Puke. Besides, how can I sue someone when I had access to everything he did? I could have taken the time to look, but I didn’t. Because I trusted him, because I’m a dumbass.
God damn my fucking father…
“Thank God, The San Fran Open wants you back,” Bodhi says as I finally pull my head up from the table after repeatedly banging it, a little excitement replacing my misery and disgust with myself. “You just gotta place in the top three, and you’ll be golden with cash for quite a while.”
I nod, rubbing my hands together, knowing I need to do a hell of lot more training than I have the last two days. My heart immediately plummets though, because the last two days since my date with Birdie and our one and only time having sex, we both decided I needed to focus. I’ve been exhausted as hell after doing nothing but drills from the minute the sun comes up until it goes down and I can no longer see my balls, barely able to drive back to my cottage before taking a quick shower and passing out. Laura took a few days off to go to a spa with some girlfriends on the mainland, which means Wren is pulling double duty at the Dip and Twist, and Birdie has had to help out with her nephew in the evenings. We’re like two ships passing in the… day, since the only time we’ve seen each other since our date is at work. We’ve managed to steal a few kisses and some epic groping behind trees and in storage closets, but it’s not enough. She’s like a drug I can’t get enough of, and two days of not being inside her is two days too long.
Glancing at my watch, I see I only have a few more minutes before I need to get out of here and back to SIG for my plan I put in place with Tess earlier in the day to begin. “I hate that I already have to leave Birdie in a week, but at least it’s only for two days,” I tell him, waving our waitress over so I can get our bill.
“I still think you should tell her.” Bodhi sighs. “About the money problems, about you wanting to buy a cottage and stay here permanently with her, and why you’re getting the fuck out of dodge so fast after just getting here and after just getting her. Also, why aren’t we asking her to come with us again?”
Just like offering to give me money, Bodhi also hasn’t shut up about how he thinks I need to tell Birdie everything. He suddenly has a serious girlfriend for the first time in his adult life, and now he thinks he can hand out dating advice to everyone.
“Birdie knows this is my job, and she knows I have to travel to do it, even though this tournament popped up a lot faster than either of us expected,” I remind him, my heart sinking all over again when I think about leaving her even for two days. “It’s just a couple days, and then I’ll be right back. She has a busy job and a family who needs her here more. It would be selfish of me to ask her to leave them just to watch me golf. She’d be bored as hell standing around at that tournament. I play in those things, and even I get bored as hell waiting around. And I’m not telling her about the cottage, because it’s a surprise. You don’t usually tell people about a surprise or it’s called something else. Like… news.”
Plus, this is all still fresh and brand new with Birdie, this switch from friendship to something more. Even though it feels so natural and right and like we’ve been touching and kissing and she’s been letting me fondle her boobs all this time instead of just a few days, I’m still a regular guy who doesn’t want his new girlfriend to think he’s a loser. I want her to look at me and see all my good qualities and how happy I can make her, and not see all the stupid decisions I’ve made to screw up my life that I’m trying to give to her. I just want her to look at me and fucking fall in love with me as deeply as I am with her. When I leave Summersweet to get on that plane for California, I just want her to want me to come back home. To her, because she needs me and she’s in love with me. And then I’ll get to see the look on her face when I win that goddamn tournament and tell her I bought her the closet of her dreams, and the times I’ll need to leave her after that will be few and far between.