“We’ll find them, don’t worry. I’m not ready to go under the knife just yet. Of course, there’s always anal.”
“And I didn’t have you down as the bisexual type.”
“Funny.”
“I try.”
We find our way to a highway service station out on the main road, at which we fill up with gas, buy chocolate, a magazine that has a new advert of Landon in it and a large pack of condoms. This is the first time that Landon and I have been together with someone else who isn’t Mom or Marvin, in a public place doing something ordinary, and I know we aren’t it yet, but I can’t help imagine us as a normal couple in a normal relationship, doing something normal people do.
For just that briefest of moments, I forget completely that Landon is my stepbrother, and it feels absolutely incredible. At one point, I catch myself touching him in a way only two people who have been intimate would touch each other, and pull my hand away as soon as I realize as though the thing has caught on fire, just in case someone spots us.
We’re not anywhere near that moment yet and I have to be careful. The last thing I want to do is scare him off. The line between being clear about what you want and coming on too strong is a thin and murky one and I desperately don’t want to fuck it up.
Today, yesterday, tonight, tomorrow, it’s been so amazing already, it feels like a lot longer than only two days, and I want to make sure it turns into a lot more than that. I’m fairly convinced that Landon feels the same way too, but I’m not going to know for sure until we’re back in our normal lives doing that normal shit that makes us who we really are on a day to day basis. Landon’s inability to hold down a relationship, his track record, mine too, the fact that we are stepbrother and stepsister, all of those things conspire against us and if the feelings we have for each other aren’t strong enough, and our situation is too complicated to overcome, it’s all going to fall flat on it’s face before we’ve even begun, and these two days, will seem like the most distant point of a long journey we gave up on after only a few steps.
Added to that, even though he says otherwise, Landon likes chasing girls. He’s an underwear model for Christ sake, so it’s not like there isn’t a constant influx of new talent. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that bothered me. And then there is the fact that I’m going back to Uni in October. Ok, I’m only going one state across, but it does mean I’m not going to be as close to him physically as I want to be. Then there is his schedule. At home training for half of it, on the road for the other. I know not all men cheat, and Landon isn’t like that, but I worry about missing him, not being there enough for him, not being together enough for us both. And then I catch myself thinking this and realize it’s only been two days so far, and I should really just chill the fuck out and enjoy myself, except there are only two days left to do that and when we get home it could be a completely different story entirely.
“You’ve got a glow, you know. You’ve had it for the last two days.”
“What do you mean, a glow.”
“Your skin, it’s kind of glowing, like your blood is warm.”
“My blood is warm.”
“No, but I mean, more than that. You know that look you get just after you come, well it’s like that, but sort of permanent, like it doesn’t go away.”
“Huh.”
Landon kills the engine. We’re a back home now, just before dark. I can see Mom’s silhouette in the window waving at us.
“I thought I should tell you, you know, just in case your Mom asks what you’ve been up to and you have to think of an excuse on the spot.”
“Maybe it’s just my natural womanly glow.”
“I don’t think that will cut it.”
“You know, I think you’ve got it too.”
“The glow?”
“Yeah, now that you mention it. I wasn’t sure what it was before, but you’ve definitely got it.”
“A natural womanly glow?”
“Exactly.”
“Maybe we can tell them it’s something we ate.”
“Don’t, she’s probably still upset about Marvin getting sick.”
“Are you ready?”
I nod.
“We didn’t fuck, we just walked about in the rain and then went for a drive when the sun came out. I didn’t come. I didn’t suck anyone’s dick, especially not my stepbrother’s, and I don’t still have a tingly pussy.”
“That’s very convincing, Tilly. I should be worried.”
“I told you I’m an artist.”
“Don’t forget the condoms, I don’t think I’m ready for anal quite yet.”
“You know you’re funnier than I thought you would be.”
“Is it true?”
“What?”
“About your pussy.”
“You can tell me later on.”
Landon pays no attention to that, and I don’t stop him when he puts his hand between my legs to test just how wet I still am for him. This has nothing to do with the water from the lake either, my panties are wet simply because Landon Maddox is sat alongside me, and I know what he will want to do after dinner, when we are alone again.
“Naughty, Tilly.”
“You caught me.”
“Your Mom might catch us both if we don’t get out of this car soon. Any more waving and her arm’s going to drop off.”
“You first.”
“Alright.”