As I stood waiting to be served in a massive crowd fighting for a chance to order a drink, I sought out Clara again. She was talking with a few of the other dancers, talking and laughing in a way she hadn’t been able to do up until now. It made me happy and sad all at once. It really sucked that just when I’d decided to tell Yuri to go fuck himself and the stupid rule, I realized I couldn’t go anywhere near Clara without screwing up the friendships she was finally developing with her fellow ballerinas or ending the positive relationship she could have with my brother. I couldn’t fuck up the forming dynamic. Sleeping with the boss could damage the respect she had worked hard to gain up to this point.
But was I being unfair to us by forcing myself to keep my distance?
There was definitely something there. Something between us. A sizzling, intense chemistry, and a connection I couldn’t quite explain. Was I really wishing to push someone aside who could be the perfect woman for me? I’d never cowered to anyone before. Why was I even entertaining the idea of letting my brother win, and why should I give a fuck what the others thought?
I might not be a professional dancer, but I felt like I was always dancing around when it came to Clara. I didn’t want to have to make such potentially life-changing decisions at a bar. What I really wanted to do was fuck her and call it a good night. And while that had worked with women in the past, something told me the moment I touched her intimately, I’d not be able to walk away again. Fuck this. I could imagine the derisive sneer on Yuri’s face if he ever discovered how I’d often stood in the shadows of the theater watching Clara sweating on the stage during all the late hours of dancing.
Sweat on a body… her body. My weakness.
I’d tried to lock myself away in the office and not pay attention. But I’d failed. She was a damn fantasy that refused to go away. Every passing day added to a hunger I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to feed.
As I grabbed the tray of drinks, lifting it over my head to avoid it being bumped into, I slowly made my way back to the rest of the group. I noticed my brother had pulled Clara to one side. Unable to resist, I stepped a little closer, unabashedly eavesdropping on their conversation.
“I’ve seen the way you look at him, Clara. You will not go there. He’s off limits. Alek is my brother and your boss. Spread your legs all you want when you’re practicing grand jetés for the stage, but you better damn well keep them closed everywhere else. Do you know what I’m saying? Hands off.”
Hearing my brother make this decision for me, caused my blood to boil. How fucking dare he warn Clara off me? Part of me knew he was right in that relationships within a company could prove messy, but it still infuriated me. This was far beyond brotherly love. Fucked up was what it was, and I was done with the condescending act.
Temper rushed into my ears. No way was I going to stand there and let Yuri control my life, or Clara’s for that matter.
“Hey,” I said, “I’ve got some drinks here.” Without waiting for a response, I shoved a mug of beer into Yuri’s hand and offered a glass to Clara.
“Thank you, but I’m not drinking,” she said softly.
“It’s non-alcoholic sparkling wine,” I said, pressing the glass into her hand. I remained rooted where I was, refusing to allow their conversation to continue. I figured if Clara didn’t promise to keep away from me, then I won. We wouldn’t be doing anything wrong when we inevitably hooked up — which, because of my very reaction to my brother’s shit, I was now sure was what was going to happen.
Why the hell should I hold back from the first person I’d had a real connection with? Especially when our own parents had proven love could exist between couples who worked together. I wasn’t going to allow Yuri to play at being my puppet master. It was time to fucking cut the strings for good.
Fortunately, almost right away, the other dancers raced over to us, taking mugs of frosty beer or glasses of wine from me, breaking up the conversation completely. I didn’t let on to either Yuri or Clara I’d overheard their conversation, which had been really a one-sided lecture given by Yuri, but, from the odd look in Clara’s eyes, I got the impression she’d guessed regardless.
Before long, Yuri was dragged away by some of the other dancers, leaving me and Clara alone.