This is not the end. This is just a mini goodbye until we see each other again. I know that, so it baffles me why I’m actually crying. I can’t stop the tears bubbling up and spilling out onto my cheeks, and I have to turn my head slightly so Mom and Marvin can’t see me. This hug is going to turn into the longest hug I’ve ever given anyone in my life, and there is a very real possibility that Mom and Marvin are going to wonder whether I’ve fallen asleep, but fuck it, I need this. This is my goodbye, my start again, my beginning and end all wrapped up into one.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For not being a dick.”
“Tilly.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“I should go.”
“I should let you go.”
“They’re going to think we are weird.”
“You are weird.”
“Call me.”
“This isn’t the end, Tilly.”
“I know.”
I pull away slightly so I can look him in the eyes just before we go, and in that moment it seems like the most obvious and most sensible thing to do. Whether it’s a rush of blood to the head or something stronger, it doesn’t matter, because I don’t give myself any more chance to think about it before I’ve pulled him towards me and pressed my lips passionately against his.
Landon allows me to do it, but to be fair, I don’t give him much choice. When I finally pull away from him, which is likely to be only a second or two later, but feels like an eternity and more, he looks absolutely stunned.
He’s not the only one either.
I’m totally shocked I’ve actually gone and done it myself, and as soon as it’s over I feel my face blushing red. I try and tell myself it probably looked a lot more innocent than it felt, but when I take two steps back to align myself with Mom and Marvin, their faces tell me something different entirely. Mom looks like she might have just seen something from another planet, while Marvin looks like he’s questioning whether he saw what he thinks he saw at all. I’ve kissed my step brother, and the whole world has witnessed it.
“Ok”, Mom says.
“Right”, Marvin says.
Landon can’t wipe the cheesy grin off his face, while I just stand there awkwardly, trying desperately to hide my blushes. That was so stupid I can’t believe I just did it.
“Ready to go?”
Mom and Marvin get into the car first, while Landon and I have a split second more before I have to join them. He shakes his head in disbelief, that wide smile a permanent feature across his incredibly gorgeous face.
“I knew you were dangerous.”
I mouth the word sorry, but I don’t think it matters. Landon doesn’t seem like he cares either way. I watch him get into his car before a tap on the window tells me it’s time for me to g
et into mine. It’s time for us to go.
We are the first to pull away, and through the cloud of dust that gets thrown up in our wake, I just about make out Landon in his car behind us, blowing me a kiss.
I watch out of the back windshield for as long as I can, before Landon falls away behind us and then finally disappears entirely.
For the first time in a few days I’m alone again. Ok, I’m with Mom and Marvin, but I’m naked without Landon. It’s only been a few days, but it’s been enough to know. My thoughts move to the inevitable, to the possibility of what might become of us, the things we’ve shared already and the things we have the potential of sharing in the future and although I’m sad that he’s gone for now, I know in my heart of hearts it’s only temporary and that most importantly, I’ve never felt so happy in my whole life.
Flat fields give way to distant mountains while fluffy clouds fill the gaps in an azure blue sky and from time to time without saying a single word, Mom looks back over her shoulder towards me and smiles a smile that makes me know that whatever happens between Landon and I, we’re going to be alright.
This really isn’t an end for us at all, it’s very much our beginning.
Epilogue.
Approximately six months later.
Landon
Tilly’s waiting for me in the tunnel like always, a last minute kiss of good luck before the big game. She’s showing a lot more now, although I don’t really notice the little changes as much because I get to see her every day. I put my hand on her belly, the warmth of our baby inside, and bring her close to feel the lips I still can’t get enough of kissing.
The last six months have been absolutely wild, both on a professional and personal level. Tilly and I are obviously still together, but that’s no real surprise. Anyone with any sense wouldn’t have bet against us. She’s also pregnant with our baby, which was a kind of happy accident neither of us wanted to change. Tilly took the morning after pill when she got back home after our vacation, but it just didn’t work. That little sucker obviously has Maddox genes, and wasn’t going to let anyone else tell him he had to quit. When we found out it was still growing inside her, there was no way we were going to stop it.