitive there than ever,’ he husked. ‘I love your body.’
She knew he did: he never left it alone. He couldn’t walk past her without touching her in some way and if they were alone, it almost always concluded in their bed, although they had succumbed to christening his office sofa a time or two and they had once had sex in a limousine on a long drive. He had an astonishingly strong sexual appetite. Anyone watching him could have been forgiven for thinking he hadn’t had the freedom to enjoy her for a couple of days at least but that was not the case.
He tugged off her panties and yanked down the zip in his trousers, shedding his clothing with an impatience that never failed to add to her excitement. There he was, all sleek and golden and beautiful, and he was finally hers to keep like a precious possession she had been fighting for without even appreciating what she was doing or even what was happening inside her own head. She had wanted love but th
en what woman didn’t? If he could settle for less, she could settle, she reasoned as he snaked down her body with darting little kisses and caresses that set her on fire, ultimately settling between her spread thighs to pleasure her in the way he enjoyed the most.
As a rippling spasm of pleasure gathered low in her body, she clutched at his hair, writhed, squirmed, begged until at last she climaxed in an explosive surge that certainly didn’t feel in any way as though she were settling for less. Raj shifted over her then, hungrily kissing her, and the excitement began to rocket again as he sank into her with delicious force, pushing her legs back to deepen his penetration. Definitely not less, she told herself as she rose breathlessly to meet his every thrust, every move instinctive and raw with the excitement she could barely contain. There was more and then even more of that insanely thrilling pleasure before he sent her flying into a wild breathless climax that shattered her senses and her control, leaving her slumped in a wreck of heavy, satiated limbs in the aftermath.
She hadn’t heard a phone ring, had been too far gone, but she surfaced when she realised that Raj wasn’t holding her close as he usually did. She turned over, saw him talking urgently on his phone while he strode about, naked and bronzed and muscular, and she propped her chin on the heel of her hand, enjoying watching him. That enjoyment gradually faded when he went on to make several other quick calls in succession, alerting her to the knowledge that something must have happened, and because his expression changed from smiling to grim she couldn’t tell whether what had happened was a good or bad thing.
‘I’m afraid I’m going to have to leave you for the night,’ Raj told her with a frown. ‘The construction workers have stumbled on archaeological remains at the Josias site.’