She shot upright with a gasp. There was no smoke, no fire. No recognition of where she was. Only darkness and her ragged breathing. She jumped when a hand fell on her shoulder.
“Hey.” Joss’s voice penetrated the fog of sleep that lingered. Soft, cajoling. “It’s me.”
Then it all came back to her—where she was and with who. The question remained, why? She rubbed her eyes with the heels of her palms.
“The dream?” he asked, pulling her hands away from her face.
“It’s started again.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “You’re safe.”
Even as he said it, she recognized the lie. “What if I sleepwalk like before?”
“You’re not going anywhere,” he said, stroking her hair. A tinge of darkness invaded his voice. “I won’t let you.”
The depth of the promise scared her. She pushed away and threw the covers aside.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“What time is it?”
“Just after four.”
“I can’t sleep anymore.” She swung her legs over the bed. “It’s the shifts at the bar. I got used to sleeping in the day and working at night.”
His voice was sympathetic. “Do you want to watch a movie or read something?”
“I may as well get up,” she said, getting to her feet.
She walked to the closet and grabbed the first dress her hand fell on. Taking it to the bathroom, she switched on the light and closed the door behind her. Dropping the dress on the vanity, she stared at her face in the mirror. Dark eyes set against a pale skin stared back at her. From the photos she’d seen, she looked a lot like her mother. Perspiration beaded on her forehead. She didn’t want to be her mother. She didn’t want to set objects on fire and earn the wrath of every other human on Earth. She didn’t want to be that lonely. She gripped the edges of the counter. She didn’t want to be the evil Joss hunted.
The door opened and darkness from the room spilled into the light. Joss stood in the frame. Their eyes clashed in the mirror. There were questions in his for which she didn’t have answers.
“I knocked,” he said. “You didn’t answer.”
“I didn’t hear.”
Frowning, he crossed the floor and stopped behind her. “Was it the same?”
“Except that it wasn’t you.”
He couldn’t hide the concern showing on his face, not so early in the morning when masks and lies weren’t in place. “Who?”
She opened the tap and splashed water on her face. “I don’t know.”
He took a towel from the shelf and handed it to her.
Taking it with a, “Thank you,” she dragged it over her face before turning and leaning on the counter. “When this Lupien finds us—”
He crossed his arms. “I said you don’t have to worry about that now.”
“Do you hear yourself?” She dumped the towel on the counter. “This is my life.”
“Both our lives.”
The blood dropped from her head to her toes when a realization hit her. “You’re using me as bait.” She stared at him with parted lips. “That’s why you’re taking me back.”
This wasn’t about her and Joss or what he believed she owed him. This wasn’t only about his revenge. This was about his job, about completing his mission. He was using her.
“You’re unbelievable,” she said with a smile that froze her heart.
He only watched her with a bunching jaw, his silence as good an answer as if he’d admitted it out loud.
She said in a flat voice, “I’d like to get ready.”
He gave a resigned nod. “I’ll order breakfast.”
Leaving her to the bright, judging light of the bathroom, he quietly closed the door. She turned back to the mirror. She couldn’t help but hate herself even more. How foolish. Deep down, she’d hoped Joss had come for something else. Something different. She should’ve known better. It wasn’t a mistake she’d make again. This time, she wouldn’t bury her feelings so deep that the hurt was only a dull but persistent ache. This time, she’d rip them out of her chest, roots and thorns, even if she had to sacrifice the tree. She’d rather live without a heart than be a slave to the pain.Chapter 28Four hours later, after a breakfast of croissants and coffee, the same driver from the day before drove them to the station. Clelia didn’t miss how Joss scanned the crowd, looking for danger. Only a few months ago, she’d went about her life freely and without fear. Her biggest concern was getting to work on time. She’d had no other responsibilities than taking care of her animals and preparing Erwan’s dinner. Going back was no longer a choice, just as she couldn’t get back her innocence. The only way was forward.
She’d had time to think in the shower. She had a plan. Joss was taking her back to Lamor, back to Erwan. At the first opportunity that came along, she’d get away, find Erwan, and go on the run. Indefinitely. Together with Erwan, they could hop the islands together. If they were careful, no one would find them. If she removed herself from society, her art wouldn’t pose a threat. It was the perfect solution to the dilemma she found herself in. She only had to bide her time and be patient.